Author: dumplings sister
01
Speaking law relationship, a lot of people are very troublesome problem. The difficulty of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is believed to be the consensus of many people.
In the past, I have always felt that as long as the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law respect and consider each other, and be more tolerant and understanding, although it is difficult to be as close as the mother and daughter, they will never be full of complaints and grievances, like enemies.
It wasn't until my girlfriend cried and complained to me that it made me understand that things are not that simple.
is a classmate of my university. Two years after graduation, she was introduced to her and married her husband. Husband
is 5 years older than his girlfriends, he is steady and practical, and has always been very good to his girlfriends. The small life of the two of them was very sweet, until the arrival of the mother-in-law broke the peace and warmth at home.
girlfriends husband is not an only child, there are two daughters on it. The mother-in-law had always lived in her hometown, and her two daughters were close to each other and would take care of her. My girlfriend's husband's father passed away when his girlfriend's husband was in junior high school. Her mother-in-law has been living alone all these years. The best friend of
at the time, in order to prepare for pregnancy, had quit her job and took care of her body at home.
mother-in-law came and was very dissatisfied.
is dissatisfied with two points: First, she feels that her girlfriend is hypocritical, others are still at work with a big belly, and she has to leave her job when she is pregnant. I also discussed it with my husband).
Second, I feel that my girlfriend is not going to work anymore. I just rely on my own son to support me. I keep telling my girlfriend that my son is too hard and want to make money alone to support the family. They are all very good, a good hand).
Although these girlfriends are not happy about it, they have always endured it.
Girlfriends are kind and innocent people, and they are kind to people. She had been thinking before that her mother-in-law was here, and she would do her best to help her husband take care of her.
However, my girlfriend slowly discovered: As long as she is happy with her husband, her mother-in-law will have a sullen face; occasionally she will quarrel with her husband, her mother-in-law will behave very happily, pulling her husband to chat of.
My girlfriend made a meal, and her mother-in-law said she wanted to be a vegetarian if there were too many meat dishes. My girlfriend is speechless, how to do it wrong.
Later, my girlfriend became pregnant, but she was also doing daily chores such as cooking, washing clothes, and mopping the floor. The mother-in-law basically doesn't do anything at home because of her poor health and high blood pressure.
Even your girlfriend has a big belly to cook for her during the third trimester...
However, during her confinement period, the mother-in-law still works as a shopkeeper. Basically, the girlfriend's mother is busy alone, and she has to take care of it. Mothers have to take care of their children. The mother-in-law said that she had a bad heart and couldn't stay up late and couldn't be tired.
is such a messy life, and it's been several years for my girlfriends.
We are not in the same city, and we have our own families. Sometimes we never see each other once a year. This time I was on a business trip to her city, and took advantage of the weekend to see her and her child, but I didn’t want her to complain to me in tears and chatted all afternoon.
To be honest, my girlfriends have grown old with the naked eye in recent years. This of course has something to do with taking care of the children full-time at home. Besides, the bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must have a great influence.
Someone might say, what is your girlfriend's husband doing, won't he coordinate to deal with it?
I also asked my girlfriend this question. Basically, his husband’s attitude has always been: My mother is not easy to be alone for so many years. She is at this age, so don’t worry about with the elderly. Besides, it's anxious: is my mother, just my son, can't you think about it for me? I marry a daughter-in-law to take care of my mother. Besides, you don’t go to work. Shouldn’t you be responsible for taking care of my mother and children?
In fact, in all fairness, my girlfriends husband is nice, caring for the family, responsible, single-minded, capable and motivated. But in terms of family, it is indeed more machismo, and sometimes a little filial piety.
02
After listening to my girlfriends complaints, I feel both distressed and emotional.
loves her kindness and dedication. can handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-lawWell, it actually depends on three aspects: mother-in-law, daughter-in-law and son.
First of all, you have to see what kind of mother-in-law you meet.
I believe that most mother-in-laws are reasonable and can put themselves in consideration for the young couple, try not to make trouble for the young couple, and then when the son and daughter-in-law need it, they will reach out to help. Although
may have different ideas and different ways of doing things, if you have empathy and understanding, I believe that many contradictions can be resolved. Many sensible mothers-in-laws are also very clear that embarrassing a daughter-in-law means embarrassing his son and making trouble for his son. Besides, why do women suffer for women?
However, I have to admit that there are indeed some mother-in-laws who are savage, unreasonable, selfish, and have a strong desire to control, etc., who have to make things difficult for their daughter-in-law, picky and provoke contradictory disputes. To deal with this kind of thing, we really can't just tolerate and give in, we must show our attitude and defend our small family.
Secondly, as a daughter-in-law, we must have more respect and understanding for her mother-in-law, and don't blindly pick and complain.
For example, the mother-in-law is definitely not obliged to take the child. So, don't take it for granted. If the mother-in-law is willing to bring children, then she really needs more gratitude and respect.
In my family’s situation, in order to help us, both parents-in-law and mother-in-law came to help us with the children. My husband and I usually pay a fixed monthly living allowance. Although they have pensions, we never give them money.
Every New Year's Day, or their birthday, we also wrap red envelopes or buy gifts as a thank you.
usually sits down and communicates when encountering inconsistent parenting concepts, and explain the reasons to the elderly. Of course, sometimes more patience is needed, but I believe most elderly people can listen.
On weekends and so on, we will give our parents-in-laws and mother-in-laws a holiday, let them go out to breathe, and my husband and I will take care of our children.
I never felt that they should help me with my children, so they can help, I have always been very grateful.
In fact, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be more harmonious if you appropriately lower expectations, be more tolerant and understanding, and understand respect and gratitude. Z3z
is the mother-in-law son, that is, the role of her husband is very important, he should play the role of a buffer.
If you really have problems getting along with your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, your husband should never stay out of it. On the contrary, he must communicate with both sides, coordinate and persuade from it, and act as a buffer.
If I usually have some ideas and it is not convenient for me to talk directly, I will talk through my husband. Many times, my son said that his mother-in-law is more acceptable, after all, is it his son.
As a daughter-in-law, you don’t have to feel wronged. If you think about it, what do you want? It is nothing more than the overall situation of family harmony and stability. There is no need to let the family fall into all kinds of conflicts and disputes for the sake of winning or losing and family trivial matters.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law needs to be managed with care, and just like falling in love, it also needs to adapt and adapt to each other. In this process, get along more, respect more, understand each other more, and consider issues more from the other side's standpoint.
But if your mother-in-law is really difficult to get along with, like my girlfriend, then I find it really difficult to get along with each other. The best way is to keep a certain distance, keep contact with each other and not disturb each other. With the distance of
, maybe it can produce a little beauty, right?
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