□Li Jianyi ( Peking University )
Recently, a new buzzword has been born on the Internet, a sense of relaxation. The word
describes a casual and natural mentality, a calm confidence, nothing is a big deal, allowing everything to be as it is.
's discussion on the feeling of slack comes from a Weibo blogger "Black Cat White Socks" about travel experiences. It tells the story of a family who could not board the plane because their child's ID expired. The mother chose to accompany the child. Because her luggage was hung in the mother's name for checking, all the luggage was returned. However, during the whole process, the rest of the family who had already boarded the plane were not angry or complained, but returned to check in with a very peaceful manner. The blogger lamented at the end of the article, "There is really such a loose family relationship in this world." The number of reposts on
has exceeded 10,000 times. While more and more media are beginning to "sweep" the feeling of relaxation, many netizens also "complained":
"The root of their family's relaxation comes from people who don't care about the air ticket money at all. This is not called relaxation, it is called wealth and purity, and purity is the privilege of the rich."
"It's just that you can talk without a back pain while standing. The relaxation of the intra-collecting era is the beginning of the suffocation situation."
"What relaxation do I take?"
...
These netizens believe that in the intra-collecting era, it is like persuading people to "why not eat meat minced" in the famine era. Obviously, they don’t really understand what a slack feeling is, is it lying flat? Is it true that it is inseparable from the world? I even assumed a premise for it, is it not worthy for ordinary people? Is it the privilege of the rich?
The feeling of relaxation, frankly speaking, is a "receptive" mentality. Regardless of what happens, accept it, make the next judgment calmly, and ignore the emotional fluctuation code engraved in human DNA, because confined to emotions often makes things worse. In essence, the values behind the sense of relaxation are decomposable. When we accept this perspective, the story will no longer have an ending. We will relax in the process. Although some people or things are not in my opinion, they cannot decide anything, or they have their own meaning.
In our education, we often equate our efforts and success. We are nervous and think that we will work harder and succeed more. After failing to challenge the 4A action of the highest difficulty of Japanese figure skating player Hanyu Yuzuru , he admitted his unwillingness and asked himself why his efforts were not rewarded. In the Winter Olympics , he made a difficult move that women had never had before, shocking the world and winning the gold medal. In the interview, Gu Ailing revealed that he had only tried this action twice on the trampoline. Maybe we all understand that hard work and reward are actually a game of probability. Working hard can increase the probability of getting rewards, but the more we give, we have more expectations for the results and more obsessions. From the path, we should identify the direction of our efforts. As Zhang Chaoyang said in , make as many efforts as possible "effective". Judging from the results, we should look at the long-term and have many opportunities to test results, so we sometimes thank fate and sometimes thank ourselves. This is what is called a sense of relaxation.
, is there any prerequisite for feeling relaxed?
has it, but it doesn't have to be money.
A major premise for feeling relaxed is positive. We must actively and do our best to talk about relaxation. People in a negative state often lose their initiative, and build defense for themselves while emitting resistance in their hearts, forming a victim's psychology, thus pointing to ", ", but the slack in "slack" is not slack, but completely giving up on oneself. Another premise is "having something to hold on". Because of the child's ID, no one did anything wrong. There is no need to quarrel or complain about his negligence. The "holding" of this family is harmonious. Even if they fail to board the plane, their family is harmonious. If something goes wrong in today's work and is criticized, there is no need to over-criticize yourself if you can learn from the facts. This kind of "holding" is self-confidence.Shi Tiesheng spent his whole life in a wheelchair, and his condition gradually deteriorated. He still appreciated and even cherished the current condition. His "holding" is the life he still has.
The objective conditions of the social and economic environment certainly affect our emotions. We wander between being unable to win and being unable to lie down, so we naturally become tense, or involuntarily develop anger. The feeling of relaxation may help us take a breath in such a world. It is never the privilege of the rich. It helps us jump out of the fence of cultural attributes and will give us calm confidence and solid courage.
