Author | Xu Diandian
Can you imagine it?
A father from an ordinary family, without money and no background,
actually trained all 6 children into outstanding talents:
5 doctors from prestigious schools and 1 master's from prestigious schools.
Every child is in his own field,
has achieved very high achievements.
eldest son, graduated from Cornell University in the United States, tenured professor of University of Pennsylvania;
second son, admitted to the junior class of the University of Science and Technology of China at the age of 14, and obtained a doctorate from the University of Rochester in the United States at the age of 25;
third son, graduated from Beijing Institute of Foreign Languages, , doctorate from St. John's University in the United States; htt ml4
Four sons, graduated from the Department of Medicine of West China Medical University, Ph.D. from Arkansas State University in the United States;
Five sons, Master of Chinese University of Science and Technology, and now banking institutions hold important positions;
Six female, she became MIT Ph.D. at the age of 18, and became the youngest associate professor at Harvard University at the age of 28, and is currently a doctoral supervisor at Harvard University.
This father is called Cai Xiaowan ,
is a rural doctor with a meager income,
A family of 8 have lived in a rental house of 16 square meters for many years,
But they have trained the children to become talents.
Therefore, he is known as "Father of Doctors" .
Media interviewed him one after another: "What is your secret to parenting?"
He said: "I treat my father as my career."
His educational experience was summarized into 10 sentences.
These 10 sentences are very simple, everyone can do it, but
can benefit children for life.
Unless you have the right number,
Otherwise, you must choose the front position to sit.
Don't be afraid to be conspicuous in front of you,
Remember that everything about success is conspicuous.
If you want others to recognize your highlights,
must let others see you first.
A little boy was not selected as a class monitor, and he was a little frustrated. After returning home, he asked his mother:
"Mom, why don't the classmates choose the class monitor?"
Mom asked him back, "Then have you recommended yourself on your own initiative?"
"No, I'm embarrassed to say it."
Mom brought a bag of oranges and said to him :
"You choose the best orange."
"But, these oranges all look similar...?"
"Yes, if you want others to recognize you,
First of all, do you have to think of a way?
Let not see your advantages?"
sit in front, and make yourself start to become eye-catching.
Train children's walking posture,
High your head and your chest up, and look into the distance.
Don’t underestimate walking posture.
There is an old Chinese saying that "Stand like pine, walk like wind".
Walking posture best reflects a person's emotions, posture and cultivation,
It is a reflection of a person's temperament.
trains children to hold their heads up and look into the distance.
consciously speeds up their walking speed,
will make the child fully open up their aura.
Psychologists once tested 15,000 volunteers.
found that people always hold their heads up and look ahead when walking.
often have a better mentality and more confidence, and
also has a higher happiness index.
For those who have a hunched back and sway left and right,
is generally more inferior,
has poor psychological quality and is even more pessimistic.
Interestingly,
When psychologists guide those who have a hunched back,
asked them to raise their heads and straighten their chests when practicing walking.
After a while, I accidentally discovered that
Their thinking has also begun to become positive, and
The confidence level has also greatly improved.
Change posture and speed, and you can change your mindset.
practice facing others and keep smiling.
Eyes are the window of the soul, and
sincere and firm eyes represent confidence.
Once we dare to face others and have a firm look,
is equivalent to telling the other party that
I am sincere and open and trustworthy.
and his eyes dodge, or blink frequently,
dare not face others,
often means timidity and lack of confidence.
Someone counted that
In a presidential debate in October 1996, when the candidate Geer gave a speech,
blinked an average of 103 times per minute,
and his competitor Bill Clinton only had 48 times.
In comparison, Clinton seemed more calm,
so it is easier to win the trust of voters.
So,
practice facing others is not only a reflection of your confidence,
is also a display of your personal charm.
From the age of 1 and a half, teach children to lead the way.
Don’t always be the guide for your children.
Every time I go out,
can consciously let the children lead the way for their parents.
This is the beginning of cultivating children's independence abilities.
Let go appropriately and let the child become the leader.
When he makes small progress for the first time,
Don't be stingy with your praise.
affirmation and encouragement from parents,
is the best "psychological reinforcer" to cultivate children's independence and confidence.
From the age of 3, let children try to save money appropriately.
What does saving money mean?
means you know that the resources in this world are limited,
and know how to prepare for the crisis.
save money, in fact, it is another possibility to buy.
Cai Xiaowan designed many small games for the children.
The winning children can deposit a sum of money in their "personal passbook".
As more and more money is available in passbooks,
Children's sense of accomplishment is becoming stronger and stronger.
is the financial management game when I was a child.
inspired the second son's economic thinking.
He imitated his father, and
established his own "bank passbook" for other brothers and sisters.
When he grew up,
He had his own economic physics theory and the operation method of funds.
was also hired as vice president by American financial company Goldman Sachs .
teaches children financial management since childhood,
teaches them independence, thinking and self-discipline.
A small move,
may plant the seeds of dreams for children,
When they grow up, they grow into towering trees. After the age of 33, teach children etiquette.
Guests came to the house,
Cai Xiao party asked the children to help the guests get chairs,
asked the guests to eat fruit and give up their seats to the elderly.
Children who understand etiquette will not learn bad things.
The earlier you cultivate good habits, the better.
psychologist John Gotman research shows that
children who know etiquette and politeness are healthier, and they are more concerned about others.
are more compassionate and have more friends, and
also have better academic performance.
etiquette,
is not only the best education for parents to give their children,
is also a way to improve academic performance.
consciously argue with your child to win.
Don't always let your children lose.
deliberately stands on the wrong side,
lets the child win in the argument and praises it in time.
Jane Nelson In " Positive Discipline " said:
"We want to win the child, not win the child."
Properly showing weakness can stimulate children's confidence and courage.
cultivates children's ability to speak in public.
is that talents do not necessarily have eloquence,
But eloquence is often talented.
who can clearly express their opinions in public,
can get more opportunities.
often uses hint methods,
Let children believe that they are a special person and will definitely have a future in the future.
In that era when every household was hanging fashionable posters,
What was Cai Xiaowan’s hanging at home?
is a portrait of great men such as Newton , Einstein , Madame Curie ,
He also teaches the stories of scientists to the children.
When my daughter was 4 years old,
decided to "become a Madame Curie in China" when she grew up,
wanted to go to the best university in the world.
's ambitions for his daughter,
Cai Xiaowan never mocked her,
instead gave her suggestions seriously.
Later, my daughter did it one by one.
Sometimes,
does not believe it because it has done it,
but can only be done because it has believed.
famous American psychologist Rosenthal ,
Once conducted such an experiment:
He came to an ordinary middle school to conduct a test,
Then he circled a batch of names on the student list未分类,
told the principal and the teacher:
"These students have high IQ and are very smart."
8 months later, a miracle happened.
The group of selected students,
actually became the best in the school.
In fact, Rosenthal told a lie.
The list he submitted,
Children do not have so-called talents,
These children are just randomly selected.
makes the child believe that he will have a future, and
will gradually grow into what he believes in.
Don’t brutally deny the child’s opinions
Even if parents think it is incorrect,
Don’t brutally deny the child’s opinions
instead respect the child’s ideas and give sincere suggestions.
For a while, the fourth son, who has always had good grades, doesn't want to learn anymore,
proposed to go to Shaolin Temple.
Cai Xiaowan did not deny it directly,
He confirmed to his son if he really wanted to go to Shaolin Temple to practice martial arts.
Remind his son:
"If you want to learn martial arts, write a guarantee letter,
guarantees to learn martial arts in this life and never study anymore.
and must become a master. ”
After getting the guarantee,
He really sent his son to Shaolin Temple.
At the beginning, my son was very happy in Shaolin Temple.
However, gradually, the pain of practicing martial arts began to torture him.
Two months later, he asked his father for help and wanted to come back to study.
Cai Xiaowan refused his son's request. He said:
"Everyone is responsible for his own behavior.
is not something you want to go, you can go back whenever you want,
insists on completing this semester."
After one semester,
After the end of one semester,
The son returned to school and was admitted to a key university in one fell swoop.
Home Education is a great cause.
The personalities of children vary greatly, and the educational methods of
are also different.
But these ten sentences,
can be taught to children as universal principles.
Behind all the excellent children,
must contain the parents' careful education.
persevere, persevere,
will affect the child's life.
—— End——
Author: Xu Diandian, editor of the parenting column, focusing on parenting and child psychology research. Some of the pictures are from the Internet and the copyright belongs to the original author.
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