1. My husband works in the city and is far away from his hometown. He hasn't been able to go home to see me and my children for a long time. Isn’t it time for May Day holiday? I took my children to the city amusement park and check out my husband by the way. But my husband still

1. My husband works in the city and is far away from his hometown. He hasn't been able to go home to see me and my children for a long time. Isn’t it time for May Day holiday? I took my children to the city amusement park and check out my husband by the way. But my husband still has to go to work, and my husband said to me, "Wife, let's have a meal together at noon, I'll treat you to a big meal."

Then we made an appointment with a restaurant and watched the waiter bring three bowls of instant noodles. I was so moved that I almost burst into tears...

2. The teacher who taught physiology in our grade was very fun. Then once he asked everyone, "Students, how many chromosomes are there in a human?" A classmate in a corner of the classroom replied, "64." The old man said calmly and seriously: "Well, now tell me, what is your purpose in coming to the earth."

3. A friend subconsciously wrote his last name when writing his name, and then realized that he was wrong. My friend crossed out his last name and wrote the name of the person who was given a substitute. I happened to be seen by the invigilator and the teacher said: Can you still remember your name incorrectly! My friend said wisely in a hurry: My parents... are divorced, my mother's surname is my mother. The teacher was silent... and didn't ask any more.

4. Xiaoqiang is usually very disobedient, and today he broke the flowerpot of his neighbor's house. The neighbor's aunt said: What's your name? I want to tell your parents! Xiaoqiang smiled and said: No, my parents know what my name is!

5. During the college entrance examination, I didn’t finish a big math question, so I could only go to school 211 with regret. I had nothing to do when I went home during the holiday, so I went to help my aunt's sixth-grade sister make up for the lessons, and paid for the salary and provided food and accommodation. I am particularly happy because this is my first job in my life. Unexpectedly, after working for a week, my aunt was fired. Because my sister and I turn on the air conditioner and eat snacks every day, the clothing collection rate of my sister " Miracle Nuannuan " has been increased to 95%!

6. I may never forget that afternoon, I jumped off the second floor as a parachute. As a result, I fell to myself and my legs were broken. My father at the door rushed over quickly, took the umbrellas together, and after looking at the umbrellas for a while, he said in surprise: The quality is so good, it has not broken yet. That scene is still engraved in my mind until now, and I can be sure: this is definitely my dear father.

7. When the child comes back, he asked: What has the teacher taught? Child: I not only learned but also made sentences, and the teacher praised me. Me: How did you make sentences? Child: My father not only has good luck in playing mahjong but also has good athlete's foot!

8. One day, the little mouse went out to play and met a cat on the way. The little mouse was very scared. However, something strange happened. The cat did not eat the little mouse and turned around and left. After returning home, the little mouse told the mouse mother what happened. Finally, the mouse mother thought for a long time and thought: There must be something wrong with this matter.

9. I recently returned from a field trip in the desert and told my wife about her experience in the desert. I said: When I was in the desert, a lion chased me, and I climbed up the tree before I avoided it. My wife asked in confusion: Are there trees in the desert? I coughed awkwardly: Cough! The situation was extremely urgent at that time, who would still consider these issues?

10. My wife resigned and became a full-time wife at home. She felt very bored, so she downloaded a dating software. Last month, she met a female netizen who talked about clothing and food every day. I often sigh: "It's so rare. I can meet the same vision and taste." Today they made an appointment to meet in the restaurant. I went to see it secretly, but my wife found it and waved me to come over. Now, I was hiding behind the pillars of the restaurant and was at a loss. Her netizen was actually my ex-girlfriend.

11. That day, I was driving a Bentley on the road and saw a girl waving to me on the side of the road, so I drove a while. After getting on the bus, the girl handed me a pineapple. I couldn't refuse, so I took a bite. She asked me: Is it delicious? I said: It's delicious! She said again: Of course it’s delicious, I loved pineapple the most during my lifetime! My legs were so scared that I almost drove the car into the ditch! The woman continued: I have no choice but to eat since my child was born.

12. Both my best friend and I have never fallen in love because I am busy with work. Today we went to a blind date of a hundred people together. In the end, I chose a man who was nervous about speaking. My best friend reminded me if I was wrong? I sneered: This is a blank, not forged, and of course it is not as bright as the finished streamline. This is called wisdom! Sure enough, as I expected, I finally found out that I chose a stutter. "

13. I remember that my dad drank some wine and said to me: "My daughter is stupid. How can I support myself when I grow up? Be a teacher, you will teach a group of crazy people to mislead their children. Be a doctor, you are worried that you will be confused and put scalpel into the patient's belly. Be a lawyer, you will only talk about misleading, you will be beaten up, and you will not be an official. You will definitely embezzle money to buy snacks! Alas, I would be able to go up the mountain and be able to stand on the stall when I went down the sea. I would not fly in the sky and there would be no drill bits when I entered the ground. I was so worried! "

14. My brother-in-law likes to chew betel nut . Later, I felt uncomfortable if I didn't chew it all day. But since he went to a small workshop to buy betel nut, he has now quit betel nut. That day, my brother-in-law customized a banner and happily came to the small workshop to thank him. The boss of the small workshop asked in surprise: "You buy betel nut and I sell betel nut. What's the point of thanking me? "The brother-in-law said with a serious look on his face: "Of course I have to thank you!" If you hadn't made betel nuts with fake and real years, how could I have quit now! Now, I can enjoy eating a piece of chocolate at home. "

15. I accidentally drove and hit a young woman's car. Fortunately, it was not too serious. I left the contact information and discussed compensation. As a result, I became familiar with her after a while. She was actually a headhunter and asked for a copy of my resume and said that there was a suitable opportunity to help me pay attention to the recommendation. I excitedly told my wife about this, and couldn't help but sigh that the fate between people is really wonderful. My wife didn't say anything after hearing it. In a few days, my wife drove after get off work , knocked a man's Audi A6! My wife came back and said that the man was a boss, and now he was digging her to be the president's assistant!

16. On a sunny afternoon, after the mother bathed the two twins, she put them on the bed, and one of them laughed. The mother asked, "What are you laughing at?" He said happily, "You washed your sister twice, but I didn't wash it once. "My mother was stunned after hearing this

17. After a long struggle in thought, she still mustered up the courage to call her married ex. After the call was answered, I said, "Are you well-off lately? I think..." The ex immediately said, "Sorry, I'm not well-off at all! "I laughed: "I knew you were not well-off, so I just laughed at you, hahahaha..."

18. Not long after being with my girlfriend, but her relationship became better and better, so she decided to take me to see her parents. As soon as we met, my girlfriend's father asked me to go to the balcony to chat. He said: "Young man, you have only known each other for a month. Do you know each other? "I took a deep breath of cigarette and said, "I don't know much about the specific ones. I only know that she likes to grind her teeth when sleeping, and there is a scar on her back. "Her father: "Child, it's cold outside, we'll say it inside! "

19. Once, when I was going home from get off work, there was a man and a woman quarreling in the elevator. It seemed that the woman wanted to buy cosmetics. The man thought it was expensive. The woman: Don't buy it for me, right? I told you that there are too many people who want to buy it for me! The man said angrily: Don't you know what you look like? The woman was anxious: What do I look like? What's wrong with me? The man pointed at me and said to the woman: Did you see, if you take off your makeup, it would be even ugly than her.