1. My female colleague was drunk and I couldn’t carry her home. I poured her water and drank tea for a long time. She got better, and said to me with drunken eyes: Don’t you want to do what you men want to do most? Today I won't leave at night. I'll wipe it! When I finally heard

1. My female colleague was drunk and I couldn’t carry her home. I poured her water and drank tea for a long time. She got better and said to me with drunken eyes: Don’t you want to do what you men want to do most? Today I won't leave at night. I'll wipe it! When I finally heard these words, I burst into tears. You know me so well! "You go to sleep." I wrapped her up with a quilt, turned on the computer and started playing games...

2. My wife and her best friend were playing mahjong at home. Later, when the work unit called her to ask her about something, she asked me to take over, saying that each person won and lost half. After five hours of playing, I won three. I joked as I was sending them out: "Thank you for coming all the way to give me the money." I closed the door with a smile and counted the pile of tickets I won, a total of 630 yuan. At this time, my wife called: "Wow, they all told me, you won more than 8,000, don't keep it all to yourself."

3. "Sorry, I stepped on your toes." "Girl, you know, it took five hundred years of looking back in the past life to pass by me in this life. In the vast sea of ​​people, you were neither a step early nor a step late, but you just stepped on me. Then I have nothing else to say." It can be said that the only question is: Did you do it on purpose? "

4. One day, my wife cooked a dish of braised pork . After I ate it, I said, "Such a delicious dish, such a delicious dish..." My wife couldn't close her mouth and said, "Okay. Just eat more. My hands kept adding vegetables to my bowl, and then I finished chewing the meat and said, "You ruined it all." "

5. The couple quarreled over a trivial matter. After the quarrel, the husband felt regretful and asked his wife to watch the two horses pulling a cart outside. He said: "Why can't we be like those two horses? How about working together to move forward? The wife said angrily: "We are not two horses, because one of us is a donkey!" ”

6. When I was a child, my mother threatened me by saying: The wolf is coming! After going to school, my classmates threatened me by saying: The teacher is coming! After I got married, my friends threatened me by saying: Your wife is coming! After work, my colleagues threatened me by saying: The leader is coming! After becoming a leader, , the superior threatened and said: The inspection team is coming! Just after doing something, the subordinate threatened: The Discipline Inspection Commission is coming! Finally, the lover came and threatened again: He didn’t come this month.