Text | Su Xiaobei
Every couple who loves each other, when facing marriage, must run towards happiness. Both of them want to stay with each other until they grow old and grow old together.
However, reality is often too cruel. No matter how deep the love between the two parties is, as long as the marriage is not carefully managed, it is possible for each other to go in different directions in the marriage.
As we often say, things are unpredictable. In our lives, there are too many unstable factors that can affect the direction of marriage. Even if two people don't want to face it, they can't overcome the cruel reality.
When two people wear away their relationship due to inevitable unstable factors, their only ending is to end their marriage.
Of course, there are some couples who will make do with their children because of their children. However, in the following days, in addition to facing each other's coldness, they also have to face each other's indifference, which is tantamount to a kind of torture that goes deep into the bones.
In fact, if there is really no love between husband and wife, there is no need to forcefully maintain it. As for the children, as long as two people can often use a positive attitude and let the children understand that they still love them even if they are separated, then the end of the marriage will not cause great harm to the children.
It is true that after divorce, most of the couples will face remarriage.
Regarding the issue of remarriage, some people may think that the first marriage is not happy, so the second marriage should be happy. Because, after experiencing the failure of a marriage, both parties know how to manage their emotions in marriage and how to get along peacefully with each other.
However, this is not the case. Especially when both parties have children, even if the two people can develop feelings, there will still be a layer of interest between the hearts.
Of course, some couples will indeed find true love in their second marriage and support each other until they grow old, just like An Jie and Jiang Defu in "Parents Love".
Actually, there is a difference between An Jie and Jiang Defu, because An Jie got married for the first time, while Jiang Defu got married again. Because Anjie was never married, her heart towards Jiang Defu was sincere from the beginning.
However, for those who have been divorced once and have children, whether they are women or men, few of them can express their sincerity to each other.
Therefore, sometimes the second marriage may not be happier than the first marriage. Below are three middle-aged men I interviewed. They talked about the differences between their two marriages, and also revealed the biggest difference between their ex-wives and their remarried wives.
I wonder what you will think after reading it? In other words, after reading it, will you remarry?
Mr. Zhang, 40 years old, has been remarried for two years.
Mr. Zhang is the first man I interviewed. His marriage to his ex-wife ended three years ago. One year in middle age, he couldn’t get over the sadness of divorce, so he never looked for another marriage partner.
The reason why his first marriage failed was his ex-wife. His ex-wife was a woman who couldn't control herself. She often chatted with others online. Although it didn't seem like an ambiguous relationship, she always liked to tell strangers about her family affairs.
Moreover, his ex-wife has always been very resistant towards the elderly. No matter how much his parents paid for them, his ex-wife always felt that this was what parents should do.
Many people say that Mr. Zhang’s ex-wife is an unruly and unfilial person, but Mr. Zhang does not refute it. However, I have to say that she is still devoted to her children.
Although Mr. Zhang’s parents usually take care of the children, Mr. Zhang’s ex-wife will also fulfill the responsibilities of a mother. Moreover, when the two were divorcing, Mr. Zhang's ex-wife also tried to fight for custody of the children.
However, Mr. Zhang had evidence that his ex-wife was sorry for him, so he left the house.
After a year of adjustment, Mr. Zhang decided to start looking for a new partner and start a second marriage at the urging of his parents.
Originally, Mr. Zhang was full of confidence. He believed that the reason why his previous marriage failed was because he found a restless wife. So before his second marriage, he first asked the other party to be honest.
As Mr. Zhang wished, he did find a woman who was honest and willing to live with him. Moreover, his remarried wife was also very respectful and filial towards the elderly.
However, the only difference is that she is not good to Mr. Zhang's son. She was not like other stepmothers who treated her stepson secretly. She openly told Mr. Zhang: "Let's get married and live together. I am living with you, not with another woman's son, so you don't have to count on me." "Be good to your ex-wife's son."
This may seem like a jealous statement, but for remarried families, it is inevitable for both parties to have children. If you don't open your heart to accept the other party's child, then how can the other party be willing to accept your child? ?
Of course, there is also a kind of stupid man, just like Chen Junsheng in " My First Half of Life ", who ignores his own children and raises other people's children. But Mr. Zhang is not Chen Junsheng. His request is very simple. He hopes that his remarried wife can treat his son better, so he will also be willing to treat the children brought by his remarried wife.
Mr. Zhang said that he has been remarried for two years now, and his remarried wife has never treated the children half the better, even if it means buying a pair of socks.
Let’s talk about Mr. Zhang’s ex-wife. Although the custody of the child is in Mr. Zhang’s hands, she still has the right to visit her son as the biological mother. Her attitude towards her children is the same as before the divorce, and she can always do good things wholeheartedly.
Mr. Zhang said that for a moment he regretted divorcing his ex-wife. However, looking at the past two years, the remarried wife has done well in other aspects except treating her son badly. Even his parents said that this remarried daughter-in-law is a thousand times better than the previous daughter-in-law.
Mr. Li, 43 years old, has been remarried for three years.
Mr. Li is the second man I interviewed. His evaluation of his remarried wife and his ex-wife is that the remarried wife is not as devoted to her as the ex-wife.
First of all, children are secondary. Two people have children, and in order to achieve complementary harmony, they are still willing to be good to each other's children. Also, with two children at home, the children have one more playmate for each other.
What Mr. Li said is not that he is single-minded. In fact, his remarried wife is not as good as his ex-wife and has sacrificed more for him.
Mr. Li’s first marriage lasted for thirteen years. During these thirteen years, his ex-wife had been with him all the way from when he was poor to nothing. However, when he became successful and prosperous, he found that there were many less topics to talk about between him and his ex-wife. , even to the point of being disgusted with each other.
In this way, Mr. Zhang, who was notorious as a "heartless man", abandoned his bad wife and remarried his current wife.
Mr. Li's ex-wife used to live with him wholeheartedly. While he worked hard for his career outside, his ex-wife stayed at home and took care of the house, never giving him any worries.
But after Mr. Li made a lot of money, he began to participate in the life of the "upper class", and then found that his "bad wife" was more and more different from himself, so he got tired of it.
Not long after his divorce, Mr. Li found a divorced woman on the blind date market who he thought was a good match for him, who is now his remarried wife.
After the two got married, his remarried wife told him directly that she would not suffer hardships with Mr. Li. As long as Mr. Li could provide a stable life, she would live with him with peace of mind. If Mr. Li goes bankrupt one day, or No matter what accident happened, she would leave him without hesitation.
These words may seem very callous, but to Mr. Li, isn't this the same way he treated his ex-wife?
So, what Mr. Li is facing now is a cruel side.
He also experienced how his ex-wife felt when she left him. It was not just a knife stabbed into his heart, but more like "deleting" the good things the other party had given her with just one click.
Mr. Li’s current entanglement can be regarded as his own fault.
A woman who is willing to endure hardships with you will always be the best one in your life.
It is a pity that Mr. Li is just like the Supreme Treasure in "Journey to the West", he did not cherish the Zixia who loved her.
Mr. Hou, 38 years old, has been remarried for half a year.
Mr. Hou is the third man I interviewed. His view on remarried wives and ex-wives is that remarried wives are more realistic than ex-wives.
He is similar to Mr. Li. His ex-wife has been silently by his side since he had nothing. The reason why he divorced his ex-wife was not because of his ex-wife, but because of his ex-wife’s natal family.
Although Mr. Hou's ex-wife is a stable person, his ex-wife's natal family members are more difficult to maintain than the last. They often make things difficult for Mr. Hou and often slander him in front of relatives and friends.
Every time Mr. Hou complained to his ex-wife about her natal family, her ex-wife would quarrel with him and blame him for being stingy. This may not sound like much at first, but gradually Mr. Hou couldn't help but wonder, does his ex-wife, like her family, look down on him?
Just like that, Mr. Hou filed for divorce out of anger.
When he got married to his ex-wife, he didn't spend a penny on the bride price. After getting married, his ex-wife never bothered with him about money.
But nowadays, the remarried wife is different. She always talks about money. Sometimes Mr. Hou even wonders whether the remarried wife wants to live with him or with money.
Regarding this, the remarried wife did not deny it, and said that the real world is like this, and she just lives a more real life.
In fact, no matter how you say it, when a couple lives together, the original spouse is more sincere. Even if the original spouse no longer considers each other, at least they still have to consider the children they share.
But remarried couples are different. They both had failed marriages. They hid their disguises from the beginning. They both have their own children. They were destined to be separated from each other from the beginning.
Of course, not all remarriages are bad. However, since everyone has chosen to remarry, their goals are the same, and there is no need to hide their secrets from each other.
As the saying goes: sincerity is exchanged for sincerity.
If both remarried couples can be sincere, then their lives will definitely become more and more prosperous and happier.
Whether it is an original marriage or a remarriage, it requires two people to work together. One person can never bear the responsibility of two people.
Therefore, in marriage, the husband and wife must understand and support each other. Only in this way can you grow together.
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Today’s topic:
Do you think remarried couples can live with each other wholeheartedly?
welcome to leave a message to share your views.
