One weekend, my mother called me early in the morning and said sourly, "That XXX is married, and his mother came to give wedding candies and souvenirs."
Listening to my mother's depressed and sad tone, I thought that another person had compromised and chose to marry in a scheming manner, and I felt not very comfortable.
So he ended the phone with haha, and then silently opened Ang Lee's classic "Wedding Banquet" .
result made people feel sad.
1. Compromise and form marriage
Ang Lee, who grew up in traditional Chinese culture, may be the only front-line director who can connect Eastern and Western cultures with each other. In the movie "Wedding Banquet", in order to balance his feelings with the expectations of his parents and family, Gao Weitong (played by Zhao Wenxuan), a gay man living in Manhattan, decided to make a compromise and marry the illegal immigrant female painter Gu Weiwei (played by Jin Sumei).
Before this, Wei Tong and his gay lover Simon (Mitchell Lichtenstein) had already tried their best to hide their parents.
Gao's father ( Lang Xiong ) was once a majestic general of the National Army and a dignified commander who commanded more than 10,000 people. He is now weak but has a hot temper and is becoming more and more anxious about Weitong's marriage.
Gao Mother ( Gui Yalei ) signed up for a high-end mate selection club for Weitong. As a result, Weitong asked the woman to be 178 in her mate selection requirements, knowing that the woman must be 178 in height, knowing multiple languages, having two doctoral degrees, and having to understand opera...
delayed and escaped, deliberately made a dilemma, and tried all the energy she could do, but she still couldn't escape the marriage disaster.
Fit marriage is obviously a good way to kill two birds with one stone - you can not only send parents who are forced to marry, but also help Gu Weiwei get a green card. But everything that followed was becoming increasingly uncontrollable.
Weitong thought that he only needed to take the time to get a certificate and everyone would end the battle happily, but his parents rushed to New York City excitedly and insisted on organizing the wedding for their son.
After a noisy pure Chinese wedding banquet, under the influence of the bridal chambers of relatives and friends and alcohol, Weitong actually had sex with Weiwei and made her pregnant. This induces an emotional crisis between Weitong and Simon.
In desperation, Gao's father was sent to the hospital for a stroke, and Weiwei also decided to have an abortion. Sitting outside the ward, Weitong, who was in a panic, showed off the fact that he was gay and his mother. After hearing this, my mother asked Weitong not to tell Gao's father.
After that, Gao's father also confessed to Simon that he could understand some English, so he actually knew the truth.
"I see, I listen, I understand", and then hide it without sending it. This is the way of doing things by an old Chinese father. So Gao's father also asked Simon not to tell Gao's mother about this.
The conflict between the modern concept of love and marriage and the Confucian traditional concept of ethical family has caused unpredictable impacts on the emotions of the family.
2. Lies and Decent
In 1993, when "The Wedding Banquet", even in the United States, where society and culture have become very open, homosexuality is not a universal acceptance by the public.
Although this is the case, compared with the obsession with the inheritance of clan blood in traditional Chinese culture, staying in the United States is of course a more comfortable choice.
Gao's mother wanted to keep the child in Weiwei's belly and tried every means to stop Weiwei from going out for an abortion. Gao's father also wanted to hold his grandson, so he kept pretending to be deaf and turned a blind eye to the conflict that occurred under his nose.
Gu Weiwei is obviously a pure modern woman, well-educated, has a profound artistic cultivation, knows nothing about housework, and pretends to be a good wife and mother, and needs Simon to cover up.
Of course, she also yearned for her own marriage and love, so she cried unceasingly while Gao's father told his new daughter-in-law to instruct her. For such a woman, it is not a sad thing to choose to marry a man she doesn't love in exchange for a green card.
Weitong's gay lover Simon's tolerance for his lover's family and cultural background is simply moving.He tried every means to achieve decentness between Weitong and his family, and suggested that Weitong get married, and would have a skillful Chinese diet and meals to protect Weitong and Weiwei, prepare a meeting gift for Gao's parents, and help Gao's father recover...
In addition to being a male gender, he is almost a perfect "daughter-in-law" character.
Everyone knows it, but everyone is careful not to talk about it.
The Analects of Confucius says: "The father hides for the son, and the son hides for the father, and it is in it." Concealing the hiding of relatives and friends is a kind of benevolence and righteousness, a part of Chinese traditional moral concepts, and a way for traditional Chinese families to maintain superficial peace and decency.
Wedding has become a precise calculation, and each party carefully weighs and plans carefully, and finally makes a "wedding banquet" that seems perfect, but in fact everyone is scarred.
3. Tradition and Completion
At the banquet, a foreign guest was shocked at the wedding ceremony staged and sighed: "I thought Chinese people were silent mathematical geniuses."
For Chinese people, tossing newcomers to make wedding chambers is a tradition, a "national quintessence", and must be carried forward overseas.
So, Director Lee, who played a guest appearance, said a word to the point:
"You're witnessing the results of 5000 years of sexual repression. (You are seeing the result of five thousand years of sexual repression.)"
The movie chose a tactful comedy ending: Gu Weiwei decided to keep the child, and Simon also agreed to keep the other father who is the child. When Gao's father said goodbye to Simon, "Thank you for taking care of Weitong ", and said to Weiwei, "Highieh for the Gao family. "
Leaving the child is to fulfill the Gao family's desire to continue their bloodlines. Agreeing with Simon is to fulfill his son's feelings. For the Gao family's parents, this is a happy ending that looks the best of both worlds.
But Weiwei was crying, Gao’s father and mother were crying, Weitong and Simon also had heavy faces, and everyone was full of sadness.
If the Gao family's parents really think that it is more important for their son to get married and have children to be happy than him, they would definitely not have such an expression. If Wei Wei really felt that getting a green card at any cost was more important than her love and marriage, she would probably not cry so sadly.
It is said that Ang Lee's "Wedding Banquet" is a movie that all gay men will watch with their parents when they come out. But after watching it, I felt very sad and understood why to this day, most gay men dare not come out nor watch such movies with their parents.
Because I suddenly remembered that when I was talking about homosexuality, my mother said lightly: It doesn’t matter, homosexuals can also get married or have children.
They probably wouldn't think Weitong and Simon are wronged, nor would they think Weiwei is pitiful as a co-wife. They might even think she is lucky to be able to marry such a family and solve the problem of green card. This story is very perfect and is a comedy.
Even though Weitong and Simon were reluctant to insert another woman into their relationship, Weiwei obviously yearned for her true love and marriage.
Between love and tradition, everyone is clearly complaining.
