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Some people can't get along with others, it's their problems. And some people can't get along with others, it's their own problem.
is like what my friend Ye Hong said when talking about her marriage yesterday, "My mother-in-law used to be a very unflattering person. Not only can I not get along with me, but also with her own family. This is definitely not someone else's problem. It must be her own problem!”
does have some mother-in-laws like this. They should reflect on themselves if they can’t get along with their children. As a result, instead of reflecting on them, they have conflicts with their daughter-in-law or son-in-law, which is certainly not good for them. .
Children often don’t know their parents before they get married. However, after the children get married, their parents do not look like elders and bully their daughter-in-law or son-in-law. This is definitely unacceptable to the children. Such a mother-in-law can easily become a target.
For example, Ye Hong’s mother-in-law started to bully her daughter-in-law on the night of her son’s wedding, occupying the wedding room and reluctant to leave, and offered such a condition: "Daughter-in-law, you want me to leave. Return the bride price and I will leave immediately! "Z1z
Ye Hong asked her back, "Why should I withdraw the lottery gift? There was no such item when I was engaged before. It is your fault that you made a mistake, but I don't eat this one." The mother-in-law
continued to behave, "You again There is no shortage of money. In addition, your parents gave you a dowry. Why do you keep so much money in your hand? I gave you the bride price. Now it is superfluous in your hand. It is better to give it to me. My husband's family has a foothold, and I protect you, no one dare to bully you!"
Ye Hong didn't want to talk nonsense with her, and issued an eviction order: "If you don't leave, I will divorce your son immediately. This is my wedding room. , It’s not your turn to be a demon!”
At this time, Ye Hong’s husband had just returned from sending relatives and saw that her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were in a wrong state, so he asked her mother-in-law what was wrong. In fact, it can be seen from his little action that he has long ago had an opinion on his mother, and one guess can guess that she is all right. The mother-in-law
pretended to be deaf and dumb and did not speak. Ye Hong said for her, "Your mother said, if I don’t return the bride price to her, she will occupy the wedding room tonight. You can figure it out. If she doesn’t Go, let me go!"
Her husband criticized her mother-in-law, and then issued an eviction order. Her mother-in-law had no choice but to leave.
Let's put aside Ye Hong's feelings in that marriage, and first talk about her mother-in-law.
In reality, she did not succeed in bullying her daughter-in-law. When her son came back, she was criticized again. As an elderly person, as an elder, she must feel uncomfortable. However, this is not to blame others, but to herself. If she does not bully her daughter-in-law or occupy the marriage room, she will not be criticized.
Conversely talked about Ye Hong and her husband. Ye Hong's feelings were not good. On the first day of marriage, her mother-in-law put one another, her mood became very bad, and her impression of her mother-in-law also plummeted.
Her husband's feelings are also terrible. I thought that after a busy day, I would be able to spend a day in the bridal chamber. But when I was troubled by my mother-in-law, I didn't have any interest at all. I couldn't help but play the drums. Stay away from your mother-in-law.
The feelings of their husband and wife are not good, and it all stems from the mother-in-law. After feeling bad, the things that come to mind are also related to her mother-in-law, and the impression of her mother-in-law is very poor, which means that if the mother-in-law does not make changes, the relationship between them will not get better.
Therefore, those who are mother-in-laws must act for themselves. They are already in their old age. Don't be greedy for money that shouldn't be greedy, otherwise it will be detrimental to yourself and the whole family. Since
talks about greedy for money, let us extend a little bit more: If you are a mother-in-law, you will not be greedy for the following three kinds of money, and your family will be harmonious. Z1z
A, the betrothal gift
, give more and less, should be determined at the time of the engagement, and the two parties should not go back on the things that are determined at the time of the engagement, otherwise it will be a lack of integrity and will be at a loss. In this case, the mother-in-law shouldn't make the daughter-in-law withdraw the gift temporarily after the daughter-in-law has passed. The daughter-in-law is definitely not willing to withdraw the gift. Not only will it conflict with you, but it will also leave a very bad impression in her heart.
only talk about normal marriages. If the mother-in-law is greedy for the bride price, it will not only offend the daughter-in-law, but also the son. Both of them will have great opinions on you. Even if you have reasonable demands later on, they will alsoWill not be willing to satisfy you, think about it for yourself, will this kind of old age life be good? Will the whole husband's family be in harmony?
Therefore, the bride price must not be greedy. If you think your daughter-in-law’s request is too high, bargaining is allowed when getting engaged. But since you have agreed and your son and daughter-in-law are already married, you shouldn’t mention the dowry. Otherwise, it would be too boring for your daughter-in-law. You will feel cheated, and the money has not been put in your pocket, mother-in-law. It's about to be taken away, what does she picture? Is marriage just to help you keep your money temporarily?
B, dowry
The dowry of the daughter-in-law is given by the maiden family. This money belongs to the daughter-in-law, not the in-laws, and those who are mother-in-laws should not worry about it.
Some mother-in-laws said, "Our family gave you a dowry, so you should marry your in-laws. This is fair!"
and other mother-in-laws said, "After you marry into your in-laws, you will be a member of your in-laws. The dowry is not for you, but for your in-laws!" Both statements of
are unreasonable. The starting point is greed.
is the same. If only talking about a normal marriage, not only will the daughter-in-law be unwilling to marry the mother-in-law, but the son will also not agree. This kind of problem will also lead to the above result. The mother-in-law not only wants money but can’t, but also talks to her son and daughter-in-law. There is a gap between them. If there is a gap, they will not be too friendly to you, which is not good for you.
Therefore, mother-in-law shouldn’t be greedy for dowry. Otherwise, stealing chicken won’t make you lose money. The gain will not be worth the loss, and you will only throw a rock on yourself in the foot.
C, the daughter-in-law’s pre-marital property
The daughter-in-law’s pre-marital property belongs to the daughter-in-law, of course. This is no longer an unreasonable issue, but a legal basis. That being the case, no one should worry about his daughter-in-law’s pre-marital property unless she volunteers to give it to you.
The daughter-in-law voluntarily gives her pre-marital property to her mother-in-law, and asks her mother-in-law to order the daughter-in-law to surrender the pre-marital property. These are two different things. There is no problem in the former case, while the latter is difficult for others. As long as the daughter-in-law is not stupid, she cannot hand over her pre-marital property obediently after being ordered by her mother-in-law. Even if she originally wanted to give the money to her mother-in-law, she would not give it after being ordered by her mother-in-law, because it feels uncomfortable to be ordered. It seems to my daughter-in-law that if she compromises on money matters, she will face more unreasonable demands later on. The reason why
says that mother-in-laws should not be greedy for the above three kinds of money, because you cannot be greedy, but because you open your mouth to ask for money, your son and daughter-in-law will recognize your unbearable side. They will respond in their hearts, and you will feel ashamed after you leave. , I feel bad too. This ending can be avoided as long as you are not greedy, so why should you be greedy for money that is not yours?
People should pay more attention to this aspect in their later years, because your relationship with your children and your daughter-in-law directly determines your quality of life in your later years. Needless to say, you should also know that if you have a good relationship with your children or a bad relationship with your children, which situation is more beneficial to you, it must be a good relationship with your children to enjoy your old age with peace of mind, so be better and cute One point is better!
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