The most interesting and practical psychology to work hard every day
Kindness is the greatest virtue of being a human being, but kindness also depends on the object, the occasion, and principled. Cruelness and kindness are relative. Kind people, because they have suffered a lot of hardships, cannot bear to be cruel to others. However, this kind of kindness that is not sharp can easily make themselves in a very embarrassing situation and is easily hurt.
Only when you learn to be "cruel" can your safety be guaranteed to the greatest extent.
psychoanalysis points out that people essentially have a "cruel" side. "Cruel" is the nature of human nature, that is, the evil of human nature. In psychology, it is called attack instinct, which is also translated as "invasion instinct".
is an intrinsic instinct that directly leads to attack behavior. Psychologist Freud believes: "Humans are not friendly animals that want to be loved. On the contrary, they have a strong attack instinct.
When people encounter unbearable blows, because their self is playing a regulatory role, it does not allow themselves to self-destruct, so this instinct turns to others. For example, men who have experienced strong frustration in their relationship will choose to attack others, deceive other girls' feelings, and let others Being hurt can achieve self-balancing.
Aggression can relieve people's tension to a certain extent. After venting tension, people's aggressive instincts will be satisfied. This kind of malice cannot be said to be good or bad. The best use is the best.
Before going abroad, the writer Sanmao was instructed by his parents to "go out and be tolerant of everything, and suffering losses are cheap." If you have a dispute with someone, take a step back and the sky will be wide open.
Never be angry with others, you must have a broad mind. "When she first arrived in Spain to move into the girls' dormitory, Sanmao was enthusiastic and kind. In addition to her own internal affairs, she also often did the roommate's internal affairs.
Gradually, the roommate began to take her efforts for granted, and began to lose temper with her, clean up, and all kinds of housework became her own business. She became her classmates' "free wardrobe". Until one day, the roommate was drinking in her bed. After being discovered, Sanmao was scolded by the principal.
She thought: "I have too many obligations in this dormitory. Now I'm willing to give it a big mess with Sun Wukong. At worst, I'm out, it's not a death sentence. "
So she threw away all her parents' tricks and let her do things. As a result, those who are used to enjoying Sanmao's tolerance and dedication have treated her better.
We often come into contact with such cases in the psychological counseling room: those suffering from depression and anxiety Many people are afraid of other people's "aggressiveness".
Not only that, they will suppress their aggression, and even feel guilty and blame themselves for their attack fantasies, thinking that this is an immoral behavior.
Now, patients with depression and anxiety are generally younger and young. They should have mustered up the courage to release their youthful vitality, but they are sick Curling up in the corner makes oneself psychological disorder, this is their psychological misunderstanding - not knowing how to release inner aggression.
Aggression is an important driving force for a person's growth
All accomplished people in this world have a "cruel" side. Napoleon once said, "Soldiers who don't want to be generals are not good soldiers." He also threatened to take over the entire Europe.
The so-called "fighting with the sky, fighting with the earth, fighting with people is endless joy", expressing the aggression in the heart vividly. In interpersonal relationships, they must be "decisive" because once something goes wrong, they may be themselves who lose their lives.
is even more extreme, Cao Cao said: It is better to kill a thousand people by mistake than to let one go. Cao Cao is selfish. He applied this aggressiveness to the extreme, but he was also successful and made many contributions to society and the country. How can we simply evaluate him with good or bad?
Aggression is not only a natural nature of human beings, but also a driving force for struggle and achievement.
If we always can’t bear to hurt others, then others will hurt us in the opposite direction, this is the case in the era of intrigue and even more so in modern peaceful times.
Because youth is only once, if you don’t choose “attack”, what originally belonged to you will be taken away by others, and you can only leave your regrets for a lifetime.
In a sense, suffering from mental illness is equivalent to walking dead and is eliminated by society.
But now it is a civilized society, and everyone has the right to survive and become better. If you don’t understand this, you are still curled up in your own small world, don’t know how to release your aggressiveness, and you won’t learn the word “cruel”.
Play as a weak person with peace of mind, then you can only live as a transparent person, and you will never shine brightly on your body, and you will gradually be "transparent" until you completely disappear from this world.
Expressing Aggressive
One of the goals of psychological counseling, which also includes people to better develop their aggression. But psychological counseling is always objective, rational and neutral . It will not simply support you in anger, nor will it directly tell you "This scumbag boyfriend, you should take revenge on him."
The various popular books and spiritual chicken soup on the market will only tell you some simple rules and regulations: establish your own boundaries, be kind, etc.
The heroine Lin Pinru in "The Temptation of Going Home" was cruelly bullied and hurt by her husband and mistress, but she still shrank. Later, she met Ms. Gao Hong with the same experience. She told the heroine: Those who come to this world and fail once will have a different life in the future!
To be precise, Ms. Gao Hong inspired the heroine and her "strong" behavior made her change.
Because youth is only once, if you don’t choose “attack”, what originally belonged to you will be taken away by others, and you can only leave your regrets for a lifetime.
It can be seen from this that the more "cruel" a person is, the luckier he is. Learning to be cruel is the greatest guarantee for your safety.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
First Psychological Writer Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
Reference: Jean Piaget Biographie. (2020, January 29).
