depression in teenagers has become a problem that cannot be ignored.
It is obvious that this generation of children enjoys the best living conditions and is held by the whole family as a treasure. Why are their psychological problems so serious?
Is it because the parents did not do enough or too much?
Today brings a sharing from a mother. Let’s take a look at how this mother helps her child return to school in the face of depression and school disgusted with children.
Adolescent children run into anxious parents
In April 2021, the child was under moderate depression and took a leave of absence from the original school.
After more than a year of rest, we helped the child change to a school to go to the third year of junior high school.
Considering that the pressure in the third grade of junior high school is high and the foundation is not laid in the second grade of junior high school, first reads in the second grade of junior high school.
The first week of resumption of school was an online class, and the child was very uncomfortable. I allowed him to play with his mobile phone, do specimens, sleep, do homework, etc. in class, and he also communicated with the class teacher in advance.
Later he found that his classmates could answer, which activated his sense of accomplishment and rekindled his enthusiasm for learning.
I originally thought my child could learn step by step, but things took a turn.
In the English class on the second week, the English teacher found that he was new, so he asked:
"Where did you come from? Why did you transfer to school? Are you transferring to school because you didn't study well?..."
After being hit by the three consecutive questions directly at the soul, the child collapsed and said to the teacher, "My parents know about my situation, you can call me to ask my parents." The teacher did not listen to his request for help.
He was ashamed and did not want to tell his illness in public. He cried in class for more than 2 hours.
Later, the head teacher came and wanted to take the child out of the class. The English teacher disagreed and the child's second chance of being helped was also lost.
When school was about to end, the head teacher informed me of this and asked me to go to school to pick up the child, and told me about the situation in person. We talked for a long time and explained the child's situation in detail. We also asked the teacher to understand and give the child more opportunities.
The teacher reflected the child's situation, History of depression plus the minor storm in the classroom made the child unable to continue to follow in this class, and other classes in may not accept us, and the teacher asked us to go back and wait for the news.
Nervous parents = "The frightened second chick"
Waiting for the final message is like a year. In order to relieve anxiety, I chose to consult a professional psychology teacher.
In order to calm my anxiety, Mr. Mowei told a very interesting experiment in psychology of " Two Chicks ":
When you keep a close eye on a chick, it will be frightened to the ground and pretend to be dead. After about 1 minute, it jumped up and re-moved;
When scaring two chicks at the same time, they would be scared to pretend to be dead together, which lasted for about 5 minutes, which was longer than pretending to be dead alone;
When scaring one chick, the other one was letting the other wander around, but the scared chick just lay on the ground for a few seconds before jumping up.
Experimental results: The frightened chick will judge whether the environment they are in is safe by the chicks beside them.
Similarly, children are not directly frightened by things from outside, but are affected by the reactions of their parents or people around them, and they are fearful.
When my child encounters this storm when he is resuming school, if I always worry and care too much, in my anxious eyes, the information the child reads is:
"The situation is not good"
"If my mother can't handle it well, then the situation must be very bad"
Especially for adolescent children, their self-awareness develops rapidly. While wanting to be independent, they cannot escape from their parents' dependence.
The inner division and tear are even more contradictory —"I can't do it", "I'm too useless", "I can't see hope", "The world makes people desperate".
I am worried that my child will induce depression because of my anxiety.
is the "calm second chick" in the eyes of children
As parents, one of our important roles is to act as the "calm second chick" in front of children who are prone to nervousness.
strolled in the garden, using indifference to drive the scared chicks and quickly return to normal.
Teacher Mowei gave a trick to comfort the nervousness and fear of children.
Let the child look at my eyes: " See if there is any nervousness and fear in my eyes? "
This is much more effective than saying a hundred sentences "Don't be nervous and afraid" or saying a hundred great principles.
On the surface, I did not show any anxiety to my children, but I would only study and solve this problem in secret, so that my children can slowly recover their emotions at home.
Although I have greeted the class teacher, I cannot avoid other challenges and difficulties encountered by my child in school. I have to use a relaxed and open-minded attitude to play the role of the "calm second chick" -
" harm, it's no big deal, everything is OK, I will go to school when you recover well "
I told my child that nervousness, panic, and uneasiness are all normal emotions of people.
Finally, after continuous negotiations with the school, the school allowed the child to return to the third year of junior high school to continue to go to school.
The child was very optimistic and said to me, "This is OK, bad things may turn out to be good. I still like the third-year junior high school teachers."
Then he said leisurely, "As long as we are together, just do it well."
In this way, the child has gone through the first stage of returning to school.
Anxiety emotions will be contagious, and a calm mind will also be.
When depression strikes, nudge the child, making him believe that there is no big problem.
also makes him feel that we are always his strong backing and will provide him with the support.
More questions and cracking methods for adolescent children are mentioned in the "Essential Edition of Adolescence and Aversion to Learning Cracking Training Camp". Interested parents can listen~
