Author: Mr. Slow
01 preface
friend Juan divorce.
When she was crying and crying to me and told me about it for comfort, I didn't show much surprise. Because the first time she took her boyfriend to dinner with me, I saw the clues.
It was the first time I saw her boyfriend. She was very white and tall. To be honest, I had a good impression of him. However, one of his actions during the meal made my impression of him greatly reduced.
ate a buffet that time, and after finding the place, her boyfriend sat directly inside. Since it is a buffet, you need to take everything yourself.
Juan’s boyfriend has been sitting there to eat, and Juan has been busy feeding him all the time. He is like a young master, and my friend Juan is like a nanny. This is the first time I have seen such a boy. Arrived, out of the concern of my friend, after eating, I secretly pulled Juan aside and asked her if she had thought about marrying the other party.
juan said to me happily that the two of them are already discussing marriage.
all said that I would rather demolish ten temples and not ruin a marriage. I hope my worries are superfluous. However, later events have proved that my worries are not unfounded.
After marrying, Juan treats her husband even better, but her husband is still so indifferent to her. Marriage is not like falling in love. It's more about facing up, and the troubles of life will make you feel emotionally broken.
When Juan was busy in the kitchen, her husband Ge You lay paralyzed on the sofa to play games; when Juan worked overtime until late at night and finally returned home, her husband was already lying in bed, no matter whether she was hungry or not; When Juan's stomach hurts to the point that a person curled up in a corner and looked embarrassed, her husband didn't even give a symbolic greeting...
In an argument, Juan broke out completely, and the injustice accumulated in her heart was completely revealed. Driven by emotions, she ended her marriage.
02 is too good for the other half, it will only destroy the marriage
We have always emphasized that giving is a virtue, but in reality, especially in marriage, being too good to each other will only destroy the marriage relationship.
has never been a truly great person who doesn't care about giving. When you try to give, you actually have a kind of expectation in your heart. You expect your contribution to get the other party's response, and you expect the other party to treat you in the same way.
The higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment. When one day, you accumulate enough disappointments, you will be aggressive. Li Ronghao's lyrics read: "To keep you warm, I broke my wings. I encountered those sufferings, but you just sat and watched."
When you have paid a lot for the other party, but the other party still does not respond, or even indifferent, your heart will become unbalanced.
If your heart is out of balance, you will show a kind of aggressiveness. I'm so good to you, why don't you show it at all?
My friend Juan is like that. In her marriage, she has always been a giver. She has been making unilateral efforts, but she has not received a response. When
does not get a response, she loses the motivation to give. The injustice accumulated in the heart will become the energy of attack. When experiencing a bit of quarrel, all abilities will become the most hurtful weapon. Then this relationship is in danger.
In a husband and wife relationship, if the other party is sick, you always rush to the front and help him deal with various things, but when you are sick, the other party does not care about anything, then what would you think? Will
be lost? Will you be disappointed? Loss and disappointment exist. The reason why you have such emotions is actually because you are so kind to each other. You have an expectation of the other person, hoping that the other person treats you the same way, but you are disappointed.
This kind of disappointment will continue to accumulate, and one day you can’t bear it yourself, so it’s time to part.
03 Want to keep marriage fresh, we must be good and have a degree.
people are very good at numbing animals, and they are very ignorant of what is easy to get, and don’t know how to cherish it. It's the same in marriage. When you don't care about paying by yourself, all kinds of bottomless good to him are not love, but a kind of harm. Over time, hidden dangers will be laid for marriage.
want to keep your marriage fresh for a long time, then you only need to doOne thing is that you can be good to the other party, but such goodness has a limit. The so-called limit is not to exceed what you are good to yourself.
Only if you treat yourself better than you treat each other, then you will not have too high expectations in your heart. In this case, even if the other party does something that cannot satisfy you, your inner gap will not be too great. There is not much difference in your heart, and you will not be too disappointed. This is a kind of wisdom.
When you try to be nice to yourself, rather than blindly to the other person, then the other person will be able to perceive your kindness keenly. He will cherish and know gratitude.
is like an old saying that people have certain inferiorities, those who cannot get are always in turmoil, and those who are favored have no fear. Not only does learning require wisdom, but the maintenance of marriage also requires wisdom. Therefore, if you want your marriage to be happy and keep a long-term freshness, then you need to do this and stick to it.
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