I have compiled an article about foreigners complaining about the strange English names of Chinese people on the American Q&A website Quora. It is widely circulated on the Internet. The number of readings nationwide has exceeded 99.99 million, which is even better than the era when I don’t have an uncle. If you haven’t read it, you can follow me and send the keyword “English name” to get it. If you have read it, you can also read it again. Let’s push the reading volume of this article to 100 million. Oh, oh.
gets back to the point. The reason for mentioning this is because someone sent me a link today. It turns out that on Quora's Tianchao high-quality imitation version of Zhihu, someone has been discussing this issue a long time ago. Moreover, when Chinese people complain about the Chinese, the artillery fire is really much more intense. As expected, the Chinese are the most active in fighting against Chinese. In contrast, the examples given by foreigners on Quora are simply meaningless.
I selected some of the more exciting answers and sorted them out below. All answers are sorted by the number of likes, and the original author is not specified one by one. If you are interested, please search for this question on Zhihu to view it.
High-energy warning ahead, please bring your own lightning rod.
1. More than ten years ago, a small employee of our company gave himself an English name called Aladdin as soon as he joined the company. A few years later, the small employee became a manager-level figure. In desperation, the company leader ordered him to change his more formal English name. After several years, the small employee finally became a company leader. So, on the day he became the leader, he changed his name back to Aladdin.
2. One day, our department recruited a new employee from an outside company. His English name was Jerry. Not long after, we accidentally found that his old company's business card had his previous English name written on it, called Tom.
3. There is a person in our department called Jacob. When he first came, a child asked him weakly after the meeting, whether your English name was pronounced "Chicken Kebu" or "Duck Kebu". I saw that the man calmly answered, whatever, it was all poultry anyway.
4. One year, our department has promoted two managers, one named Jane Yang and the other named Jane Yin. You said one is true yang and the other is true yin. How could this life be easy?
5. Every year when the company recruits new people, I will carefully look at the English names of the new people. When I see Sabrina, Lillian, and Arthur, I will give priority to recruiting them, because my previous bosses all called these names. Whenever I call Sabrina, I help me clean the table, it feels very happy!
6. There are quite a lot of jokes about Jacob. Once, a colleague told me a joke. The male protagonist was Jack Bu. At that time, I thought, why is there someone’s surname Bu? Could it be “Pu”? It was not until many years later that I realized that the joke my colleague told that day was about Jacob at the table next to me...
7. There were also some strange names. A girl’s English name was Seven. Once I heard him call the secretary of another branch, picked up the phone and said, “Eleven, I am Seven from the Shanghai branch…” These two people are really good, Seven-Eleven.
8, and there are also people who pretended to fill out their resume before entering the company, and their name was Li Moumou, and they insisted on making themselves more fashionable, so they filled in Sandylee in the English name column. The company's HR was originally stupid, so the English name in the system later became the strange Sandylee Li. What's worse is that she was later called Suntory.
9, and there is a similar one. A colleague called Toby Meng, so I called him Tyru. Later, I don’t know who suddenly remembered that there was a leader in the department named Toby Xu. A female colleague suddenly jumped out and said, “Let’s call him very weak.” Later, every time I saw this leader, I felt very nervous.
10, plus a Shanghai dialect version: I'm just going to want to have a person named Paul Wu. A friend of Iraq met him in a hypermarket and shouted in surprise: Hey Paul Wu, how can I do it?
11. In the past, there was an assistant named Jenny in the company, but since everyone had an accent in English, I kept listening to her as a manager and called her the manager for half a year until the day when the truth was discovered.
12. The name is Jin, the English name is King, and the surname is Kong. King Kong.
13. A colleague called Debug.
14. When the Chinese New Year is approaching, a clerk at Bookworm Cafe suddenly started chatting with me.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"Shandong." I'm a little impatient.
"I am also from Shandong!" He was very happy, "How do you go home during the Chinese New Year?"
"I have bought a ticket."
"I really envy you! Tickets are too difficult to buy! I found 4 scalpers, and the original price is more than 200 yuan, all of which cost more than 1,000 yuan. Later, I finally asked someone to give a gift to a small official, so I bought it. Before I could get it... I don't know which day it was."
I suddenly felt very sad, and I was a fellow villager, so I asked him, "What's your name?"
He thought for at least 2 minutes, and felt that he was struggling between several names, and finally said, "Call me Steve!"
In this case, I think the name Steve is very strange.
15. I have a colleague named Shang, named Di, and his English name is God.
16. There is a colleague who has known each other for a long time. His English name is Loading.
17. My client's name is Settings. The first time I heard this name, I thought I had heard it wrong... When I saw the business card, I really called Settings. It's a great customer. Yesterday I met another customer called Boring... I wrote him an email and said Dear Boring...
18. I forgot which company's public relations, and my elder sister's name is LV. True thing. Compared to her, those who call Tiffany and Gucci are all floating clouds. If this person’s surname is Lu, his full name is Lv Lv? Lv²?
19. I have seen a girl named Animal, and we all call her a beast. Later, she wanted to strangle herself to death.
20. There is a strong buddy called wordless, so we all kindly called him my lace.
21. There was a female colleague named Rita in the previous company. Everyone didn’t feel anything strange at all. Until one day, a new colleague came and asked us in the bathroom: Is that girl really called "Rita"? We instantly petrified.
22. A female colleague named Belinda in the previous company, but she was called: Not working.
23. My English name is paul. I didn’t feel that this name was bad. One day, a colleague shouted in the office area: Brother Pao, your courier. Later, I found that many female colleagues looked at me strangely.
24. A colleague wrote about his child on Weibo, and often called him tofu, sometimes called him Wang Tofu! I was a little puzzled at one time - tofu? Can this be called a name? Although it is a nickname, it is a bit casual. Until the day before yesterday, when she wrote about her son on Weibo, my doubts were solved immediately - it turned out that Wang Doufu was the Chinese version of Wonderful! It is both used for one sound, both Chinese and English, and is unique and ingenious, and is famous for its name. It is amazing.
25. A colleague in the company, because he was named Qiang, called himself Strong. After two days, a new colleague came, and he actually called Stronger.
26. For special purpose, use numbers as names. This can be said to be the fuckingest one I have ever seen, and it may be even more fucking than naming randomly. Over the past few years, I have seen probably a few: Two (Ruan Xiaoer), Five (Ruan Xiaowu), Seven (Ruan Xiaoqi), Seven-UP (Seven...Happy).
27. When studying in the foreign school, the foreign teacher asked a strong man in the class if he had an English name. The strong man replied: Toyota. At that time, everyone was a first-year college student and didn’t know each other yet, so I was deeply impressed since then. Later, after getting familiar with the foreign teacher, I talked about this after having sex and chatting, and asked him about his thoughts. The foreign teacher asked us, what do you think if I name myself "Runny Nose"? At that time, we thought this metaphor was very inappropriate, because although Toyota is not an orthodox English name, it is also considered a Japanese name, right? Later I learned that the foreign teacher alluded to the children from another class he led, whose English name was Onlyone.
28. A friend used to name himself Kendonald and forced me to change it to McTucky, but he didn't understand.
29. My surname is Yuan, and I have never had an English name. I suddenly thought, it would be great to call Billion, Billion Yuan.
30. I watched it on Weibo. The surname is Long and his name is Dick. The English business card is so hard that I can't look directly at it.
31. Because my surname is Ma, I have always used the English name pony. As a result, when I was in college, foreign teachers told me that in the UK, pony generally refers to those pet horses raised by rich girls... very embarrassing.After graduation, I found out that Tencent boss was also using Pony, so I felt relieved.
32. There was a classmate in the dormitory before. Their English names were Toto, Toyota, Toshiba.
33. Naming yourself is nothing. The most amazing thing is to name the front-line service staff. In the front desk of the unit, there were two old aunts in their 50s. The office colleagues named them, one was Stephanie and the other was Annie. They were both unanimous. Another time, I was waiting for a courier and asked the other party why the courier hadn't come yet. The other party replied: "Sorry, courier Romeo just took the documents away. He is on the way!" Why did they name the courier Romeo? Coincidentally, the technician in a massage parlor is called Ophelia, my god. Are everyone turning through Shakespeare's books to name these working people? ?
34. It turns out that the company leader, BugLiu, is really unbearable for development.
35. The pinyin of my name is Yanan, and then someone asked me if it was Yan'an.
36. It turned out that there was a lobby manager named Lover, but he was later ordered to change it.
37. My English name was randomly translated into the dictionary when I was in middle school. Santonin, a roundworm medicine. I think it sounds good and I have used it for several years. Now I still use this for various IDs on the Internet. I never rename it when registering, which is great.
38. An English teacher once went to a judge for an English speech contest. There was a 5-year-old girl in the children's group who came to prepare for her speech, and the judges must "greetings". The judges include Chinese and foreigners.
A judge: what's your name?
Girl: My English name is Pussy (US slang: female genitals = B).
At this time, a foreign judge began to calm down and asked, "Sweety, why did you name yourself 'Pussy'?"
Girl: Because I love cats and my teacher tells me pussy means little cat.
Foreign judge: Sweety, if you like cat you can name yourself kitty but not pussy.
Girl: But I love this name.
The foreign judge gave up, and the Chinese judge expressed his confusion and signaled the girl to start the speech. As a result, the girl's first sentence completely let go of all the foreign judges. The girl said: "hi everybody, my name is Pussy, I love cock."
39. A friend named Zhang Xiaowei, so she was called Shall we? Shall we go to the zoo?
40. A friend named Dai Mengxuan, so she was called Demonstration.
41. The brother is Recycle. The younger brother is Reuse.
42. A long time ago, there was a colleague named Null. On the first day he joined the company, the company's personnel system collapsed.
43. I have a good friend who likes Shuke and Beta when I was a child. Later, when the middle school English class came, the foreign teacher asked everyone to hand in their English name. She proudly wrote Sucker.
44. When she was in college, she was a tutor for a child. He said that his name was Tom Two. How could there be such a weird name? "In English class, the teacher asked me to choose an English name. I chose Tom, but there was already a classmate named Tom. The teacher said you just call him Tom Two, right?"
I... Is there no other name in the world except Tom! OK, I'll call Tom three!
45, Paul Wang, is there any cannon king?
46. My classmate, I don’t know what he thought, was named Adolf. Every time he introduced himself to foreigners, his eyes were frightened.
47. A classmate in the English department of the dormitory next door, whose Chinese name is David, and his English name has to be David. He said, others would joke - if I didn't call him David, others would say that you called David, wouldn't you call him David? If my name is David, others will say that David is called David in Chinese, but you won’t change the English one! I'm so upset! I thought about this English name in a whole high school, okay?
48. There is a fat man named Spounds in English...
49. My high school classmate, whose school and ID card are named Sun Tzubing, also known as Sun Wen, so the English name is One Sun, which means Sun Wen pronounces it reversely.
50, a college classmate, a man called himself Babyface, and a man called himself Guns N' Roses. The English teacher said he was helpless.
51. My current colleague is called Nemo in English. Well, it’s already very thunderous. His final skill is, his surname is Yu.
52. There is a colleague named Xu Te, so it’s called Shit.
53. I happened to be watching "Jiangcheng". The following is an excerpt.
54. A certain man, whose surname is Xiao, his English name is Jiby, and his full name is Jiby Xiao. Although I knew it wasn't pronunciation as I thought, I still smiled evilly.
55. The English name given to him by Chinese white-collar workers is quite "creative" and is simply as good as they want. For example, my wife has a colleague in the company, whose Chinese name is Cheng Xu, so she gave herself an English name called Program, and she was proud of herself and would not change it even if she beat her to death. In addition, many people like to call Dick, which feels very strange. There are many more, such as calling yourself Dam (it's so indecent to read), and the others can't be remembered at once, so I'll add them when I think about it.
56. In college English class, a female classmate proudly said that her English name was Virgin.
57. When I was in college, there was a girl named Tan Lifen in the dormitory next door. When the girls in our dormitory were circulating gossip, they called her Telephone.
58. Many years ago, there was a male colleague who had a rough appearance and a twisted personality. He could use Ruhua's image as a reference. He gave the English name Will, and his surname was Tang. Later, "Lust and Caution" came out that year, and at my suggestion, everyone called him Tang Wei.
59. My friend's name is Ji Dan, and his English name is Egg.
60. His high school classmate is Han Guangrui, and his English name is Hungry.
61. When he was in college, he accompanied a foreign teacher to teach in a college. He met two girls, one was Darling and the other was Honey. Try calling.
62. I gave myself a huge English name in my second year of junior high school: Shadow · Mirror · Lyn · Ann · Lucifer · Sharp.
63. My name is Save Money, Jason Chan.
64. After seeing so many happy examples, I remember how I got my English name at the time. When I graduated from junior high school, I was popular to write classmates. There was an English name very popular. I found a modern English-Chinese dictionary, and there was an appendix at the end which was a list of almost all English names. I closed my eyes and shook the color of the sequel first, then shake the rows, and finally shake the rows. I found Reynold. At that time, I wrote Reynold on almost every book of my book and carved it on the table and the wall. I was reported. The advantage was that half of the school knew that my name was Reynold because the punishment was that a man carved Reynold on public property.
65. There used to be a classmate named Water, and now there is a colleague named Fish. If they want to know each other, will they know
(reprinted in this article)
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