fan letter:
hello brother, my husband and I were introduced by relatives on a blind date. I am 30 and he is 32. When we first met
, our income was not very high at , and he was only a little bit more than me . His family built their own house without a car! Before getting married, my parents learned that his conditions were not good, and they disagreed with our marriage, saying they were afraid that we would have conflicts due to economic problems after we got married.
But because I like him very much and think he is very handsome , so I didn't consider other issues and wanted to be with him.
When both parents were discussing the bride price, the parents originally wanted more than 100,000 yuan. I think his family's financial situation is not very good, so I should not discuss so much with my parents. My parents also compromised because of my persistence.
At the time, he also told me about his financial situation. The betrothal was part of the money his parents paid. He would find a way to find other friends to borrow . In fact, I was very moved. I felt that he would borrow money for me to marry me. .
Before getting married, because his parents were not optimistic about him and worried that it would be bad for me after having a child, I didn't need to repay the gift money that I borrowed. After the child came out, I decided whether to help him or not.
parents often say this, which made me feel a little shaken, and caused me a lot of psychological pressure, but I liked him too much and ignored them.
Who knows because of this, after getting married, he said that he didn't want to help him pay off the debt together. Z1z caused him to feel resentful and felt that I would not help him.
is actually not that I don’t want to help. I’m also afraid that what my parents said will be bad for me if it stabilizes. I don’t know what to do at the moment?
Because he is honest and not good at words, he always kisses his in-laws before marriage and talks about betrothal gifts, and he also has his in-laws, his brothers-in-law, and his uncles and aunts. He is very diligent in coming to my house. After
got married, I also want to live with him. I look forward to getting better and better in the future, but the reality is that economic problems have stumped me first.
He is also angry because of this, he is unwilling to keep my salary, and even wants to save money for ordinary expenses, hoping that I will pay for living expenses.
After July and August this year, I did not ask him for living expenses again, thinking that it would help him alleviate the burden if he came out by himself.
Until last month, once I asked him to go to the supermarket with me and he didn't pay. I was psychologically imbalanced. I felt that he didn't love me anymore, so I couldn't hold back and kept nagging.
The first time he quarreled with me, he started a fire at me. From that time, I felt that he was angry with me in his heart and his attitude was much colder.
I sent him a video twice and I didn't answer it. Recently, I discovered that he always keeps his mobile phone in his hand, and he has to take it in when he goes to the bathroom or even takes a bath.
wanted to look at his phone yesterday, and suddenly got a little temper. Although he didn’t grab the phone and didn’t let him look at it, he also checked the WeChat record before seeing it. I felt a bit problematic. I was worried that was angry if he was fighting this time. After scolding him with anger, he was hurt and went out to find other women to comfort him, thinking about cheating carefully.
I am very sad. I treat him so well. I rarely scold him for small mistakes occasionally. I tolerate him, just because I want him to pay more and care about me this time.
Later, I also realized that I spoke too much and really hurt him, so yesterday I found an opportunity to admit my mistakes and reflect on myself. He said that he was not so careful and he still held grudges.
But I feel that he does not accept my apology, and does not forgive me. He would tell me where he was wrong before admitting to him wrong, but he didn't say anything this time.
I guess if he has someone out there . Recently I found out that he pays more attention to dressing. He buys some new clothes and shoes, and then he also pays attention to hairstyle. It all feels like he wants to show the girl he likes outside and wants to attract him. Attention, love is clean.
Yesterday I asked him to deny it, Brother Kai, what should I do? I love him very much and don't want to lose him. I'm so sad.
almost fell out with his parents for him. I didn't dare to tell my parents that they would make things worse for him. What do I need to do to make him change his mind and cut off the cautious thinking about possible derailment.
Kaizi replied: Hello girl
, First of all, if he had an affair, you don’t know, so guess blindly, which obviously doesn’t make sense.
Let’s first discuss why you are in love after marriageThe reason will be bad.
Of course, the most important thing is definitely the economic problem.
When you got married, he borrowed money for you. You feel very touched. In order to marry you, this man can borrow money.
is so good. Before getting married, he can make sacrifices and concessions for you. Why does have the same expectations after getting married, and I hope you will do the same for him.
But in the end you did nothing. Would you be disappointed if you changed to you?
Indeed, your reason is very good. Your parents are not optimistic about him, because they are afraid that he will be bad for you, so they don't want you to pay him back, and want to wait until the child is born.
But speaking, you still don't believe him, which means you are guarding him in your heart.
Of course, if you guard him, you can't say that you are doing it wrong, but what is marriage? The basis of 's marriage is trust and understanding of . You can only marry him if you believe that he can treat you well.
If you don’t even believe this, why are you still getting married?
People's good is mutual, no one can pay regardless of return.
When he finds that he is so good to you, but you still keep one hand, do you think he will give you unconditionally?
At this time, let’s talk about the second question, how you get along.
Originally there was a crisis of trust between the two parties because of the money issue, but now they are suspicious again because of the mobile phone, which makes him feel that there is a sense of distance between you, and you have never trusted him at all.
Especially if you talked too much later and hurt him, what did you say too much?
I wonder if it’s not because of his financial problems that he lays down and talked about the feat that your parents did not want you to marry, but you were desperate.
If you did say it, then this is what made him disappointed with you in the end.
You said that he used to tell you what was wrong with you, and now he doesn't want to say it anymore. You may think you won't listen to it how many times you have said it before, and he doesn't bother to say it.
Next, talk about what you should do and how to make him change his mind.
You must first know why men cheat, because he can't get the emotional needs he wants with you.
He feels that being with you is not recognized or trusted, so why should he be with you?
So, you have to change your mindset first.
If you don't trust him at all, then you may never go back.
Unless you have definite evidence, the more doubtful you are, it will only push you further apart.
You must first believe that this person is sincerely living with you, and you are willing to consider the problem from his perspective, so that you can reconcile.
Of course, I don’t know who your husband is, and I don’t know if you really help him if you worry about it. These can only be judged by yourself.
The feelings in marriage, such as people knowing whether they drink water or warm water, whether they are me or their parents, opinions can only be given to you. In the end, you still have to make correct judgments and decisions by yourself.
Finally, I would like to remind you to think about it again, did you just marry him because he was handsome? What does he like about you again?
If you love him only because he is handsome, then you have to know that you have to pay for this handsome, otherwise you like his handsome, other girls will also like his handsome.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-