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01
From a conventional point of view, a kind-hearted person will behave nicely to you; a person with a bad mind will behave unkindly.
In fact, in terms of "knowing people", many times we cannot look at it from a conventional perspective, because the conventional perspective often adds "empiricalism" and "self-righteousness", which makes it easy to make mistakes.
Take the above-mentioned two kinds of people as an example. People with kind hearts don’t have all their kindness written on their faces. Sometimes they can’t judge their kindness for what they do. You need to observe carefully. Only by feeling and getting along can we know.
People with bad minds are the same. Their bad thoughts will not be written on their faces. If you just judge by feeling or experience, this kind of people will make you feel very kind, because they are before calculating you. , Tend to make some seemingly kind bedding.
02
When the following woman complained about the mother-in-law of the previous marriage, she mentioned the above-mentioned situation of “appearing to be kind, but actually not kind”, as follows:
"Before meeting the previous mother-in-law, in my In my impression, the old people gave me the impression that they were amiable, they would take care of the younger generation, and would only be good to the younger generation, and there would be no claim.
is precisely because of this preconceived perception that I was deceived by her appearance when I was in contact with my mother-in-law.
On the surface, she is similar to the old people in my mind. She is amiable. She never lacks a smile on her face when she speaks. She is also very enthusiastic and generous. Every time I go to their house, I feel that I am regarded as Guest.
After I got engaged with my ex-boyfriend, my mother-in-law’s attitude towards me became more enthusiastic, and sometimes even made me feel embarrassed and felt that I didn’t give her enough enthusiasm. Maybe she saw through my mind and felt that the time was right, so she started asking for it.
When she asked me for money, she was not in a very vicious state, but still in a state of welcoming with a smiling face, which made people embarrassed to refuse, and even thought she was so good, and it was incompetent to refuse her.
because I was taken for granted by her request at the beginning, I felt that I should respect her as a junior, and she should also grasp the "degree" well, not too much. However, I soon realized that I was wrong because her appetite was getting bigger and she asked for more and more money. Later, I didn't meet at all and called me directly to ask for money.
I have thought about telling my boyfriend to let him solve this problem. But I chose not to say it in the end, because I could think that once I said it, there would be no end to a good result: if he disagreed with me and said that it was only natural for my mother-in-law to ask me for money, I would be disappointed; He agreed with me, and he went to discipline her mother-in-law, but it was still unfavorable to me, because her mother-in-law would hate me, and I would definitely not have a good life when I got married.
I want to divorce. After communicating with my parents and getting their support, I divorced my boyfriend privately. Saying that it was a divorce is actually breaking up, because their family hasn't given me a penny yet, and I don’t need to return anything. Strictly speaking, it’s not a divorce. The mother-in-law
couldn’t possibly not know that I had divorced her son, but she pretended not to ask me for money. She still used the same tricks before, and said to me very gently and politely, "Daughter-in-law, I’m buying clothes. There is a shortage of 5,000, so call me 20,000!" From her request this time, I am sure she already knows that I am divorced. She wants to ask me the last time for money, so she asked for 20,000.
She can pretend to be stupid, but I can’t pretend to be stupid. Even though she already knows that I am retiring, I reiterate my thoughts: "Sorry, auntie, I have retired from your son and have nothing to do with your family. If you don’t owe a penny to your family, you are not qualified to ask me for money. The money you took from me before will not be paid back by you. I just ask you not to disturb me again!”
she started to be snarky and laughed He said, "Although you divorced my son, I still treat you as a daughter-in-law. In that case, the mother-in-law has asked for money. How can the daughter-in-law not buy it? Give me 20,000 yuan soon. , This is the last time, I won’t ask you for money anymore!"
I turned my face with her"Don’t say that it’s okay to remarry. The reason why I retired is because I’m fed up with your hypocrisy, fed up with your calculations. I haven’t married your son yet, and I’m not your daughter-in-law, so you I started to ask for it. If I get married, I will be gnawed by you sooner or later! It’s not just that it’s shameful to bite the old, it’s also shameful to bite the little ones, you are not the good mother-in-law I want, so, I can't give you money, goodbye!"
Part of what I said was for her, and the other part was for myself. Now that I recognize the true face of her hypocrisy, when choosing marriage in the future, I should focus on guarding against such people! "Z1z
03
The woman above has a very accurate evaluation of her mother-in-law. Her mother-in-law is indeed a hypocritical person. An obvious feature of such a person is: the more hypocritical, the more "affordable" you will be. The reason why
puts quotation marks on the three words that are worthy of view is because it is not really worthy of you, but for the purpose of calculating you. With this fact,
looked back at her mother-in-law's speech and behavior. It was even more certain that she was a hypocritical person. Her recognition, her smile, her gentleness and so on seemed to be full of kindness, all to dispel the daughter-in-law. Prepared for the calculation of his daughter-in-law.
Other people should have encountered this kind of hypocritical person too. In order to ask you to borrow money, they don’t tell you clearly, but pretend to be okay. They will get close to you first and show that they are kind to you. Looks like, after you get ready for fire fighting, then suddenly ask you.
Many people will be recruited in this situation, and I am embarrassed to refuse unreasonable requests from hypocritical people. This is actually wrong. Anyone who has had this experience should know that if you accept the other party's unreasonable request because you are embarrassed to refuse, you will regret it afterwards, be upset, and blame yourself for being soft-hearted. Those who have been calculated are annoyed by the need to understand in the future. They must be strict with themselves. If they encounter hypocritical people in the future, no matter how much they have made in the early stage, do not accept their unreasonable demands and stay away from them.
For those who have not encountered hypocritical people, you must know how to guard against them. Don't assume that you will not meet hypocritical people. You must prepare in advance. Remember: people who treat you suddenly are not necessarily kind. People, you have to know how to watch the changes. If that person is always nice to you and doesn't make unreasonable demands, you can be at ease with him. But if he suddenly makes an unreasonable request to you when he is half good, don't hesitate, he is a hypocritical person, you have to refuse and stay away.
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