90 is called the "spoiled" generation, with only child and material superiority, so it is exceptionally different since childhood. The growth trajectory of the post-90s generation coincides with the process of collision and fusion of various foreign and local cultures. Those audio-visual publications that are either dog blood or Mary Su repeatedly impact people’s brains, and, in a subtle way, The post-90s outlook on mate selection and marriage and love has an impact.
Now, the first batch of post-90s has entered its first year, and the youngest post-90s are gradually approaching the national legal marriage age. According to the "Post-90s, please answer: 30 And Li, how do you want to live? 》Survey results show that more than 55% of the post-90s are in a stable emotional state. Among them, about 22% are married. At the same time, nearly 45% of the post-90s are single.
The post-90s generation who are labeled "self" and "sensual" seem to be cold, but they have good intentions. They look like Buddhism, but in fact they are unwilling to give up, unwilling to compromise, and are unwilling to self-worth and future life. Expectations have created this generation's special attitude in the topic of emotional marriage and love.
, the firm
dressed in a "Buddha style" coat. Come to think of it, in the past eight years, born in 1991, she has only experienced a serious relationship.
In the first few years when she came to Beijing, Yuan Yi was busy adapting to the rhythm of Beijing and the rhythm of work. She had no time to take care of the people around her and the big city. For Yuan Yi, the physical space is actually limited to the distance from the work unit to home. . But like the reality that every Beidiao can’t avoid, Yuan Yi travels to each rental house. At this time, the loss and loneliness in his heart are like large bags of luggage on his shoulders—not always visible, but again Like a shadow. It was also during the two moves of
that the initiative and enthusiasm of colleague X made Yuan Yi feel safe and trustworthy. Soon after, Yuan Yi and X were together.
However, happiness came suddenly and left in a hurry. This relationship only lasted for more than a year. In 2017, X disappeared from Yuan Yi's life after helping Yuan Yi to change houses and move houses. For a long time, Yuan Yi did not get out of the shadow of this relationship.
Yuan Yi feels that after experiencing the end of a whole-hearted and dedicated relationship, it seems that it is already difficult for him to welcome new relationships with a complete heart and full attitude.
"I'm afraid of repeating the same mistakes, but time tells me that I can no longer drift by myself." In the past two years, as the years have grown, the 30-year-old has been placed there like a hurdle. Whether it is pressure from the traditional world or the wandering heart who wants to dock at the dock, Yuan Yi is trying to make positive changes.
In 2019, after work, Yuan Yi threw out nearly 50,000 yuan to apply for guitar class, piano class and gym. On the one hand, he wanted to build his own external image. On the other hand, Yuan Yi also wanted to expand his social circle. However, things backfired. Except for Yuan Yi's weight not rising under the supervision of the fitness coach, other effects were far from reaching Yuan Yi's expectations.
At the beginning of this year, an epidemic disrupted Yuan Yi’s original rhythm of life, and all the chaotic classes were suspended. The tense string in Yuan Yi's mind suddenly loosened. Looking back at his own "torsion" last year. , Yuan Yi suddenly felt a little ridiculous.
"In the final analysis, my eager desire to get out of the singles is just a product of being kidnapped by age. And the foundation of good feelings and stability should be a matter of course, and the two love each other." After the epidemic, Yuan Yi rejected All amateur interest classes, wait for the flowers to bloom.
In modern society, regardless of male or female, the emotional state of being over-cared for at a certain age has become a normal state. It seems that at a certain age, feelings that are not stable are alien.
Because of this, people who can always stick to themselves are more admirable. From the survey results, most of the post-90s are just such a group of rational and persistent people who are obsessed with true love. 56% of the respondents are not in a hurry for success. It is to welcome pure feelings with a "fate" mentality. In their view, age is a number and has no practical meaning. The increase in age should not and can not represent the old thinking.
Being single can be free and easy, marriage is not a fairy tale
Bonnie in Shenzhen likes this cityThere are many reasons, including income, buildings and the Bay Area. But she prefers the atmosphere of freedom, which is mainly manifested in thought and attitude. People around
are also curious about the emotional state of a beautiful and capable woman like Bonnie, but after learning that she is a single lady, they don't care too much about when she can get married and have children.
Bonnie often declines roundabout introductions from friends, she understands everyone’s kindness, but looking at herself in the mirror, it’s easy to underestimate the age of this face under delicate makeup: 30? 28? 25? After all,
is in Shenzhen, young can be very sophisticated, mature can also be very naive. The reason
Bonnie rejects friends is that the people they introduce are often not “interesting” with the people they make. The reason for
is actually more real, in Bonnie’s words: “Although I don’t have a boyfriend, I don’t lack a man.” The second half of
is worthy of patience. It includes those who are not successful, secret lovers, but hesitate. The little fresh meat before, and the ambiguous married man who can't really happen to anything-although there is no real suitable partner, Bonnie is really not lonely.
"The crisis of love and marriage does not exist in Shenzhen." Bonnie's answer was full of free and easy, "Who can control who in the big city? I can't worry about my own affairs!"
Bonnie just came to Shenzhen to work. In the first two years, I saved money and bought a small two-bedroom apartment in the neighboring Dongguan. In 15 years, a designer friend helped her decorate a small art space. In Bonnie’s own words, “There is no shortage of spirit and material. What do men need to do in such a small day?”
Although the works that render the “leftover men and women” in the city’s panic and lonely figures have earned a lot of social attention . But the reality is that single men and women in big cities do not develop according to the script, and often live well.
The single post-90s group similar to Bonnie is like tropical fish, living in the colorful urban coral reef with ease.
Their lives are not monotonous. For many years in the big cities, they often have double business and they are good at rational planning for the future of themselves: a pricey insurance; holding a real estate even if not The city where you live is also a place with potential in the future; pay attention to health, regular physical examinations, and have personal training services for fitness; invest in yourself, from a package of 20,000 to a class of 300; transform into a guardian of parents, once a family Travel, high-priced health care products from overseas...
is still in the window period. When asked if he is satisfied with the current emotional state, Bonnie responded with a slightly upward tone: "Of course!"
Judging from the results of the questionnaire, 50% of the audience gave the same answer as Bonnie, and nearly 30% of the respondents said they were not satisfied, and 20% said they did not feel it.
Of course, as in our survey, only 45% of post-90s single groups account for 55% of groups whose emotions have a stable affiliation. But real life is not a fairy tale after all, and emotional maintenance is not once and for all. For the 55% of the interviewees, perhaps only one can experience the taste.
Cohabitation, finding a more comfortable "posture" for intimacy
Like 57.63% of post-90s, Xixi is unwilling to accept marriage, but unfortunately, he does not refuse to take the initiative to introduce blind dates to acquaintances. At the beginning of the year, Mr. Z introduced by relatives succeeded in capturing the heart of Xixi Fang with his interesting soul. After six months of inspection of Mr. Z, the two officially met in July.
upholds the attitude of not playing hooligans and being responsible for each other. After three months of dating, Xixi and Mr. Z lived together. The house where
lives together is a second-hand house bought by Mr. Z six years ago. It is simply decorated. The inside and outside corners of the house reveal the restraint, rationality and order of a single man of science. After
Xixi moved in, the two discussed replacing the game table in the study with a long desk, which is where they spend most on weekends. The two-meter-long desktop allows two people to sit in a row. On the left is his boyfriend’s desktop computer, which is his happy gaming area, while Xixi uses the empty desktop on the right to read books, chase dramas, or tease cats. This is where the whole family spends time. .
In living together, two people will createCreate some sense of ritual. For example, every one or two weeks, I will find time to go out on a date, dress up carefully, choose an atmospheric restaurant, and live in a two-person world without cats.
On weekdays, Sissi doesn’t like the smell of cooking fumes in the kitchen. Mr. Z, who used to sell out for a living, has studied cooking and made family recipes by himself. Every time he sees Mr. Z cooking awkwardly and earnestly in the kitchen, The happiness in Sissi's heart spread like smoke in the kitchen.
Every Friday night is the night of the fat house where Xixi and Mr. Z can’t move. Both of them like to watch variety shows. Xixi lay on Mr. Z’s lap, enjoying the fruit that Mr. Z delivered to his mouth. The two followed the variety show. Have a belly laugh, and talk about the performance of the guests on the show from time to time. Tucao + laughter is the happiest and most relaxing leisure time. After cohabiting with
, Xixi felt very calm and stable psychologically, and more importantly, two people could cultivate interests and habits together. For example, playing games and playing cats together, Mr. Z himself has no particular preference, but gradually getting involved, two people together is double the fun.
"The intersection of life has increased dramatically, and the emotional experience and things that can be chattered with each other have become more and more abundant, which has further consolidated the feeling of stability." Now, Xixi's heart is full and at ease.
Actually, it has become a common thing to live together before marriage like Xixi this year. The results of the questionnaire show that only 10% of the respondents think that cohabitation before marriage is inappropriate, and 90% of the respondents can accept cohabitation before marriage.
living together is a "trial marriage", the test is whether the magnetic field of two people can be adjusted to a harmonious rhythm. This kind of harmony includes not only living habits, ways of doing things, character and sexual coordination, but also patience for plainness.
After all, if you have been with you under the same roof day and night, you know if the person in front of you is your sweetheart.
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