I slapped my mother-in-law, but I really didn't mean it. The cause of the
thing is actually very simple. Last week, my husband was on a business trip, and I was too busy with work. The children over 3 years old were left unattended, so my husband asked her mother-in-law to help with the children.
On the morning of the weekend, because I was tired from working overtime the night before, I wanted to sleep in. But early in the morning, my mother-in-law knocked on the door outside to wake me up for breakfast. When I reluctantly got up and sat at the table, my heart was already faintly angry.
just picked up the rice spoon, she started chattering about me again: what young people don’t take their body seriously, don’t eat breakfast, and children cry, don’t care..., I was still silent at first, just The spoon stirred in the bowl round and round, and the fire in my heart grew stronger.
Finally, when the child started crying nearby, the anger rushed to the forehead. I threw the spoon and yelled at her: "You are endless!"
She was shocked by me for a few seconds, back The queen quarreled with me without stopping. The more we quarreled, the more fierce we were. At this time, I saw the child crying in her arms. I waved my hand and wanted to hug the child, but I didn't expect it to be just right on her face.
I come from a family of martial arts, and I have practiced a few punches and kicks. My hand strength may be stronger than that of ordinary people. I heard a crisp sound. She was slapped to the ground by me. Fortunately, the child fell into her arms.
I repeatedly said sorry, and hurried to help her and the child. The mother-in-law shook my hand away, put the child on me, covered her face, stood up and ran into the room, and then left with her luggage.
I regret it at the moment, I want to chase her, but the child is in my hands. I called her to apologize, but she didn't answer. I want to call my husband, but I am afraid that he can't explain it clearly and he blames me even more. He is the only child, or a filial son, you know I slapped his mother, whether it was intentional or unintentional, he would definitely not forgive me easily.
Actually, my husband and I have been married for 5 years, because my mother-in-law doesn’t live with us very often, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not very good, and we can still get along. This time, because of my husband’s business trip, she lived with me Within a few days, this happened unexpectedly.
Two days later, amidst my anxiety, my husband came back, holding an injury appraisal form, which said my mother-in-law's injury appraisal: "Cleft lip, 3 teeth lost, half of the face is slightly swollen and slightly injured". I know that my hands are heavy, but I didn't expect that this slap would even slightly hurt my mother-in-law. The husband of
gave me two choices with an iron face, either to leave the house for a divorce, or to call the police and sue me for intentional harm. I cried and explained to him that I didn't mean it. I was willing to apologize to her mother, or let her mother slap me on the face. But no matter how I pleaded with him to explain, he looked unrelenting.
What should I do? I really didn't beat my mother-in-law on purpose. Why can't he forgive me? Anyway, I have a relationship for 5 years. We still have children. Is there a reason for him to let me go out? Although I am wrong, I am not so wrong, what should I do?
Li Hua: Hello!
Regarding the question of "cleaning out of the house", you can consult a lawyer first, and I believe the lawyer will give you a satisfactory answer. At this point, you should also plan for the worst and try your best to save the marriage. Regardless of whether you can redeem all of this, you must deeply reflect and review yourself, instead of blindly apologizing and pleading.
Of course, it is necessary to admit that you are wrong, or even that you have committed a crime. And if you commit a crime, you have to pay for it, and it's also necessary. If you make such a big mistake, just apologize and plead, it will let you pass it easily, do you think it should? Do you think your mother-in-law will feel relieved? Do you think you can go back to the beginning?
Even if you really want your mother-in-law and husband to forgive you at this time, you can't express your wish! If your husband forgave you so soon, it would be a disrespect for your mother-in-law—the sadness of his mother's heart, and also for your mother-in-law’s personality. At this time, facing your mother-in-law, you should only have sincere confession in your heart and nothing else. After sincere confession, you should leave temporarily to avoid mental stimulation to your mother-in-law, give her the necessary mental space to heal from me, and also give you an opportunity for self-reflection. Only after going back can we go forward. Maybe if you leave your marriage temporarily, you can get another chance to save the marriage. And too muchPersistence will only make you lose faster and more.
About leaving temporarily, you must adhere to three principles.
One is the principle of not rushing through the divorce procedures. Even if your husband urges you, you have to find a way to delay it. This can be regarded as a "divorce cooling-off period" for each other!
The second is the principle of seeing the essence through the phenomenon. You said, you are "not a mother-in-law who has the heart" to fight. In fact, if you are intentional, it's okay, at least it shows that your behavior is controllable. It's very scary instead of just shooting it unintentionally. Who knows if you will beat your mother-in-law "not intentionally" next time? Therefore, your biggest problem is poor emotional awareness, poor emotional control, and not good at regulating your own emotions. In the future, if you have negative emotions in your family life, you must learn to express them correctly and learn how to vent them. When your mother-in-law makes you very annoying, you should express it to her mother-in-law reasonably in time, instead of waiting until you can't bear it, and vent it out in a violent way.
Of course, your mother-in-law may not pay attention to maintaining the psychological distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which may break your psychological boundary. If your mother-in-law really has this problem, in addition to reminding her mother-in-law in time: You are not a child, you can't treat you as a child, you can also leave cleverly when your psychological boundaries are threatened.
The third is to deeply reflect on the principle of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. In the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you should not only fully express intimacy, but also maintain your own psychological boundaries. We don't know if your psychological boundary has been breached by your mother-in-law. What you need to reflect most is actually: Have you accepted your mother-in-law? Have you tried to love your mother-in-law? When family members get along without love, it is very easy to form confrontation and bring conflicts. And your unintentional slap, is it because you subconsciously cannot accept your mother-in-law, or even reject her performance?
only gave her mother-in-law room to heal her injuries, gave herself enough time to confess and reflect, and let herself "feel that the present is true but the yesterday is not." At this time, it is meaningful to restore the marriage.
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