Introduction
The word "marriage" comes from the article " awakening the world and injustice" written by Feng Menglong . In this article, there is a sentence in this article: "Yuying's daughter has such a beautiful talent, and she will not be willing to marry him out the future; she will visit a talented and knowledgeable scholar to marry into her family and wait for his wife to sing a harmonious relationship, isn't it good?" Since then, the word "marriage" has been introduced.
The so-called "marriage into a family", also known as "being a son-in-law" or "being in a family" is the case where a man and a woman get married after marriage.
In ancient my country, we paid attention to the inheritance of the family line. When only girls but no brothers, we would recruit an "become a son-in-law" to continue the incense.
In ancient times, people were very taboo to marry into girls’ families. A historian said that in ancient times, when a man married into a girl's house, the man had to change his surname and name, and he had to follow the woman's surname.
The ancients believed that surname is a symbol that "signifies" family blood ties. This "symbol" was passed down from ancestors. If you change your surname, it means betrayal of your ancestors and insulting your image. Based on this, the people have a saying that "don't change their surnames when sitting, and do not change their name when doing things." Once the man gets married into the girl's house and changes his name, the man will feel very humiliated. Since this humiliation will accompany a man's life, many men are unwilling to marry into their daughter's house.
By the Qin and Han dynasties, the form of marriage into the family has changed. After a man married into the family, he could not change his name, but the rules for his children to follow the surname of the family have not changed. Since some people believe that children follow the woman's name means that the man has broken his "root", many men are still unwilling to marry into the woman's house.
However, because some families have more male students and their families are poor, male students cannot get married, so some men have to marry into their men's homes.
A sociologist pointed out that : Marriage and Marriage of a man and Marriage of a woman are just two different marriage models. The result of this model is that two people live together so that they can have children. There is nothing special.
But the reality is: Since people are influenced by traditional concepts and social values, there is still a certain difference between the marriage form of men and women and the "female marriage and men". From a psychological point of view, men who get married may have to bear greater mental pressure and seem to have to put in more effort in their daily lives.
An expert in marriage issues pointed out that Generally speaking, marriages in marriage are mostly affected by some objective factors, and there will be a certain asymmetry between the two families, which is a marriage model adopted by people to seek balance. Since this model deviates from the traditional marriage model, marriage models in marriage have certain special characteristics compared with traditional marriage models.
, the marriage expert, then pointed out that in the marriage, the man who married into the family not only needs to bear greater family responsibilities, but also needs to adapt to the life habits of his wife and his wife's family, so the man who married into the family also needs to bear some "extra responsibilities".
A psychologist pointed out that when a man must marry into a girl's house, in addition to the man himself, the man's parents also have some psychological pressure. The psychological pressure of men's parents mainly comes from self-blame. They always think that it is because they are incompetent that their sons are helpless and married into the girl's house. Therefore, when the man is about to marry into the mother's parents, the man's parents will feel very uncomfortable.
, on September 28, something like this happened somewhere in Hunan.
incident
A young man from a certain place in Hunan, Liu Moumin is 27 years old this year. Because Liu Moumin's family is relatively poor and there are three brothers, when they are both married, they have to buy a house in the city. Therefore, Liu Moumin had no choice but to "marriage into a marriage" and go to the woman's house to be a "son-in-law".
Yesterday was the happy day for Liu Moumin to marry into his family.The moment Liu Moumin was about to go out with the woman, Liu Moumin's mother grabbed him. His mother said to him, "Son! From now on, you will be someone else's person, and you will never be able to take care of you anymore. Mom is incompetent and can't marry you. Mom is sorry for you! Let mom comb your hair again! After combing your hair, you will forget your mother!" After Liu Moumin's mother said, everyone present cried.
The above is a general process of this event.
When many netizens learned about this incident from the Internet, netizens started a heated discussion.
Netizen voice
How can netizens feel: At the moment when Liu Moumin was about to go out, although it was not a moment of separation from life and death, for Liu Moumin's mother, she would feel that her son will be a member of the woman's family from now on, and she is only a relative of herself. After all, her son is the flesh that fell from her body, and she is a person connected by blood. When her biological flesh and blood are helplessly turned into relatives, she naturally won’t feel good. Based on this, she has a deep self-blame, blaming herself for not being able to marry a wife for her son, thus turning her biological flesh into relatives. Therefore, she would say, "Forget Mother" to make up for her "debt" to her son.
Netizens from Sarajevo : It is also a helpless thing to marry into a girl’s house. Any parents are unwilling to let their son marry into a girl’s house. However, the reality is very cruel! I hope Liu Moumin will not blame his parents. It is also a reluctant thing for them to let you marry into a marriage!
In short, netizens have a lot of discussions.
Lao Hu’s opinion
First, marrying into a girl’s family just changed the way of marriage
Our ancestors once experienced the “ clan society ” period. In the early stages of clan society, humans adopted matriarchal clan social system . The so-called "matriarchal clan" means that all members of each clan have a common grandmother, and all clan members follow the grandmother's surname. "Lüshi Chunqiu·Shijun Lantern" once said, "In the past, there was no king. The people gathered together and lived in groups. They knew their mother but not their father. There was no difference between relatives, brothers, husband and wife, and men and women, and there was no way to be the elders and lower, and there was no courtesy of advancing and retreating." From this point of view, our ancestors all have the same surname as our mother.
Since our ancestors can all have the same surname as our mother, how can our children today not follow their mother's surname? Probably, it's totally OK.
In fact, getting married into a girl’s family is just a different marriage method. All men who get married into a girl’s family do not need to feel inferior or worry, no matter which surname the child is with! A surname and name are just a "symbol" or "sign", what's the big deal?
Second, Liu Moumin's mother does not need to feel guilty for herself. According to the law, parents, as long as they raise their children until they are 18 years old, they have fulfilled their obligations. Based on the law, Liu Moumin's mother's task has been completed long ago. Liu Moumin's wife is not a necessary obligation for her parents. Why does Liu Moumin's mother blame herself?
Lao Hu thought: Even though Liu Moumin married into his daughter's house, he was still the mother's child and not a relative. When his parents are old, he still has the obligation to support his mother. As Liu Moumin's mother, there is no need to worry that his son will become a relative.
What do you think?
