1 Recently, I saw a heartwarming video in my mother's group: Tydus, a 3-year-old boy in California, USA, prepares dinner for his mother. His independent and mature performance is amazing.

No matter how much a parent loves his children, he does not have the ability and time to accompany him through the second half of his life.

1

Recently, I saw a heartwarming video in my mother's group:

Tydus, a 3-year-old boy from California, USA, prepares dinner for his mother. His independent and mature performance is amazing.

He went to the supermarket to push a shopping cart higher than him, bought bread and other food, went to the garden to pick flowers to decorate the dining table, cooked lasagna in the microwave, toasted bread in the oven, placed tableware, poured drinks...

When he was taking the juice, he accidentally fell and the juice was sprinkled all over the floor. Not only did Tydus not cry, he also quickly got up and cleaned it carefully with a rag, and mocked himself: "This is life, brother."

His dedication, concentration and self-control made the old mothers in the group cry and move.

Looking at the video, I couldn't help but think of a funny and funny news on Weibo some time ago.

A man was fined 5,000 yuan and detained for 15 days for using a fake driver's license, but his parents questioned the traffic police: "You are too much! He is still a child, only 31 years old! Why is the punishment so heavy?"

31 years old or a child? Still so righteous? How ridiculous it is.

American 3-year-old boy has such a strong sense of independence, but our 31-year-old man has grown into a giant baby. Is it because our children are naturally inferior to other people’s children?

is of course not.

But, many times, we love our children so much, we are used to doing everything we can, but we forget to let go of our hands and let them deal with things independently, learn the ability to solve problems and the courage to overcome difficulties.

Wisdom parents love their children more deeply and know how to let go of their hands slowly so that they can learn to be independent.

2

Do you still remember the prodigy who was dropped out of school Wei Yongkang ?

He has a glittering resume. He was admitted to a key university at the age of 13. He was the youngest undergraduate student in Hunan at that time. He was admitted to a master's and doctoral degree graduate student at the age of 17.

When the future is bright, he was dropped out of school by the Chinese Academy of Sciences at the age of 20 because he cannot take care of himself and be independent.

It turned out that his mother thought that the child would have a promising career only if he was devoted to studying, so she took care of all the housework, including helping him wash clothes and bathing, and feeding him until he was in high school, and living in the dormitory to accompany him in college.

When he arrived at the Chinese Academy of Sciences and left his mother, Wei Yongkang was like a child, unable to handle his own affairs, and could not adapt to the independent research model of the Chinese Academy of Sciences in his studies. In his winter, he wore single clothes and slippers to wander around Tiananmen. After being dropped out of school, he almost ran away and his mother was heartbroken.

Wei Yongkang

Someone said: "Parents who never teach children to be independent are the most ignorant and cruel. They are like eagles who don't teach the little eagle to fly, but when they become adults, they push it off the cliff without saying anything."

agrees deeply.

, and raising children into giant babies, cheating the children and making parents even more miserable.

A 44-year-old unemployed son sent his 83-year-old mother to the train station to beg for him every day;

An old aunt was suddenly beaten by her son while walking on the road because she could not afford 20,000 yuan to pay off his debts.

In the eyes of these children who should have been independent, it is natural for parents to support themselves, without any gratitude and feedback.

Writer Liu Yong said: "The child does not know how to cherish it because he has become a bird in a cage, waiting for you to feed it every day. He cannot be independent and thinks you owe him, so you should feed him then."

Parents who do not know how to let go actually give their children is not love, but harm.

In the name of love, deprive children of their right to grow and their ability to be independent. The path parents have walked for their children will eventually become a pit that cannot be climbed out in the future, harming each other.

3

As parents, we can't help but worry that our children are still young and cannot take good care of ourselves.

always ignores: During the growth process of , the desire for independence and self-improvement is the innate ability and desire of children.

When my child was about 3 years old, he had a strong sense of independence and had to do everything by himself, but his movements were slow and crazy.

Before going out once, I forced myself to help me pick out clothes and put on my own.

Unexpectedly, after the child finished his tossing, he suddenly came and kissed me, and said with a sense of accomplishment: "Thank you, mom!"

This unexpected thank you made me wake up. He hoped that he would not interfere with him than what I did for him.

When parents are used to letting their children try boldly, their performance is often amazing.

Fan Deng Teacher once shared a story:

A friend of his pays great attention to encouraging his daughter to solve problems by herself and cultivate the child to be very independent.

14 years old, the girl went to study in the United States, packed her luggage, and flew alone for 27 hours. After

arrived, I realized that the United States does not allow children under the age of 15 to fly alone, and the girl was detained at the airport.

The girl called her parents to tell her the situation. She was alone in her hometown, but she calmly said, "Let me try to solve it yourself."

The girl showed the police a series of documents to prove that she was here to study, explaining that because she did not understand the age limit, she flew in alone after buying the air ticket.

Later, the police let her go, and the captain admired her very much, invited her to visit the cockpit and took a photo with the crew, which was a good story.

Writer Li Yueliang once said: "As a parent, the greatest achievement is to cultivate children who can get along with the world."

It is true that children who are independent and able to handle things can do things well no matter where they go and will be welcomed.

The relationship between each child and his mother is symbiotic when he is born. The mother takes care of the child in every detail, and the child also expresses his needs through the mother.

However, as children grow older and have an improved ability, this symbiotic relationship needs to be cut by their own hands.

Only by separating from parents psychologically and independent in action can children truly grow up.

Only when parents know how to let go can children have the ability to walk alone for a lifetime.

4

What can parents do to cultivate independent and capable children?

The parenting book that ranks the number one sales volume of American tutoring books. "How to listen to children, how to listen to children," mentions several specific methods:

1. Listen to let the children choose

Many parents think that their children don’t know anything, and delegating power to give them choices is easy to make mistakes. However, if the child is not allowed to choose and does not allow the child to make mistakes, the child will not be able to grow.

Once, the famous Taiwanese host Wu Danru bought a new piece of clothing for her daughter. Her daughter liked it very much. Even though the weather was hot, the clothes were too thick, she had to wear them.

She knew it was not suitable but she still held back and didn't stop it. Not long after I put it on, my daughter said, "It's better to change it if it's too hot."

Wu Danru sighed: "Children have the ability to judge, and it is not scary to choose mistakes. The important thing is to learn to identify and correct themselves through mistakes."

The so-called independence is the ability to learn from small choices, bear the consequences, and correct mistakes.

2. Be patient and let the child do what he can

Children's independence starts with "doing his own things by himself", and parents should resist and not interfere.

After going to elementary school, parents can let their children do some housework within their ability, such as taking out garbage, sweeping the floor, wiping tables and chairs.

Educator Chen Heqin said: Let the child do whatever he can do.

There is a famous educational saying for the Jews: You must do your own things yourself.

Even if you do not have the best results, you must do it. Only when things go wrong can you get the future improvement.

If you always rely on others, then your life will always be accompanied by poverty and humbleness.

agrees deeply. If you can't do your own things well, why do you have the ability to enter society in the future?

3. Slow down and encourage children to solve problems by themselves

The most advanced independence is that children can solve problems by themselves, which requires parents to consciously cultivate them.

Once watched a Thai short film. In the short film, the mother who sold pineapples said that she had never read a book and did not know how to teach her children, but only knew how to encourage her children to solve problems themselves.

The daughter didn't know how to cut pineapple. She didn't help, but cut it aside and let the child learn.

My daughter wanted to sell pineapple popsicles, but she didn't help but asked her daughter to sell it herself.

My daughter’s pineapple popsicle can’t be sold, what should I do? She didn't help, but asked her daughter to go to the market to see how others sold things.

Finally, my daughter learned sales skills from the market, and all pineapple popsicles were sold short.

When the girl grew up, she received a scholarship and completed her undergraduate studies.

When the child asks you questions or asks you for help, there is no need to lend a helping hand immediately. Let the child try to solve it himself, and his independence will gradually improve.

4. The most important thing is to trust your child to do it by himself.

. The concept that children will not do things well without the care and supervision of their parents.

Break out of the inherent experience, believe in the power of children's inner growth, give children the rules of love and freedom, and let them experience it.

Through encouragement and guidance, children can learn the correct way to be a person and do things, rather than doing everything for themselves.

5

Recently, a heart-wrenching video has spread widely in the circle of friends, touching countless netizens.

11-year-old girl Gao Ya was born blind, but her mother let her go to school alone.

The road to school is only 368 meters. It is only 5 minutes for ordinary people to walk through, but she has to use a blind guide stick to hit the road thousands of times, and walked for a full 15 minutes.

Gao Ya didn't know that behind her, her mother had been following her silently, blocking traffic for her, and never left near or far.

Mother could have sent her daughter to school directly, but she said: "Only in this way can she be truly confident and independent. One day, her father and I will leave this world and we must overcome everything by ourselves."

The parents' beloved son is far-reaching.

As the famous psychologist Sylvia said, "All love in this world is aimed at aggregation. There is only one kind of love that points to separation, that is the love of parents for their children."

No matter how much they love their children, they do not have the ability and time to accompany them through the second half of their lives.

Real love for children is to give him an independent personality and strength so that he can take over his life.

The best love that parents can give their children is love that knows how to withdraw with decent attitude. Parents’ most sincere care for their children is not only holding hands, but also letting go of their hands.

Please don’t forget that only by letting your child give birth to wings of independence is the most lasting love and blessing for him.