Tell you from the direction of marriage psychology: stop being trapped by love, life can be more exciting by subtraction

originally thought that the lives of our old couples and wives would be very happy. Unexpectedly, because of a trivial matter, all my hard work was burned and turned into a betrayal...

I am 28 years old, my profession is a teacher, and my husband is 39 years old. Business owner. Her husband was divorced once, and there was a daughter who followed his ex-wife. At the beginning, I was attracted by my husband's elegant demeanor. Although my parents opposed it, I still insisted on marrying him. Facts have proved that my choice is not bad. My husband is very considerate to me and generous to my parents, buying a house and a car for them.

Two years ago, his ex-wife was seriously ill and his daughter started to live with us. The teenage child is in the rebellious period. I find it difficult to get along with her, but I try to tolerate it. I can't stand it. I will complain to my husband. At the beginning, my husband comforted me. Who knows that I am angry and make me bear more. But later, if I just say "no" to his daughter, he will be anxious with me, saying that I am an adult and careless about a child.

I was very angry and felt that he didn't care about me as much as before, and when I married him, I didn't know to live with his daughter, so I was not mentally prepared. All kinds of negative emotions were accumulated in my heart, and finally after a bickering, I broke out completely, packed my things and returned to my natal family. Two weeks later, he came to pick me up and was scolded by my dad. He didn't speak at the time. I thought he knew he was wrong. Unexpectedly, after returning home, he told me that if I can't accommodate his daughter, then divorce. If I don't want to divorce, he must accept his daughter unconditionally.

Now, my parents feel that I am unworthy, my husband is very cold towards me, and my husband and daughter regard me as a natural enemy. Teacher Xu Chuan, I feel suffocated. How can I improve my relationship with my husband?

Xu Chuan: Hello, lady

. For love, you are not afraid of the age gap and your husband's marriage history, and marry him without hesitation. You really paid a lot. Originally you won your own happiness, but with the arrival of your husband and daughter, it was destroyed. You are very hurt, I love you very much. You want to improve your relationship with your husband, so let's first look at the problems in your marriage.

First of all, because of too much grievance in your heart, you went back to your natal home, and your father scolded your husband. I think you want him to be aware of his mistakes. This is human nature. But in this case, can he know what's wrong? Being scolded is an aggressive behavior. After being scolded by your father, he becomes more angry and feels that you can't tolerate his daughter. So when you go home, he will say such serious things to you and become more indifferent to you.

Secondly, they all say "stepmother is not good", which makes sense. The arrival of your husband and ex-wife and daughter has exceeded your expectations, and she is in a rebellious period, and may have natural hostility towards you. When you both have emotions, conflicts will inevitably arise. I know, your taste is very uncomfortable. When you complain to your husband, have you considered his feelings? Perhaps among the three of you, he is the most difficult one. At first he was willing to reassure both sides, but when he found that no matter what he did, the contradiction would not disappear, he had to make a choice. His wife could change, but his daughter could not. The current situation may be the situation after he made his choice.

Finally, if you want to continue your marriage with your husband, you must not only get along with your husband more wisely, but also find ways to solve his daughter's problems. It's best if you can be a completely selfless stepmother, but that would be too wrong to yourself. In fact, I have some good methods here, which can not only harm the interests of the three of you, but also make the three of you live together peacefully. If you want to know how to do this, I am willing to tell you my experience and guide you out of the emotional dilemma. , No more anxiety!