I don’t say secret words, I’m here to recommend variety shows again.
South Korea recently launched a program called "God of Love Party", which is a bit like the red version of "Signal of Heart": let the parents of five artists take a big cruise together, and the children observe their performance on the second scene. The reason why
is like this is because the parents of these artists are single middle-aged and elderly people.
Some fathers have been widowed for four years and are always stuck at home alone, so they don’t go out to play; some mothers have been divorced for many years and have been suffering for most of their lives by raising their children alone.
program team gave them a name for middle-aged and elderly people like them, "Single Dusk Clan" (Single Dusk Clan) .
Children who asked them to participate in the show do not necessarily have to make up for a marriage, but they just want to let them go out for and make some new friends . The most interesting thing about this show is that the children finally got out of the way - my dad/my mom finally got rid of me, what does it look like when he and his old friends play together?
It is precisely because of this way of observation that the artists and viewers on the show can’t help but think:
Wow, do I really “know” my dad/my mom?
Of course, at first glance, what do you think is this saying? In terms of closeness, who would not know their parents?
, especially the artists in the observation room, are all from single-parent families and have deeper bonds with the only remaining parents. They only looked at their backs and knew that it was my dad/mother who appeared, and a little proud and embarrassed smile immediately appeared on their faces.
The caring children also know their father's living habits well. Actress Li Qing'e's father loves to drink. As soon as he asked if he had any alcohol on the cruise ship, his daughter immediately showed a helpless expression of "I know!"
However, in addition to these conventional life details, parents who are out of sight of their children bring a lot of surprises to them -
Unexpectedly, the elders who are 300 years old will do such a thing? (Can you go to work at UC tomorrow)
At the beginning, these single and stupid people were indeed very reserved.
They attended a dinner on a cruise ship, watching foreigners dance but were embarrassed to join. When they heard their favorite songs, they just hummed a few lines, which perfectly interpreted the restraint and dignity of traditional oriental people in such social occasions.
The children in the observation room feel very understanding: even young people are easily afraid of having sex in such occasions.
They did not expect that their parents were actually much more social than they thought.
writer Xu Zhixiong originally thought that his mother was most afraid of dancing, and she would not be able to show off on such occasions when she was beaten to death.
As a result, when my mother was invited to dance by the enthusiastic foreign crew, she said casually, but she was very honest, and danced with foreign men generously and gracefully, which was simply too easy.
Not only did the old sisters exclaim, "I thought she couldn't dance," but the son in the observation room recalled what his mother had said before, and also had a deceived expression: Who said dancing is a nightmare? Who said that you will always be dancing in your dreams?
Other men and ladies were also infected. Although their footwork was unfamiliar, they also danced dances on the dance floor that they rarely had the chance to dance.
The single mother of singer Narsha has suffered most of her life. She was invited by a tall and handsome gentleman to dance on such occasions. The brilliance on her face was something her daughter had never seen before.
The next day, Xu Zhixiong's mother became more lively and cute. She called the old gentleman who was walking with her like a girl "Oba". Even though the two of them were almost 150 years old together, they could still create a pink bubble atmosphere.
The son in the small window in the lower left corner of the
The fathers are not inferior to each other.
Korean dancer Ha Huidong's father is one of the guests. He is taciturn and is the kind of old man who speaks slowly and does things slowly.
No one expected that he was very good at sniping the girlish hearts of the old sisters: after a day of fun, he also thought of buying souvenirs for the three ladies, making them all laugh as if they were happy.
The uncles and aunts here praise and thank each other generously. The sons outside the screen looked panicked, and they probably had a bullet screen in their minds:
Dad, are you still the dad I know? Didn’t you think you have this trick to flirt with girls? ? ?
, a contrasting variety show, has a strong effect, but in addition to this, it also makes people realize one thing:
only discovered from the perspective of bystanders that parents do have many appearances, which children have never seen before.
Whether it is these stars or ordinary people, in traditional parent-child relationships, some things seem to be our natural default.
For example, parents in the eyes of children are always upbeat and polite. Only children will be excited and lose their composure, but parents who are "adults" won't do it. In the
program, Narsha heard her mother screaming excitedly because she was too happy with , and was completely shocked: Could it be my mother? I have never heard her make such a sound in her life!
Li Qing'e thought her father was a serious old gentleman, but she didn't expect that he would become the hot dancer in the tour group, and she would happily hum "Love God Party~" and twist it twice, making the old sisters fall back and forth.
filial children all hope that their parents can live a happy old age, but they didn't expect that they would go out for a trip and just do such a small thing for the cruise ship, and they would cheer and be happy.
Due to the age gap, parents are always considered conservative and old-fashioned, and are always rejected and resisted in the face of new things.
Taciturn and Shaoyu's father was originally in line with his son's expectations of him. He was slow to speak and was introverted, and had no sense of existence.
Results The next day when he was traveling to the park with his female companion, he was shocked... took the initiative to wear rabbit ear headdress . All the artists in the observation room were shocked: Uncle, you are already 67!
Facing those fresh things, they love to play more and know how to play more than they imagined. When taking photos in the 4D photo studio, they are even more "drama-like" than young people.
Facts have proved that if the elderly are having fun, their spirits will be more scarier than those of young people.
Seeing them blowing on the bow of the cruise ship, the children were so embarrassed that they kept muttering, "Don't imitate the Titanic's pose ah ah." As a result, the uncles and aunts were so happy to pose for the photos and pose for a while, and they were not shy at all.
Seeing his mother playing like an old child on the TV show, she was unambiguous in playing, and even made some "childish" and unexpected actions. The artists had this expression throughout the whole process↓↓↓: Dad/Mom, what are you doing!
But if you think about it carefully, they are just doing things that make them happy.
If you remove the filters of your children to your parents and just treat them as ordinary people, then there is nothing strange about parents' self-release side.
When middle-aged people still have their own hobbies and personalities. In the
program, people realize that these elderly single ladies will subconsciously tidy up their clothes when they see the opposite sex for the first time in formal occasions.
It turns out that they also have the kind of childish little thoughts. Single old aunts will also feel happy if they are called "princess";
It turns out that mothers are still yearning for social activities such as dancing in their fifties and sixties. In order not to dislocate their knees, they quickly do warm-up exercises secretly, and look forward to wearing beautiful and sexy skirts like young people.
Young people always assume that mothers should dress simply, and that they should be fattened by the fact that they have to accept weight. However, they don’t know that when they play together, they will pat their belly like puberty girls, complaining that wearing skirts is not good at all. Then they comfort each other: Old aunts just have beer belly, it doesn’t matter.
When dads get older, they may not be just serious and old-fashioned. Who says they can’t play the trend of young people? In the
program, although He Huidong's father is less talkative, he is not vague when trying to play the balance bike. Even though he is almost 70 years old, the old man is more courageous than the young man to try new things, and even learn quickly and do easily.
Think about it carefully, actually has a lot of stereotypes in the hearts of children : Traditional parents in the East Asian cultural circle are always so steady and down-to-earth, hard-working, restrain their emotions, and take care of everything carefully.
Over time, they are obviously the closest people, but children must get rid of this identity. From the perspective of bystanders, they learned that parents who do not need to be parents have another personality .
This natural impression is partly because parents always consciously accommodate their children's pace during the process of raising children.
A very common phenomenon: when parents cook, they always prioritize what their children like to eat. The children may suddenly realize when they grow up that they don’t know what their parents like to eat.
Children are also used to it. As long as I can remember, my parents have existed as my parents.
Just like He Huidong said in the show, I have only seen photos of my father being with me, but I have never seen photos of my father being alone before.
We naturally think that our parents’ life pace is consistent with us, and we don’t feel that we have any understanding of their earlier life.
This is how many stereotypes come from: because we are the relationship between children and parents, we are used to this relationship between management and being managed, protecting and being protected.
So even the closest people to each other may not understand the subtle negligence best. There is a part of the
program, in which everyone has to give him a photo of a friend he took today to write down what he wants to say to him today.
The mother who received the photo was very happy. One reason was: When I went out to play , who would take photos with me as the main one?
People who have worked hard for most of their lives and are always worried about their children finally became the center of others' sight because of themselves. Of course they were happy.
Even if the child is already very filial, as long as he is in the relationship between parents and children, there are still many burdens that he will naturally bear.
On the other hand, parents in East Asian culture are also used to letting their children see their side as strong and responsible parents.
Some things are pushed into the hearts of parents and they don’t want their children to understand.
Although this is a Korean program, some emotional resonance Chinese people also understand - The identity of parents is like a wall full of security. If you don’t go around, parents will always consciously block some things outside.
Writer Xu Zhixiong said that he couldn't understand when he was a child, why life at home was already very difficult, and his family was all up to his mother, but she still liked to make ceramic art so much.
When he grew up, he realized how hard his mother had done to support her family and kept her children away. He also understood that the ceramic her mother liked might be the only comfort in her heavy life at that time.
singer Narsha has never seen her biological father, and her mother has to pull the child alone from the beginning.
Over the years, my parents have been living the hardest, and my children have become successful stars, but my parents still feel guilty: I have worked hard because my children have not met good parents.
That's it. Each of us has learned from our parents the first rule of being an adult: hides our sadness and difficulties from the closest people.
When parents have the appearance of their parents, they should be tolerant and strong; when children have the appearance of their children, they should be sensible and obedient. This is the parent-child relationship that parents teach us by words and deeds.
does not mean that such a model is good or bad, but one day, we will feel from some details that we don’t seem to know our parents as well.
is like the resonance we feel with the children of artists in the show:
We are used to being parents who have endless hearts for their children, always putting ourselves in a secondary position, and showing a comprehensive and steady side in the busy life.
But they can also love to play, love beauty, cheer for happy things, and learn new things in their sixties and live with a twenty-year-old mentality. In reality outside the program, the younger generation has begun to perceive this contradiction.
The young people in our society hope that their parents will not focus on their children, hoping that they can have a self-centered life and live a free and happy life;
But occasionally they will be surprised when they peek at their cognitive side and they are a little confused about how to balance such parents with their parents in their impressions.
This understanding mostly comes from "peeping": When children accidentally discover that their parents will like this kind of thing, do what only young people can do?
But in fact, this kind of lifestyle is completely fine - when my parents are old and retired, can they only have to live a life of helping their children take care of them every day, going back and forth to and from the vegetable market and dancing in the square every day? The deeper problem of
is that only when you grow up, children finally have the opportunity to look at their parents' lives and bypass that wall.
Only then will they have the opportunity to understand that they do not always need to be nervous for their children, nor are they saints. They also have shortcomings and desires. The so-called growth is also the process of "disenchanting" to parents .
There is another social problem that is gradually being valued: The younger generation who are slowly gaining the right to speak in the public opinion field actually knows very little about the old life.
The hobbies of middle-aged and elderly people, can the love of middle-aged and elderly people go beyond the traditional social concepts to draw circles for them? At present, public opinion not only does not give a positive answer, but it rarely takes it seriously.
Perhaps such a variety show from neighboring countries can help our young people start to think about it. Parents do not have the same identity as parents. When they grow old, it does not mean that their lives will leave and they must succumb to the "how should middle-aged and elderly people live" in the eyes of others.
The easiest step is to get to know your parents.
This sentence said by writer Xu Zhixiong on the show is the most resonant: I only know my mother, but I don’t know Kim Hyun-joo very much (my mother’s name).
Over the years, we have only understood parents as parents, but we have often neglected their lives as a complete person and as a parent.
If children are the first to try to remove the filters of parent-child relationship, get rid of those rules and regulations, and no longer take it for granted, some intergenerational conflicts may be able to find solutions, and both parties will have a better life.
After all, from the most realistic perspective, contemporary conflicts always originate from mutual barriers and self-righteousness. Only after equal understanding can understanding be born.
· END ·
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