When you see the title come in, don’t know if you will come in with subjective thoughts, do you think that lowering your expectations is an act of hiding your ears?
In fact, when you have this idea, you have put on your own colored glasses for lowering expectations, or lowering expectations. Because our subconscious reaction will definitely be self-deception. After all, the lower the expectation, the stronger the satisfaction will be. This is relative.
However, what I want to discuss with you today is definitely not as simple as covering your ears and stealing the bell, but an effective way to make your partner love yourself more and more in a true sense.
When you have unreasonable expectations, the relationship between you and your partner will gradually become alienated, and even the other person's love for you will begin to decrease. I think this is well understood. After all, unreasonable expectations will be considered unreasonable in life.
In fact, there is another possibility here.
We often hope that the other party can understand me. The premise of knowing you is to meet your expectations. However, when your expectations are not reasonable enough, the other party will think that you do not understand him.
This is a very interesting thing. Most of the time, we can accurately capture our own emotions, but we often ignore the emotions of the other person. No matter who this person is, no matter who you are, no matter how strong you are, there will be Omission.
Similarly, if the other party cannot meet your expectations, the other party will also have some negative emotions. These emotions affect each other.
However, what you need to pay attention to here is that it is not a reduction in expectations, but a degradation of your quality of life. These are two different things. Most of the expectations here refer to unreasonable expectations.
We can look forward to each other’s respect and respect, we can look forward to each other’s privacy, we can look forward to supporting and helping each other, and we can even look forward to our common goals and pursuits.
The so-called unreasonable expectation is a word, perfect relationship.
If we observe carefully, most of our expectations in emotional relationships are based on perfect relationships. However, in life, we habitually regard perfect relationships as reality.
Take sweet love as an example. What we see are those sweet moments, those moments that make people thrilling.
In fact, before these moments happened, how many contradictions, how many quarrels, how many running-in we didn't see, were all covered by these sweet moments.
Once we regard such sweet moments as normal in life, this is our unreasonable expectation.
, you must know that feelings have always been in a process of dynamic change. Even if the other party holds the key and tells you that this is a luxury house for you, you will only feel that the other party loves you the moment you receive the key. When you really live in the luxury house, over time, this feeling will be Fade.
Think about it carefully, whether we usually complain about our partner between the lines, is it just like this mansion?
"You weren't like this before, you used to love me more."
We will compare the past, in fact, compare the moment of heartbeat to the ordinary life. This kind of gap exists in our lives bit by bit.
In other words, the perfect relationship you see can be seen by you because the relationship is unrealistic, so it will be discovered by all of us. If all things are firewood, rice, oil and salt, you are probably not interested in understanding, you will be automatically blocked by yourself.
You must know that lowering expectations is lowering your unreasonable expectations. You want the other person to love you all the time, and the idea that you are always the center is understandable, but life does not allow this to happen.
When your unreasonable expectations decrease, you will find that you will understand each other more and more. Correspondingly, because the other person feels that you understand him, they will love you more.
The so-called stepping back and broadening the sky, I think it would be more appropriate to put it here. This is not a cover-up, but a wise approach.
Of course, lowering expectations can not only make the other person feel more comfortable, but also make yourself more comfortable.
because of less expectation,Therefore, the heart is not so easy to lose balance, the heart is stable, and the emotions naturally become more stable.
seems to be a logical relationship. The switch that triggers such behavior is our lower expectation.
However, if we lower our expectations and turn all unreasonable expectations into reasonable expectations, the other party will still be unable to meet your needs. At this time, all we should do at this time is to evaluate the relationship between each other except communication.
In fact, such things are more common in life, that is, when your expectations are reasonable, but the other party does not care at all, and even adopts a way of refusing to communicate with you. The so-called cold and warm self-knowledge, then it depends on your choice.
I know that almost everyone in an intimate relationship, no matter how they lower their expectations, everyone at least hopes that their contributions will respond to each other.
On this matter, in my personal opinion, this is an unreasonable expectation. The reason for
is very simple. Since it is the love between each other, your contribution is the basis of your relationship, and of course the other side is also. What we need is to do what we can do well. As long as we can do ourselves well, whether the other party will give feedback or not is the other party's business.
But we can make choices. For example, when the other party does not respond, we can choose to leave. This is also our own business. The emotional world of
looks simple, but the details are too elusive, but as just said, love is always in a dynamic change. All we can do is to be ourselves, and then make the right choice.
I am Li Yang, I wish you happiness.
author | Li Yang
picture source | network
graphic editor | Ayou
copyright, reprint without permission is declined
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-