This is the 234th chapter of subscription number
Don’t interfere with each other’s life in the name of caring
Article | Edited by Mushroom Zhang | Fanta
Expressing love and care may be a headache for this generation of young people. . Does
care for good intentions? Not necessarily, some care can make people feel stressful. How many of these uncomfortable "concerns" have you encountered?
01.
"So tired,
or go home."
has been in Beijing for almost two years, taking the subway for one hour every day, and habitually treating the rental house as going home, and then watching the night Beijing was in a daze. Every time
calls parents, they always ask about the latest situation. As long as there is something unsatisfactory to disclose to them, their next sentence will definitely be "so tired, go home", "why stay in a big city?" "Don’t break your body and go home."
People who come from a small place like me sometimes don’t want to stay in their own one-third of acre. We can’t choose where they were born, but chances are always there. Go for it yourself.
Parents always can't understand, hope you go home and hope you stay with you, get married earlier and have children. But what is the point of such a well-behaved life? The concern of
at this moment is like a heavy burden. Gradually, I don't dare to talk to my family about any unhappiness.
2.
Don’t hurry,
Do you think I don’t envy others who have objects? Every time
goes home, quarreling with my parents is basically based on the same theme: "Why don't you have a target this year?" "Why are you not in a hurry?" "Don't look too high!" The current "self conditions are just like that, don't pick it anymore." This kind of self-denial makes me feel bad temper, why can't I see my good? It is false to say that you do not envy the object of
. Sometimes I really want to say, don’t rush, do you think I don’t want to have someone? But it's not that the world will soon fall.
How can you deal with emotional matters? I still believe that there will be such a right person, let me firmly believe that love can not be disappointed. This person can't be rushed, so let him take his time.
is 30 in one month. I wanted to work hard this year, but it seems impossible this year. And I especially want to say that it's useless to just ask "Do you have a partner?" It's useless to introduce it to me.
3.
"I am even afraid of seeing children."
After marriage, it should be exactly after the marriage is confirmed, the concern about "children" always appears in my life every three times.
I am even afraid of seeing children and am afraid to play with them, because the next sentence will be: "The child is so cute, when do you plan to give birth to one by yourself?" Even though, the person who spoke was not malicious.
I am not DINK, and I am not malicious towards children. But at the beginning, I wanted to be ready to meet TA's arrival. It was this hesitation that made me suffer.
Putting aside the tenth-level pain of childbirth and the physical injury after childbirth, I am even more worried that I cannot afford the upbringing and education of my child. If I can't give him good, let him come to this world to suffer? How can you bear it?
"Why others can, but you can't?" "Don't you all come here like this?" Whenever I hear such words, I think why compare others with me? Everyone has their own rhythm in life, don't use seemingly caring words to interfere with others' lives.
4.
is most afraid of others suddenly asking: What major do you study?
will be asked by relatives every time: "What do you study in college?" My first reaction is: speechless. Moreover, every year I ask: Where? What did you study? What kind of career can I pursue after my major?
I am studying water supply and drainage science and engineering. Some people will always be curious and ask, what is this for? Would anyone even jokingly say that it is a sewer? (...Z3z
will gossip off"Heart" rises, "You have never heard of it as a professional, so surely not! "What can you do after learning, hurry up and change your major." "Z3z
Not to mention whether my future job is related to the major I am currently studying. Even if it is relevant, if I don’t understand it, I can give suggestions. Where can I be confident?
5.
He doesn’t like you,
, your concern It’s a burden.
have you ever been unrequited love? If you want to ask me when my concern is a burden, I think I will answer: He doesn’t like you, your concern is the biggest burden.
can’t help but send a message to him, Even if ten sentences can only get one sentence, even if I waited from morning to night, I didn’t reply. But I would still persuade myself repeatedly in my heart: "He doesn’t reply to the message, just because he didn’t see it, he didn’t take the initiative to contact me, just because Too busy..." Every time
is on a holiday, I will be moved by myself to save money on a diet and buy gifts for him. On the other hand, I am also infinitely looking forward to what will happen to him when he receives my gift. What about
's reaction? Z3z
can't fall asleep late at night, waiting for a WeChat reply. Until the dialog box, stop at the time of polite and unfamiliar thanks, stop. In my own world, carefully maintain the only little expectation in my heart .Z3z
I like it so much, I care so much, why didn’t I respond? Later I figured out, when he doesn’t like you, no matter how much you do, no matter how caring you are, it is a useless burden.
6.
looks at my phone in the name of care
is really hard to accept that ex-girlfriend
has the habit of flipping through my mobile phone. I really can’t accept it. I still remember when I received a call from a friend. I had business dealings at work a long time ago. I was still thinking about this time. Why didn't you use WeChat to say hello in advance. After hanging up the phone,
found the verification message that the other party added a friend. After I passed it, I quickly replied: "My girlfriend deleted almost all the opposite sex in my WeChat. I'm so embarrassed. "It's really embarrassing and helpless. The "caring" of
girlfriends often makes me feel suffocated. From time to time I look at my mobile phone when I am not paying attention. I have seen it in work, life, and conversations with people at home. It’s clear, and sometimes I will be interrogated because of a certain sentence. My friends at
laughed and said, "You must have done something to sorry for her. People just look at you so tightly." Z3z
I also know that people who love each other should be honest with each other, but this kind of "caring", I feel that I have done nothing, already a "sinner".
"caring" is actually a complicated technology, very It is difficult to give an identification in the scientific sense.
's but comfortable and warm "care" must be from the perspective of the other party, considering the other party's true needs, the highest level of kindness, and must be to learn empathy.
Criticism is the way to express care and love, and constant accusations and denials will always have the opposite effect. Care is not control. I want you to be good to me, not to me. Z3z
Most of the time, we have all lived. In a mediocre and ordinary life, we often encounter all kinds of small troubles. Care is still necessary.
We still look forward to a sincere way of caring, which is the love and care for our lover, which can truly convey to each other , Have an incomparable sense of security between you.
Let’s talk together:
What is the most burdensome concern for you?
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