Wen | Tian Miaomiao, the original first release, welcome to forward and share
Whether in TV series or in real life, I have seen many such families.
Son and daughter-in-law live close to their parents-in-law, probably only a few minutes’ walk or drive away. The parents-in-law are in their own house, helping to pick up and take care of their grandchildren, and the son and daughter-in-law come naturally to take the children back to their home after get off work. Go, and occasionally have dinner together. Since
each has its own house and space, the two generations have kept a proper distance between them, so mother-in-law and daughter-in-law not only get along well, but also rarely talk about tension between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. This is naturally different from the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law under the same roof.
However, such a life requires preconditions. After
graduated from work, I saw that there were more young people around me who came to big cities from small cities to work hard. Their parents are in their hometowns, and they are able to buy a house in the city, and they have almost exhausted the whole family. Power, let alone buy two sets.
Therefore, more people leave their children in their hometowns with their parents, and go back every half month. Or if they are farther away from hometown, they take their parents around and squeeze them together in small houses in the city.
However, I am afraid that some sons and daughters-in-law are not grateful, and the old people can’t live and feel comfortable with the big house in their hometown. However, they have come all the way to "suffer", but they are often picked up by their daughters-in-laws. .
So, how is the life of the family without the help of the elderly? The following 4 "daughter-in-laws" tell the truth, very realistic. Every daughter-in-law, or married woman, should see it.
"Mother-in-law doesn't help. I have two children alone. It's really tiring."
My mother-in-law is a stepmother of my husband. She has her own son, so she is naturally not in our part. After three years of marriage, I gave birth to two children. When I was in confinement, I let me bathe the children by myself. After the confinement, I no longer care about me.
I am also used to it, and I have to go on the path I choose, no matter how difficult it is. Z1z
mother-in-law didn’t help, she brought two such small children alone, it was really tiring, especially when the second child was born, he was very unbehaved, especially crying, and the boss liked to cling to me, and almost collapsed during that time , Also left the root of the disease. Now I have back pain, backache, cold and fever at every turn. I remembered that when I was a girl, I couldn't catch a cold once in almost three years.
My parents have not retired yet, and they can't help me. They just often tell others that I can endure hardship.
Maybe I can really endure hardship. After all, many people who bring one child are often emotionally out of control, and I have to bring two at the same time, and from childhood to most of them are brought over by the same person, the age of the two children is also less than one. Years and a half.
To be honest, I am especially envious of those who have a mother-in-law to help with children. I often think that if my mother-in-law can help me, I won't be so tired in anything, and I will be grateful to her in my heart. Unfortunately, I have no such blessing.
"Full-time mothers have not been to work for three years, and there is no freedom to buy a lipstick."
palms up, dignity down, full-time mothers are such a type of person, I am one of the full-time mothers. It has been three years since the child was born. I haven't been to work for three years. Now, I don't even have the freedom to buy a lipstick.
Men talk about the oath of the mountain alliance, which is really touching, but the cruelty and ruthlessness when changing his mind is also really chilling. My husband’s parents were too old to help us. I always felt that we did not have the conditions to hire a confinement wife or a babysitter, and were afraid to give birth to a baby easily, but at that time he persuaded me that he wanted to be a father. Will handle everything.
However, I only know what a chicken feather is when I give birth. The man picks and picks and coaxes my mother to take care of my confinement, but the mother has not received professional training, coaxing the child, blocking my milk, and psychological counseling during the confinement period. Wait, I don't know anything, I have to do everything myself. I originally thought that this was the most difficult time.
However, it was only later discovered that it was just the beginning of the difficulty.
I didn’t have a job for the next three years. He not only deducted my living expenses, but occasionally I bought some necessities for my children and myself. He said that I was spending money arbitrarily. Once, because I was going to attend a friend’s wedding, I was online for an unprecedented time. He bought a lipstick, and after he knew it, he scolded me for three days.
I found this kind of life is really tooI have no dignity anymore, and I strongly desire to go out to work sooner, but no one takes the baby. I can only survive now, but I finally understand that women have no money in their hands, and everything else is fake.
"I dare not have a second child, I don't have money to change houses and cars, I just hope that the children will grow up quickly"
children are in elementary school this year, and they still have to pick up and drop off every day. There is no way to find a job with such free time, so I can only continue to do it. With a full-time mother, I only hope that the child will grow up soon.
I still live in the house I bought 10 years ago. In our community, everyone is just transitioning. Many of the people who change houses every few years, and those neighbors who have old people to help with children, have changed several times. Waves, only our family still holds the ground.
We are not proud of this, on the contrary, because there is no elderly to help with the children, for so many years, the husband has been working alone to support the whole family, mortgage, car loan, living expenses, and children’s tuition, all weighed on him Not angry.
And although I look anxious in my eyes, I can't help at all because of the situation.
Nowadays, I dare not have a second child, and I don’t have the money to change houses and cars. I can only do so. I think I will go out to work when the child gets older. At that time, I should be able to improve the family conditions slightly.
"Although it is very bitter and tiring, the children are obviously more independent than their peers. I am very pleased."
The elderly in our family can't help, but fortunately, parents-in-laws have pensions, whether I have children or are bringing them. In the past few years, my mother-in-law has subsidized us some money every year, which also relieved my pressure to a certain extent.
Therefore, although my parents-in-law did not help me with the children, they paid for it. I don't blame them. It's natural to be a little bit tired when bringing children by yourself, but I am also very pleased because my children are obviously more independent than those who were brought up by grandparents, and they like to read books and learn more.
all say that if you are separated from each other, the elderly and the grandchildren can easily spoil the children. For example, I have seen some friends whose children are five or six years old and they have to be fed by the elderly. Bad habits from TV, or because of the inconsistency of education concepts that cannot be reconciled, the conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are particularly tense.
Every time this time, I am very thankful that I can bring my own children.
Just like Professor Li Meijin said, children 0-6 years old and 6-12 years old are very critical life nodes. I hope I can help him lay a good foundation at the most important stage of his life and stay with him well. Big.
What is the difference between a family with an elderly person helping to bring a baby and a family with a baby?
In summary, we can see that 70% of daughter-in-laws are unhappy in families without the elderly to help with their children. Either it is too painful and exhausting to serve the children all day long, or the family status is very low without income. , Or the goal of the entire small family has to be shelved.
Of course, bringing your own children may educate your children better. There will be no conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If economic conditions permit, the family will also have a very comfortable life. However, not many families meet these requirements. When
was young, I also felt that my daughter-in-law should not be wronged to live with my mother-in-law, but when I grow up working and getting married, I slowly experience life, and I understand life, and finally understand the phrase "Life is not everything It’s all right", there are always some helplessness and involuntary in alive, and no matter what choice you make, there are gains and losses.
only, if it is the daughter-in-law of an ordinary family, in order to maximize the family's economic benefits, in fact, they can rely on their parents appropriately.
The elderly are willing and able to help with children, which is a very happy thing. After all, it is impossible for a nanny these days to be too relieved, and in many cases there may be no such conditions.
In the final analysis, in middle age, only parents can really rely on, and only parents can really help you.
Older generations have spent their entire lives for their children. Taking grandchildren not only allows them to have something to do, but also allows them to feel happy in getting along with their small lives, and at the same time, it reduces the burden on the small family. Good thing.
Just getting along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a science. Since mother-in-law is willing to give and knows how to swallow properly, daughter-in-law shouldn’t keep an inch or think badly.
It is inevitable that the two generations have different concepts and thoughts. As long as they are more tolerant and understand each other, they will gradually adapt., Then, the small family will be harmonious and develop in a better direction.
No matter which family member, this is actually the most ideal ending.
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