Wen|Slightly smiled
"If you are good to others, others will treat you well", this is the principle of being a human being taught by my parents.
is born as a human being, kindness is certainly a good quality. But there is a major premise for this truth: , your kindness, must be a bit sharp.
If you give unreservedly, the other party will probably take your kindness for granted, and even make more excessive demands. Don't let your kindness turn into a kind of weakness, hurt yourself and your family.
This is true in the workplace and even more so in married life.
However, many women do not understand this truth, mistakenly thinks: as long as I treat him well and are willing to give, he will treat me well.
kind-hearted them, so slowly lost their due respect and happiness in marriage.
01
Li Xiang, 30 years old this year, has a 5-year-old son.
Since she married Zhao Feng, she has changed from a soft girl who everyone loves to a full-time wife who suffers from gains and losses.
Over the years, Li Xiang and Zhao Feng have been working in the same way as men and women in charge of internal affairs and division of labor.
didn't expect that Zhao Feng would come home late this summer because of his job promotion, and even occasionally stayed out all night, showing little concern for Li Xiang and his children.
Like Li Xiang suspected, Zhao Feng betrayed his marriage and got along with the company's female colleague. After the incident was revealed, Li Xiang cried and made trouble, but Zhao Feng did not show too much guilt. He just said indifferently: " didn't want to, let's get a divorce! "
As a full-time housewife, Li Xiang has long been lost She is helpless and helpless with the ability and courage to return to the workplace.
So, she cried with her mother-in-law and mother, but the mother-in-law blamed all the blame on Li Xiang: " must be that you don’t care enough about him, so he wants to find comfort outside! "
Li Xiang’s mother told her "Z4z men are all like this, so bear with them for your children. You are in your 30s. If you are divorced, you may not be able to take your children away. Where can you find a good next home? "
. Li Xiang chose to be patient and tolerate, and did his best to be nice to Zhao Feng. He was so cold and caring for him. It seemed that Zhao Feng had feelings outside of marriage and had never happened before.
Li Xiang suppressed his emotions, just hoping to save Zhao Feng's heart and let her husband return to the family.
However, Zhao Feng didn't appreciate it, and instead bored Li Xiang even more.
After countless dealings, Zhao Feng directly showed up and decided to divorce. He indifferently said to Li Xiang: , "Don’t toss, you are a hypocritical woman. I betrayed my marriage, and you are so good to me, too hypocritical. , This kind of marriage scares me. What do you want to do, really, I don’t love you anymore, how bad do you want to let me go? Divorce, I’m fed up! Z5z"
said After finishing, Zhao Feng sneered a few times and left, leaving only Li Xiang, who was crying.
In this marriage, Li Xiang is undoubtedly kind. For Zhao Feng’s badness, she tolerated, accepted, and compromised one by one. She only hopes to have a complete family without love but at least for her own sake. their child.
It is a pity that there is no sharp kindness, and it will only hurt myself, but it is a tragedy in exchange for step by step.
In marriage, it is sad to be so kind that there is no bottom line, and unconditional compromise is a kind of indulgence.
Your kindness, you must have a bottom line, you must be principled, and you must be sharp. Only in this way can you truly protect yourself.
02
Seeing this, you may ask: What if you are not kind in the face of your partner's betrayal?
Answer: Then be selfish, rational, and smart.
Many women, especially weak housewives like Li Xiang, face such sudden family changes, they have difficulty calming down, weigh the pros and cons, and respond rationally.
This is not to blame for them. After all, because of the differences in the division of labor, social status and emotional needs among women, they are more dependent on marriage than men and are more kind.
actuallyIn the face of the husband’s emotions outside of marriage, the best way is to grab as much money and custody of the children as possible while the husband is still guilty, divorce quickly, and maximize benefits.
However, Li Xiang in the case is unable to divorce, so this is not the ending she wants.
chooses to forgive, not to divorce, there is no shame, it is just a choice. When considering whether to get a divorce, the most important thing is that thinks about how to live in the future, not to save or avenge the wrong partner.
Li Xiang's fault is too kind, but he doesn't have the slightest edge.
is unable to be financially independent and personality is difficult to be independent. He has always treated his partner with kindness and grievances, which will only make him lose his due family status and attractiveness in this marriage.
Your husband has clearly hurt you, so you have to repay your grievances with virtue and treat him twice. This is against human nature and makes the other person self-righteous. They don't cherish you even more and want to escape from this marriage.
In marriage, it's not that you treat each other twice, others will treat you well, cherish you, and love you more.
Marriage is not maintained by "you are good to him". When a man betrays his marriage, it proves that the relationship has come to an end. A man like Zhao Feng is not worthy of Li Xiang being kind to him without a bottom line.
In my opinion, if Li Xiang needs to live in the shell of marriage for the time being and do not want to divorce, then he should not divorce first and focus more on himself instead of Zhao Feng.
A man with character problems is not worthy of your kindness.
can choose to forgive, but you need to devote more time and energy to yourself, and think more about how you can make money and live your own life independently after divorce in the future, so that you can grow up quickly and exercise your ability to live in this society. , Without being attached to this unreliable man.
People who are too kind are fanciful and easy to get hurt.
There are sharp and kind people who are hard-core and deserve respect.
woman, you have to be strong.
You must know that marriage is also a part of this snobbery society, and you have to be confident and live openly no matter when and where.
Faced with the crisis of marriage, don't underestimate yourself, don't bluff, take a big step forward, and love yourself.
must bear in mind: too kind in marriage, don't get it!
Finally: Marriage is not easy, do it and cherish it, I wish everyone a happy family.
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