Today is the first day of work in the new year of 2023. Please use laughter to tell the people around you that you are stronger today than yesterday. Paying attention to humorous jokes will put a smile on your face every day.
On the sixth day of the Lunar New Year, my sister-in-law came to my door and handed me a rabbit.
"My brother asked me to give it to you." After that, he picked up the suitcase and left in a hurry.
At 11:30 noon, my husband called back from the work: "Have you received the rabbit?"
turned on the speakerphone and answered: "Yes."
Husband: "My sister is on a business trip and let us take care of it for a few days. Can I feed the rabbit some vegetable leaves when I have free time?"
Feed some vegetable leaves and stare at the pot from the vegetable market. After slaughtering braised rabbit meat for a long time, I also prepared some green onions and coriander...
02
The boss came to the company to inspect and saw several female employees putting on makeup, so he scolded them. The manager scolded the manager: "Why don't you care if someone puts on makeup during work hours?"
The manager said nothing. After the boss left, he said to the female employees: "Don't listen to him, everyone should continue to put on makeup." Suddenly, the office burst into cheers.
Then, the manager added: "If you are so ugly, you are not allowed to put on makeup, and you are not allowed to live."
There was silence in the office...
03
html Six years later, I went to work. During the morning meeting, the boss handed out a large stack of red envelopes one by one, except for the small money owed.
Xiao Qian asked in confusion: "Boss, why don't I have one?"
Boss: "You will come to the office to pick it up later."
After sending it, Xiao Qian followed the boss. Ban entered the office, and the boss handed Xiao Qian a big envelope: "This is a red envelope for you. I was late on the first day, so you don't have to come to work anymore..."
04
One day, the scammer carried out a lottery-winning phone scam, but unexpectedly the call was placed on Xiao Li's mobile phone, who was working at the police station.
After discovering the scam, Xiao Li deliberately prolonged the call time so that his colleagues could use high-tech tracking phone signals to pinpoint the scammer's location. An hour later, Xiao Li and his colleagues caught the liar. When he was caught, the liar said very harshly: "Why did you catch me?"
Xiao Li smiled and said: "The call can be called directly to my mobile phone, you can be considered a 'winner'!"
05
There is a head teacher in a kindergarten. She is very simple and loves fantasy. It gives the impression that she is very happy at work.
As a result, on New Year’s Eve, she posted the following message in her circle of friends: Do you know how painful it is to be a kindergarten teacher? Every day, you see so many handsome guys who care about their families, love their children, have cars and money, but they are all other people’s husbands!
06
I was watching TV at home that day. The TV was talking about how children should deal with danger. So, I wanted to test my two-year-old son.
I pretended to faint and see what he would do.
"Mom, Mom, what's wrong with you?" My son shouted, and opened my eyes with his hands, "Mom, are you really dead?"
Then I waited for a while, but heard no movement. Through squinted eyes, I saw my son counting the money in my wallet.
07
A colleague said that he once took a train in a soft sleeper, but after a while the conductor came over and asked him to change cars.
He asked the conductor what was going on, and the conductor told him that government officials would come up in this car and that this car was all covered.
Everyone was filled with indignation and cursed the government for corruption.
A brother said something shocking: “These bastards won’t even let the train go.Not only does he have a mistress, but he also has a fucking train! "
08
I took a plane with my best friend. When we arrived at the airport, she put on a mask silently. I asked doubtfully: It's such a hot day and there's no wind. What kind of mask are you wearing?
She pulled me and whispered: I can’t expose my mouth, otherwise I won’t be able to get on the plane!
I looked at her in confusion, and she explained: Oops. , Didn’t I say that you can’t bring explosive items on the plane?
Wucao... Suddenly I felt something was wrong...
09
A said to B: I can pick a hundred radishes for three pounds at a time.
B replied: One hundred radishes for three pounds is three hundred pounds. You are so numb. It can’t even lift a hundred kilograms. It’s so bragging that it doesn’t pay tax!
A laughed and said: You don’t understand, the radishes are three kilograms long, and they are hollow, weightless, and very light.
B nodded and said: That's right.
suddenly realized that it doesn't matter if it's hollow or not, it's three pounds per piece, but one hundred pieces is three hundred pounds! 5A Evil Way: It’s really hard to communicate.
010
Many people came to seek a position as a teller in a bank, but unexpectedly, the bank manager actually hired a squinting person. , crooked nose, and ugly ears.
Someone asked the manager why he made this choice. The manager replied with a smile: "Because he has outstanding facial features. If he absconds with money, it will be easy for us to write this down on the wanted order." ”
Henan Happy Little Fish, I like to collect headlines about humorous jokes. I hope that the humorous jokes every day will not only bring happiness, but also make you realize many truths in life. The road is long and long, and I will keep pursuing it. In the future, I will continue to work hard without your support, likes, and interaction in the comment area. Thank you!
pictures are from the Internet. If there is any infringement, they will be deleted immediately after contacting
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