My brother-in-law has been married for less than a year, and there are constant conflicts. I didn’t know that they were working hard until I moved out.

-01-

My name is He Yue, and I will talk about my family. My brother and my sister-in-law were introduced to each other and got married in less than a year. My sister-in-law was married for the second time and divorced for six years.

should be divorced at the age of 26. I only know that she went to the court to sue her. As for the reason, no one knows the reason. There was a boy who followed his father.

got married in August this year, and I have been out of town, and only went home in July this year. The

house belongs to my parents, but they don’t often go home. They usually come back once a month. Most of the time at home, my brothers and sisters-in-law live with me.

Before I went back, I was thinking, can I handle the relationship between my aunts?

When I first started, I felt pretty good. This sister-in-law has a good personality.

knows how to measure, she has a little conflict with her brother, as long as my brother goes to coax her and give her down the steps, she will go down.

really admired her at the time and felt that she was not as good as her. Sometimes I quarrel with my partner, and he has to coax me for a long time, and I am not forgiving everywhere.

However, a few things happened later, and it felt a bit wrong.

1. Once I had a stomachache, a toothache, and a cold. I'm working, and my brother and sister-in-law are not working at home. My brother asked me what I want to eat for lunch, and I said that I want to eat porridge and potato shreds.

Then my brother went to buy vegetables and cook. My sister-in-law seems to be suffering from constipation and her stomach is uncomfortable, so I asked my brother to buy her some medicine back.

My brother said that you are not feeling well. I will accompany you to the hospital. As a result, she said, "If your sister asks you to buy anything, you will buy everything. If I call you to buy, you will not buy. (This is what my brother told me)

2, my brother went to wash his teeth next to a big supermarket, and my sister-in-law went together. After washing, my sister-in-law suggested to go to the supermarket.

My brother meant at the time, what is there to go shopping in the supermarket. My sister-in-law is upset again, saying that your sister tells you to visit the supermarket and you go, but if I tell you, you won't go.

Then she drove away, and my brother took the bus home by himself. In fact, since I came back, I have never been to the supermarket with my brother. (This is what my brother said to me)

3. Once I was angry with my cousin and was getting angry, but my sister-in-law took the rose tea I bought to take a bath.

rose tea was used to drink, but she didn't ask to take it to the bath, I yelled at her angrily, she also choked a few words back. Then, she ran away from home and blocked my phone.

Later, I thought I yelled at my sister-in-law, and I was embarrassed, so I wanted to apologize to her.

As a result, she ran away from home and blacked me out. Then in the middle of the night, my brother and I went to get her back. After the incident of

, I have stayed away from her.

4. On weekends, the three of us are all at home. I got up at 8 or 9 o'clock, and my sister-in-law did not get up until 11 o'clock.

My sister-in-law walked to the living room and saw that I was busy, and then went into their room again. My brother got up and saw that the door of my room was open, so I asked my sister-in-law, where's my sister? Sister-in-law

said, in the living room, you are afraid of her running away. Brother said, yes. Sister-in-law said, then you are afraid I will run away. (My brother didn't hear this sentence clearly, but my brother still replied, um)

Just like this, my brother is cooking in the kitchen and I am still busy with my affairs, so my sister-in-law went out angrily.

When she came back, my brother couldn't coax me no matter how hard it was. As a result, my brother didn't go to work that day. She was in a better mood at night. I said, let's go and invite you two out for dinner.

Then I went out for barbecue with her, and my brother drove to earn money. I asked her when I was having a barbecue, what did my brother say in the morning, which made her unhappy for a long time.

She told me that my brother didn't give her a positive reply in the morning. She understood that my brother was afraid of his sister running away and not afraid of his wife running away. She felt that she was not at home. I'm so speechless.

5. Today, she angered me to the point that my whole body was numb and my fingers couldn't straighten out.

I went to eat snacks with her last night, she said, tomorrow we will go to Chengdu to play together, I said okay, it happened that I would also rest tomorrow.

I only reacted to it at night. Tomorrow I have something to deal with. When my brother comes back, I tell him, tomorrow you will go to Chengdu by yourself. I won’t go, it’s too late to come back, and I still have things to do.

never communicated with his sister-in-law.

Sister-in-law is sleeping todayI didn't get up until 11 o'clock. She got up and I was already preparing lunch.

When eating, my brother said that the three of us had dinner and went to Chengdu. First, we went to two big furniture stores. My sister wanted to buy a bookcase, and then sent my sister-in-law to school at five or six o'clock (my sister-in-law is studying Accounting class), my brother and I drove back first, and my sister-in-law took the subway back after class.

My sister-in-law said, you can’t wait a little longer, my brother said, I can’t wait for you every time, for more than two hours, I was there like a fool and it was very cold.

I found that the atmosphere was not right, so I said, "You two go there, I still have something to leave, and then I stopped talking.

After my sister-in-law had finished eating, she threw the dishes on the table as if she lost her temper, and then entered the room, and my brother went in to coax her after eating.

I heard the tone of both of them were bad, and then my brother came out of the living room to smoke one by one. I was a little embarrassed and went to wash the dishes.

When I was washing the dishes, the more I thought about it, the more angry I became. The sister-in-law made it specifically for me to show me. I didn't know how to satisfy her. At that time, I wanted to throw the bowl and get angry, but later I managed to control it.

I wanted to be the same as before, they would make trouble, I don't care, but I was afraid that they made trouble because of me.

I think the three of them are at home, so I'm talking about it. I went to my sister-in-law’s room and said you were going to class, my brother and I would go shopping. When you finish class, she said no, she drove there by herself.

I said, sister-in-law, don't two people quarrel frequently, they will quarrel with each other. If you have anything to say, she said there is nothing to say.

I said, do you think my brother puts me first in everything? She said it was.

and without hesitation, blurted out. (I’m so surprised and distressed to hear this)

Later I said a lot of truth, that no one in the family treats you as an outsider, and my brother doesn’t put me first in everything. Enter, the tone has been very bad.

I shed a few tears, but she yelled at me directly, don’t shed tears in front of me. I am married to your house in the second marriage, I am an outsider. When she said this, I cried and said, whether you believe it or not, no one at home treats you as an outsider.

I came out, ready to receive water to drink, and then I became more angry, holding the cup in both hands and shaking up, I really wanted to get angry, I went to the kitchen and threw all the four freshly cleaned bowls.

Then I went into my room and saw that the mirror was uncomfortable and fell. My sister-in-law came out of her room and took her two cups and fell in the living room.

I didn't care about her either. I felt numb all over my body, my hands and feet couldn't be fixed. Gasping for breath, I almost fainted.

But it's okay, it will be fine in a few minutes. I didn't feel uncomfortable at all, there were no other emotions, and no sulking.

After I adjusted, when I went out to sweep the floor, my brother called me to apologize to my sister-in-law, and I said, apologize, why. Brother

said, because you dropped something, I said, I didn't hit her again, and she also fell, why should I apologize?

was just not worth it for my brother at the time. He had done a lot for my sister-in-law, but my sister-in-law could not see at all. I always felt that my brother gave all his love to my sister, and our family treated her as an outsider.

originally planned to go out to rent a house, but then I thought about why I moved out. This is my parents' house. She really couldn't get used to it. She moved when she wanted to.

just thought of me coming back and seeing her and my brother's way of getting along, I felt like my brother got married and came back.

Of course, everyone’s getting along is different. I can’t comment on their getting along. I just don’t know what to do to make her feel that we don’t treat her as an outsider.

I'm thinking, is it true that my brother and I have never been in contact with each other, I ran away from home alone, and has nothing to do with her, will she live with my brother? Only if I am away, will she think that my brother will serve her wholeheartedly? Girl

-02-

, take the matter of going to Chengdu as an example. My sister-in-law proposed to go to Chengdu, and then only told your brother that you can’t go to Chengdu, but the message given by your brother is to buy the bookcase with you first, and then give it away Sister-in-law goes to class. If you have something to come back tonight, your brother will send you back. Sister-in-law, come back by yourself.

The arrangements here are all arranged according to your itinerary. And when you came back in broad daylight, your brother sent it, and when your sister-in-law came back, it should be dark. My brother said she was afraid of the cold, so let her come back by herself. It was dark and cold at night. It's not surprising that your sister-in-law is angry about this arrangement.

Your sister-in-law can't accept you crying and you are wronged, because she thinks she is the wronged person, she yells at you, you can't accept the yelling from sister-in-law, and you start to smash the bowl, and your hands are numb with anger and almost gasp Not angry. Your reaction was really big and scary.

Your brother really cares about you, and even pleases you, maybe it's you, maybe he's used to it. You have a fierce temper. If you are angry with your cousin, you can get angry with your sister-in-law, and you can throw a bowl and a bowl. The movement is quite loud, and you can't help being angry with your boyfriend. It seems that you are very angry, angry, confused, and you can talk about it endlessly.

Why are you in a hurry, because you are not easy to deal with, your sister-in-law is easy to deal with. At the same time, you didn't take your sister-in-law seriously, because at the beginning you said that your sister-in-law was divorced, and that he had been in a lawsuit and had children. Since the conditions are so bad, why would your brother marry? What is your brother's situation is not mentioned.

has said so much about your sister-in-law's negative bottom, what do you want to say? You or your family just thought it was not worth it, and you also said it was not worth it for your brother. She is an underestimated outsider, and the more she conceals, the more true it is. Girl

, since you have come to ask for help, let’s not make a mistake. Your emotional management needs to be improved, and you have to think more empathically. There is a little boundary with your sister-in-law.

-03-

My sister-in-law got married in August and fell in love for no more than a year. That means we are still in love, or at least the sister-in-law still wants to live in the two-person world with her brother. Worry about my sister-in-law, you must worry about your sister-in-law when you go out to play, and you have to worry about your sister-in-law, of course you are not happy.

Newly-married couple, you are just a sister-in-law, don’t get together every day, otherwise soon after you get married, your brother will live with your husband and you will stay with your husband and wife. You see how you do it. How to do it

So when you first went back, your sister-in-law and your brother got along very well. They didn’t quarrel, and they were able to reconcile very quickly. Then after you stay at home for a period of time, the two of them won’t work. According to the method of controlling variables, you can know, at least It has a certain relationship with you.

What you say is based on your own standpoint, which must be biased towards yourself, but you can also see that there are only a few problems. First, your sister-in-law obviously likes your brother very much, so you have a stronger control. As for you, it is an accident that you said that you took your roses.

Secondly, your brother is a nasty critic. Not only does he spread the word, but I guarantee that he definitely said a lot of things that express you more importantly and love you when he is with your sister-in-law.

Third, you do. You must know this. Moreover, you didn't throw a bowl after a fight. After a long time, you went to throw a bowl. Don't you think your behavior is very nervous and hostile?

In summary, my solution is to either sew up your brother's mouth or live it separately. You and your sister-in-law don’t have a big problem, your brother is a purebred stirrer. How do you say

, the crow only sees that others are black, but cannot see that they are black. Don’t you know what you look like at home? I said I had a bad temper, and my boyfriend needed a long time to coax me when I was angry. Sister

, give your brother and your sister-in-law a little space. Once again, what about brother-in-law, don’t ask too much. It’s enough to manage yourself. You can throw a bowl. It’s amazing. The sister-in-law fell on her own before she fell. .

It’s not fragrant to go out to rent a house by herself. She also moved out if she wants to move. Sister, why are you so good? You haven’t treated others as an outsider yet. Hey, there is such a little girl who would rather move out with her husband.

So:

1 can’t live with my sister-in-law, it’s easy to have conflicts, and the distance will produce birth;

2, my brother is a fool, and the words are passed on both sides;

3. It’s also a bit of a problem to belong to character

4, my sister-in-law is small-minded, my brother can’t do anything.

To be objective and fair, based on what you described, I personally think that sometimes you do not stand in the position of your sister-in-law and lack empathy.

z2What's more, people often only speak from their own perspective when describing things, and they must only say what they are willing to say. Therefore, I personally think that your best course is to be a little transparent in your sister-in-law's relationship, and to ask your brother-in-law to do things for you less in front of your sister-in-law, otherwise it will cause unnecessary jealousy of your sister-in-law.

And so is your brother, both learn tongues and can't handle things.

3 people are confused. Your brother tells you what his wife is complaining about you. Where is the starting point?

Does this ambiguity make you feel uncomfortable with your sister-in-law? From this point of view, your sister-in-law thinks that your brother's preference for you may not be out of nothing.

Secondly, your sister-in-law probably thinks that your brother can’t figure out everyone’s home, so he feels unhappy, but he doesn’t know how to solve the problem, so she shows her dissatisfaction by playing tricks. ".

Once again, I feel that your sister-in-law is just playing tricks, and she is also attacking your brother, which is her own husband. If you really want to say that she has done something big, it's okay. Instead, you took a very improper way (throwing a bowl and throwing a mirror) to get angry. In my opinion, this behavior is indeed very nonsense.

Finally, your brother got married. To put it bluntly, he and your sister-in-law are in two families with you. It is important to have a good sense of boundary. If you say you have a partner, the explanation is not too small. You must learn not to participate in their husband and wife. Regarding the two, think about it in another way. You live with your partner, and your brother also lives with you. Do you think that over time, something can happen between your brother and your partner?

You said that this house belongs to your parents. If you want to move, your sister-in-law will also move. This is also a problem. It should be that your sister-in-law and your brother will move together and let them go out to rent or provide for the house. Or if you can accept it, talk to them and let them give you a subsidy. You go out to rent a house.

Remember, there can be no outsiders in the two-person world for a long time. This is an unbreakable truth. The matter between two people can be resolved no matter what, once it is mixed with other people, the originally simple things will become complicated.