Text丨Qingxin Junyue
In the old house of Zhou Jiaguang, Zhou Bingyi told the father of Zhou who had been giving birth to him and Hao Dongmei. He said that it was his problem, the root cause of the disease that he had been injured in the Corps and had no time to treat.
When hearing the "truth" in his eldest son's mouth, Zhou's father, who had always been majestic and able to bear the trouble, burst into tears in an instant.
He never expected that his eldest son, who had high hopes, could not have children. At that moment, helplessness and grief made him not know how to respond to his son's words.
His grief was not because he couldn't hold his grandson, but because he was worried about his eldest son's life in his later years.
Just like after Zhou Bingyi said the three words "sorry" to Zhou's father in the play, he said with a heartache:
"You stupid child, what's the right thing to do. Dad urges you to be good for you. I said I want a grandson, it's an excuse. Your sister and brother, you have children, many of you. What grandsons don't have grandsons? Your father is an old party member, and this awareness is gone."
What Zhou's father cares about is never the so-called "grandson", but hopes that the eldest son will not be lonely and desolate in his later years.
In Zhou’s father’s eyes, children are not only a continuation of bloodlines, but also a family inheritance, but also a person’s old age destination and emotional sustenance.
Now that the daughter and the younger son have their own children, the eldest son does not have them, how can he not worry?
Then, Zhou's father asked Zhou Bingyi carefully: "Does Dongmei's family know?"
After receiving a negative answer, Zhou's father was silent for a moment, and in turn comforted his eldest son not to think too much. With Dongmei's parents' awareness, he doesn't necessarily care whether he has children. As long as he is better with Dongmei in the future and works hard to do his career.
But he didn't know, Zhou Bingyi lied to him, and it was Hao Dongmei who couldn't give birth, and Zhou's father didn't know the true truth until his death.
When I first watched this plot, I was like Zhou Bingkun, who knew the truth. I felt that Zhou Bingyi’s trick was so clever that in order to make Zhou’s father accept it better and for his wife Hao Dongmei, he was willing to take on the infertility matters on himself.
Now I re-watch " Human World " and carefully savored the profound meaning and the results behind Zhou Bingyi's move. I still think he is clever, but this "cleverness" reveals his ruthlessness and coldness towards his father, and the purpose of killing three birds with one stone.
The first "carving": It is Dongmei, and it is even more "high" Haojia
I have been thinking about a question:
Why didn't Zhou Bingyi dare to tell Zhou's father truthfully what he was worried about? Are you worried that Zhou’s father would treat his wife Hao Dongmei harshly because of this, or is you worried that Zhou’s father would force him to divorce?
But looking at the whole plot, you will find that although Zhou’s father’s thoughts are a bit conservative, he has always been enlightened and reasonable, and is upright and values affection and righteousness. This can be seen from his acceptance of Zheng Juan with his children.
So, it is impossible for him to treat his daughter-in-law Hao Dongmei with harsh treatment, and it is even more impossible for him to force them to divorce.
Moreover, Zhou Zhigang was not worried about being implicated in the situation of Hao Dongmei's parents back then, and Zhou Bingyi and Hao Dongmei were together against the promising future. Now that the two have been married for many years, it is even more impossible for him to force himself into the middle.
Zhou Zhigang cannot do such a thing as abandoning his infertile daughter-in-law, which does not conform to his personality, nor does it conform to his principles and bottom line in life and work.
Does Zhou Bingyi know his father’s character?
As the eldest son of the Zhou family, he is also a smart person who knows how to observe his words and expressions. He cannot not know.
If he really speculated about Zhou’s father so much, it would be an insult to Zhou’s character.
He knew, but he chose to hide it because in his opinion, concealing the truth is the most beneficial choice for Dongmei and the Hao family.
Pay attention to one detail : The timing of Zhou Bingyi's showdown.
At that time, Zhou's father felt uncomfortable because of his in-laws.
First, the whole family was on guard and gave up the plan to take the family photo and waited for the in-laws for a day, but didn't even see a person; then he treated the tea that the baby brought back from Guizhou and was sent back by the in-laws' secretary; then the eldest son scolded him in front of the whole family, saying, "You still dislike others, how can you be that qualification? Just don't dislike others." The series of things in
made Zhou's father both feel depressed and uncomfortable, which is something that everyone in the Zhou family knows.
And Zhou Bingyi chose to show off at this time.
Why?
Because he knew that his father was getting angry about the Hao family, he told his father at this time that the reason why he and Hao Dongmei had no children was his problem, and Hao Dongmei didn't care, which would make Zhou's father feel guilty about Hao Dongmei and the Hao family.
In this way, Zhou's father would naturally treat Hao Dongmei more kindly because of guilt. He would also accept the "high-ranking" attitude of the Hao family, who did not recognize their relatives and did not move around out of guilt, and would no longer be angry about the unpleasantness that occurred before.
This is one of the reasons why Zhou Bingyi blocked the problem of infertility on himself.
In the play, after Zhou’s father learned the “truth”, he said to Zhou Bingyi:
“You can say now that for work and study, what should you do in the future? Everyone has only such a daughter.”
Facts have proved that after knowing that the problem occurred to Zhou Bingyi, Zhou’s father really felt guilty, and since then, Zhou’s father really never mentioned the in-laws again.
The second "charming": blocking the mouth of Youyou
Zhou Bingyi's lies, and there is another benefit: blocking the mouth of Youyou.
Before Hao Dongmei's parents resumed their positions, Zhou Bingyi and Hao Dongmei had an equal relationship. One was a child from a well-manned working family, and he also served as a cadre in the Corps. The other was a child of a down-and-out high-ranking official, who was well-educated and educated, and their union could be accepted by everyone.
Even in the hearts of some people, Hao Dongmei is not worthy of Zhou Bingyi.
However, when Hao Dongmei's father became the governor of , everything changed.
Even though Zhou Bingyi still felt that he and Hao Dongmei were equal, it was not the case in the eyes of others.
is first Zhou’s father.
In the play, Zhou's father once said this: "In our family, I have the final say, men have the final say. Of course, the era is different now. Although Bingkun and Zheng Juan, Bingkun has the final say, and your sister has the final say. Men and women are both responsible for half of the sky."
Zhou Bingyi understood the meaning of Zhou's father's words and asked Zhou's father if he felt that he had no status in Dongmei's family. Zhou’s father’s answer is: “I don’t blame you.”
Zhou’s father’s answer is the default and is also an understanding of his son’s situation.
He knew very well how much pressure Zhou Bingyi would be under with a governor’s father-in-law. This was not the Hao family’s fault, but it was also Zhou Bingyi’s fault.
So, although he thinks that it is natural for men to rule the outside and women to rule the inside, he can also accept the marriage between Zhou Bingyi and Hao Dongmei. Like his daughter Zhou Rong, he will listen to the woman's family affairs. Even though this is different from the facts, Zhou's father thought so.
Not only Zhou’s father thought so, but Zhou Bingkun also thought so.
That's why he mocked Zhou Bingyi because of Zhou Bingyi's attitude towards Zhou's father: "Yes, the governor's son-in-law is the most important." If Zhou Bingkun had no such thoughts, even if he was angry, he would not say this.
In addition to Zhou’s father and Zhou Bingkun, the other people’s ideas are even more so. There is a passage in the original work: "The eldest son of the Zhou family actually became a deputy inspector! How could he become an official? Isn't it because the bet was accurate, and he picked up the daughter of a high-ranking official and became a son-in-law who rode the dragon?"
This is a small part of the discussion and criticism of the neighbors of Guangzipian's neighbors behind the scenes.
Zhou Bingyi knew this evaluation very well.
In this case, if he admits that it is Hao Dongmei who cannot give birth, it will confirm that he would rather not have children than be a "governor's son-in-law" for the sake of his future and career.
And he stopped himself from fertility, but the result was exactly the opposite.
Everyone, including Zhou’s father, will also believe that Zhou Bingyi is valued by the Hao family because of his own ability and his excellent enough, not the result of compromise.
The third "sculpture": gained recognition from parents-in-law
I never think Zhou Bingyi is a person who is good at pleasing his parents-in-law. However, in the case of Hao Dongmei's infertility, his choice did please her parents-in-law.
Since I asked Dongmei’s father for Cai Xiaoguang to go to college, Dongmei’s parents have been dissatisfied and guarded against Zhou Bingyi, thinking that he is too ignorant and has always been lukewarm towards this son-in-law.
Zhou Bingyi also knew that he had done something wrong with Cai Xiaoguang. He always wanted to find opportunities to improve his parents-in-law's attitude towards him and towards the Zhou family, and the infertility of Dongmei became an opportunity.
At this time, he and Hao Dongmei were in their thirties and had no children for many years. He could not explain to Dongmei’s parents, but he had to give an explanation to Zhou’s father.
has only two choices in front of you: problem is in him or in Dongmei.
With Zhou Bingyi's IQ and EQ, he naturally understood that what his parents-in-law were most worried about about this matter was nothing more than the fear that Dongmei would suffer in the Zhou family because of infertility.
. He chose to take responsibility on himself, which just dispelled his parents-in-law's concerns about this matter and improved his relationship with his parents-in-law.
This is another reason why he chose to lie to Zhou's father.
It was after this incident that Dongmei’s parents’ attitude towards Zhou Bingyi had a huge change.
Even Dong Mei’s father, who has always been serious, began to take the initiative to play table tennis with Zhou Bingyi, and put down his airs and talked with Zhou Bingyi heartily about current affairs and work with Zhou Bingyi in his study. This is a state and scene that has never appeared in the drama before.
As for why such a change occurs, you can imagine it. They felt sorry for the Zhou family, and were even more moved by Zhou Bingyi's protection of Hao Dongmei.
Some people may think that Zhou Bingyi is not such a person.
But in my opinion, there is nothing impossible. It has become a fact that there is no child. In this case, it is more beneficial to himself and Dongmei, so he will naturally choose this way.
This is also his way of survival.
In his opinion, after all, he is a "living under someone else's roof" in the Hao family. Appropriately pleases his parents-in-law and eases their relationship, which is conducive to the relationship between husband and wife and the overall harmonious family atmosphere.
. Zhou Bingyi in the original work has indeed been trying his best to please his mother-in-law Jin Yueji. He called this "a person who knows the times is a hero, and judges the power..."
The ruthlessness and coldness behind the lies
To be honest, I can understand that Zhou Bingyi lied to Zhou's father for the above three benefits.
But when I saw Zhou's father comforting Zhou Bingyi in tears, I was thinking, for the sake of Hao Dongmei and the Hao family, for myself, Zhou Bingyi used a lie to make Zhou's father feel "false" guilt. Is this really right?
What did Zhou’s father really do wrong?
He wants to recognize his in-laws, but he is not to seek marriage, nor to gain some money from his in-laws in high-ranking officials.
All he thinks is that the two children are destined to come together. Both parents must meet each other, whether out of etiquette or folk rules, to show respect for each other and recognition of their children's marriage.
After the incident of the tea being returned, he felt uncomfortable, but his discomfort was not because the tea being returned was disgraced, or because he felt that the Hao family had embarrassed him, but because he thought it was because he was not considering it carefully, which caused this big embarrassment.He once said to Zhou Rong:
"I don't think about myself and I have to send two tubes of tea over. Isn't this uncomfortable? It makes the children feel uncomfortable."
He hopes that Hao Dongmei can have a child as soon as possible, but he is not anxious to hold his grandson, but is worried that Dongmei is old and will have trouble having children, which will affect her body.
Zhou's father did nothing wrong, but he had to bear the guilt of "false" towards Hao Dongmei and the Hao family because of Zhou Bingyi's lies. This was too unfair to Zhou's father.
Before this, although Zhou's father was a worker, he never underestimated himself. He knew the difference between the Zhou family and the Hao family, but he did not feel inferior because of this. In his opinion, at least they are equal in personality.
But Zhou Bingyi's lies broke the equality in Zhou's father's heart, making him feel deeply apologized and grateful to Hao Dongmei and the Hao family.
The apology comes from his own son, which makes the only daughter of the Hao family unable to have children; grateful that the son has problems, but Hao Dongmei is willing to hide it from her parents and continue to be with Zhou Bingyi.
In my opinion, Zhou Bingyi's lie is not the so-called "kind lie". Even this lie has no kindness, only selfishness and harm.
In the play, after accepting everything, Zhou's father asked this sentence: "You and me are the truth, right? You can't fool your father."
Does he not believe in Zhou Bingyi? No, he wanted to tell Zhou Bingyi that there was no need to lie to him. Even if it was Hao Dongmei who could not give birth, he would not interfere in their marriage and choices.
, but Zhou Bingyi chose to cheat.
He knew that confessing the truth would not affect Zhou’s father’s attitude towards Hao Dongmei. He clearly saw his father crying sadly because he was unable to have children and his guilt towards the Hao family, but he still concealed the truth.
His deception made the father who loved him deeply and thought about him cry. His deception made the father, who had always been proud, lower his head and bear the guilt that did not exist.
Bi Shumin wrote in " Female Psychologist ": "It is a kind of despicable to keep silent at the moment when it is time to tell the truth."
Although I don't want to use the word "despicable" to describe Zhou Bingyi's choice, from the perspective of Zhou's father and the perspective of being a child, his choice is really cruel and cold.
was written at the end:
I never think that Hao Dongmei was wrong in not being able to have children because of an accident. This is also her lifelong regret. I also support Zhou Bingyi, who would rather not have children than stick to his marriage and love with Hao Dongmei, which is his love and responsibility for his wife.
However, I cannot agree that he deceived an old father who loved him deeply and was innocent.
He considered Dongmei, his parents-in-law, and himself, but he did not consider giving birth to him and raising his father.
In fact, Zhou Bingyi told Zhou's father the truth, and the ending would not change either. On the contrary, the Hao family may change their views because of Zhou's father's acceptance, so that they will not avoid the Zhou family so much and will not be able to see each other until they die. The opportunity for the two families to reconcile will be gone.
But Zhou Bingyi did not. He chose the most selfish way to fulfill himself, but made Zhou's father feel guilty for it and eventually passed away with regret.
He is a good official, a good husband, and a good son-in-law, but not a good son.
Zhou Bingyi, like Zhou Rong, believes that adding luster to the family is equivalent to being grateful to his parents. It was not until after Zhou’s father passed away that Zhou Rong and Zhou Bingyi realized that they had never done anything for their father who had been worried about, and they had not even said a word of gratitude. For this, they can only be ashamed and regretful.
Still the same thing, don’t let “the son wants to raise but the parents are not waiting” become a regret. In the best of our ability, it is our obligation and responsibility as our children to repay our parents as much as possible, and it should be gratitude and love from the bottom of our hearts.
This may also be the reason why the audience loved and recognized Zhou Bingkun and Zheng Juan after watching "The World". They interpreted with their actions what filial piety is and what gratitude to their parents.
Qingxinjunyue, an emotional observer, he is a storyteller and film critic. Warm you with words, me.
