3. When I was in high school, my boyfriend was hugging me in class, like a princess hug. Suddenly the chemistry teacher came and my boyfriend threw me out... 4. I drove to a mental hospital to deliver something. When I arrived at the hospital, my car tire blew out.

1 It is no exaggeration to say that if you fight with me, you will be on the ground within five seconds.

Among those who pinch me, beg me not to die.

2 I met an old classmate on the street today. I didn’t expect him to be so poor, so he only put one dollar into my bowl.

3 When I was in high school, my boyfriend was hugging me in class, like a princess hug. Suddenly the chemistry teacher came, and my boyfriend threw me out...

4 I drove to a mental hospital alone to deliver something. When I arrived at the hospital, my tire blew out.

He was repairing the tire there and accidentally lost the four screws on the tire into the sewer.

What should we do? He muttered in annoyance.

A mentally ill man passed by and after looking at it, he said: "You can take out the remaining three tires, remove one screw from each, put them on the spare tire, and then slowly drive to the city, you will have to find a car repairman."

This person suddenly understood. After enlightenment, he said: "Why are you so smart and stay in a mental hospital?"

The patient said: "I am here because of mental problems, not because I am stupid!"

5 At a roadside kebab stall, a friend suddenly asked me "Did you catch a cold?"

"Yeah, how do you know? Is my voice a little hoarse?"

"That's not the case, I see smoke coming out of only one nostril when you smoke"...

6 Lao Zhang was staring at a beautiful long-haired girl in the elevator, and Mrs. Zhang was very unhappy. Suddenly, the girl turned around and gave Lao Zhang a slap in the face and said, "Don't pinch a girl next time!"

When Lao Zhang and his wife walked out of the elevator, Lao Zhang said to his wife aggrievedly: "I didn't pinch her!"

I know. Mrs. Zhang said, "I pinched her." "

7 A friend's child was just 5 years old and was devouring a bunch of snacks. I walked over and asked: Can I give my uncle some snacks? He thought carefully for a while and hesitantly brought me several kinds of snacks. I said happily: Thank you, little handsome guy. Uncle doesn't really want to eat, just to see if you can give it to me. Haha, you should eat it yourself. He breathed a sigh of relief, quickly put away the snacks, and said: Sure enough, I guessed it...

8 My husband said that my usual pajamas were too conservative to seduce him, so I thought about it and bought transparent pajamas to seduce him when my husband came home from get off work. When it was time for him to get off work, I hesitated in the bathroom. When I heard the sound of my husband opening the door, I was heartbroken and ran towards him without wearing anything. Before he could say the word, my colleague behind my husband stuck his head out and said to me: sister-in-law. Drunk for the rest of my life.

9 A man drank too much, picked up someone else’s cell phone and started talking.

male: "Hi, hello. "

female: "I'm sorry, who are you? "

male: "What do you think? "

female: "I can't see it! ?

male: "Then you heard who it was, right?" "

female: "I can't hear it either. "

male: "I told you how blind and deaf you are. "

Female...died.

10My son is eight months old. He was crawling around on the bed. Today he suddenly farted, and then white smoke came out of his butt. It scared me. I quickly called my husband to send him to the hospital. My mother-in-law was beside me. He said, it's okay, just use less prickly heat powder on your butt next time...

11 was hospitalized for infusion, and a loli nurse came to change the sling bottle, but she was limited in height and couldn't get it up no matter how hard she tried, the brother accompanying her said: "I'm here to help you. "The little nurse's face was full of gratitude: "Thank you..." Before she could finish her words, this guy picked up the little nurse...

12 The company came to interview two girls. The HR asked the boss flatteringly, why don't you choose A? She has fair skin and beautiful waves. She had long legs and was pretty good at everything. Unexpectedly, the boss fired HR angrily and admitted B. When the boss talked about it afterwards, he was still angry and said, "What do you mean by this grandson? My daughter is not beautiful?" "