entered the marriage hall, it means that your life has added a compulsory course, you have a few more roles, you become a wife, someone else’s daughter-in-law, and later you become a mother, your life Your marriage practice really begins, and your learning path really begins.
Marriage is a practice. From the moment you become a wife, this practice requires the joint management of two people. Only a marriage that is managed by each other will get better and better. In marriage, you are managing yourself at the same time. We need to run our own small family or even a big family. The society has given women many roles and responsibilities. So how do we manage our own small family? Mr. Carnegie gave six principles of a happy family in "The Weakness of Human Nature."
Less nagging, more praise
Language has energy, every word you say has a magnetic field, either positive or negative. Positive language can give strength to the other party, while negative language can only make people. Feel irritable. When two people are together, how to communicate and how to talk is the key. If you work all day during the day, it’s very hard to leave early and return late at night. When you get home, your other partner starts nagging about this thing. What about that? What about the person nagging about the unit? How about the boss? Do you feel exhausted when you have negative energy? What is the definition of home? Isn't it a harbor for the body and mind after a day of tiredness?
No matter what happens, don't use emotions to solve problems, because emotions can't solve problems at all. Use facts to express yourself, such as: "I am too tired today, my dear, can you make a bowl, you are so good". Express the facts, tell your feelings, and add praise and praise. In fact, have you found that changing two ways of saying one thing will have different results? This is the charm of language. Learn to express facts, say feelings, give the other person emotional value, less nagging, more praise, and you will find that life is actually He is willing to do all the miscellaneous things. One of the principles of
happy family life: less nagging, more praise
don’t try to change the other
Henry James once said this: "The first lesson in marriage is to learn to respect each other’s unique way of life." Everyone is an independent individual, and the two people have different lifestyles, so learn to respect everything he/she has, respect him, and accept everything about him, even his shortcomings. In class, my teacher once said: "Your shortcomings are the value of my existence." When you want to change the other person, please read this sentence silently. The effect is particularly good.
Actually, we can’t change other people. All we want to change are neurotic. We must change ourselves first. If you change, others will change and the world will change. Unless he is willing, this kind of change is meaningful, so when you change, he will find that the people around him get better and better, he will feel nervous, and naturally he is willing to change. The second principle of
happy family life: Don’t try to change the other person
don’t blame each other
sometimes blame will only make things worse, the adult world should be result-oriented, blame and cannot solve the problem. When encountering a problem, we think about how to solve it, instead of getting into blaming each other. Over time, both people will be disappointed in the marriage. Men need a sense of admiration, women need to be pampered, know each other's needs, meet the needs behind the emotions, instead of accusing them, accusations can only make a man less confident, give him a sense of presence and understand him.
Principle Three of Happy Family Life: Don't blame.
Learn to appreciate
Paul Popno once said: "Most men are not looking for a leader when looking for their other half, but are looking for someone who is willing to please them and make them feel that they are powerful. Object". Learn to appreciate each other's strengths, praise him more, support him, trust him, and look at him with a developmental perspective. As long as you believe he is great, he will work hard. Compared with women, men should appreciate all the efforts spent on makeup and clothes. Sometimes men will ignore a woman’s meticulous dressing and learn to appreciate the beauty of another partner. The more she gets the nourishment of marriage, the more Coming more and more beautiful. It’s like cooking. No matter who cooks, every time it’s delicious, it’s affirmative, and then eat more, then the other party is more interested in cooking, is it more willing to cook for you? ?
If both parties truly love each other and appreciate each other, this is a kind of happiness, someone loves you,Supporting you, admiring you, respecting you, happy marriages are all managed, not doing nothing, happiness will grow on its own.
Family Happy Life Principle 4: Sincerely appreciate the important things in the eyes of the other
sometimes disappoints the subtle things, such as you forget her birthday, your anniversary, she will be particularly unhappy, Men may express their incomprehension about why women value this kind of thing so much. The life of firewood, rice, oil and salt sometimes requires surprises and a sense of ritual. Two people have to spend decades together. If every day is an endless cycle of yesterday’s days, yes It's not particularly boring, so the ordinary life needs surprises and a sense of ritual. The subtle things are actually a kind of mind, a care and love. What cares is not the thing itself, but your attitude.
Principle 5 of a happy family life: See the truth in the subtleties.
Learning to be humble is the homework of a lifetime.
really great people are humble and low-key, because they don’t need to show off, because they know what they really have. We have all left the best side to strangers. You have left your politeness and modesty to strangers, and you have told strangers all the nice things. How about returning home? Give the worst to the family. No matter who it is, it is worthy of our respect. When we return home, we should be more polite. Take home the same patience, humility and courtesy to strangers. The husband and wife respect each other and be modest. The polite, the better the day.
Henry Clay Resner once said: “A person with humble character can see through the scarred heart of the other person and see the flowers blooming in the corner.” Humility is as important to marriage as fuel is to the engine.
Principle 6 of a happy family life: Modest and polite. Z1z
writes the last words:
happy home is like a pot of flowers, you need to take care of it, water it, love it to bloom beautiful flowers; there are thousands of definitions of happiness, but you can actively choose to make yourself happy , Instead of passively accepting, from the moment you want to change, real happiness begins. Marriage is a kind of practice. It is your fate to manage well in this life, and you may not be able to meet it in the next life.
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