Recently, a hot topic has appeared in the society, and that is: Is a full-time wife the most dangerous profession for women?
If this question is asking whether a full-time wife is a high-risk profession, from a professional perspective, we have to look at its risks and benefits.
Then why do we think that a job is a high-risk occupation?
Under normal circumstances, the so-called high risk is to pay more, but the income is small, and it is easy to face unemployment.
After a woman is married, if she chooses to take care of her baby at home full-time, her contribution will first be the energy spent on bringing the child, and then deal with some trivial things at home, or housework, and some family relationships Relationship and so on.
It is not difficult to find that these jobs have not actually created substantial wealth in the married life.
But the husband worked hard outside to create wealth to support the family. He saw that he paid more, but the benefits were very small, and these benefits, in the eyes of men, are not particularly important.
Because many men feel that I have made a lot of money for this family. I have supported my family, my parents, and the elderly above and the children below. Husbands will feel that they are the most capable and they are easier to get. Social recognition.
However, in most cases, the wife in the family also pays a lot, but her income is very small. As the husband’s wealth grows, the temptation he faces will increase. The wife’s value in the family continues to depreciate and she is “unemployed” "The risk will increase instead.
From this perspective, housewives are indeed a high-risk profession for women.
In fact, the key to the problem is that the full-time wife will be out of touch with the world of men in this process.
Because when a man is working hard outside, the amount of information he receives from the society is very large, and the information is relatively new.
In contrast, the wife is in the family, she does these trivial and low-value things, she contacts more information, which is also stale information, most of the people she contacts are mothers, or some are no longer there. People who work hard in society.
is not very good because of the source of her information. The accuracy of the information she obtained, and the gold content of the information, are not particularly high.
In this situation, when she communicates with her husband, there will be a distance. The two people also have errors in the communication of the incident. She is out of touch with her husband's world. At the same time, she is also out of touch with the outside world.
If a man is working outside or doing business in society, he is very accurate about the changes in the world and the changes in information. In the
family, because the wife is busy with children or trivial things, she will not pay attention to changes in society, so she is out of touch with the world.
Because the two are out of touch, the wife actually goes down in this society, while the man goes up, and the gap widens.
In addition, no one understands or understands the sadness of a full-time wife. In fact, for many wives, her work is not easy.
For example, doing housework, taking children, or giving children various training courses, and then educating children, these things, everything is very difficult.
Especially raising children requires very professional and systematic knowledge. For many young mothers, she may be too slow to upgrade, and she has no experience in bringing up children. It is the first time to learn all the knowledge of parenting. In the learning process of
, people will definitely make mistakes, we will make mistakes, and we will make some detours.
Wife is emotionally frustrated and depressed. She might think, why didn’t the child take good care of the child, why the child is not obedient, etc., because she is inexperienced, while she blames herself, her parents or husband will also take care of her. blame.
They might say: "You don't go to work and don't make money, so you just bring a child at home. How come you can't even bring a child, what else can you do?"
But they don't know, this is actually a very systematic And professional knowledge.
takes a child, and it takes a certain period of time. There is a period of time to polish and experience before you can get started, but many people are not aware of this process, or do not approve of this learning process, this is the grievance of the wife.
Also, my husband will feel that I’m outYou work hard to make money, and you can use it when you come back. When you bring your children at home, you do housework. In the end, you only do housework. You are tired of doing housework. Why is it that I am tired of making money outside?
Doing housework is actually a repetitive manual labor, and it is also very complicated and heavy.
now has a special profession called the receptionist.
This fully shows that doing housework also requires technical work. These things may not require very professional theoretical knowledge, but not everyone can do it well.
But many wives have achieved this level, and she will be blamed by their husbands. Some husbands even think that what they do is very professional. He doesn't know that these things are also very cumbersome in the family.
In such a situation, the wife will feel very wronged. This kind of grievance of
is not understood by others. The only objects that can be told are her little friends and girlfriends, but everyone gets together and always complains and complains. Who can understand these things? The husband did not understand.
The third is the interpersonal relationship in the family.
It depends on the family. Some families have relatively harmonious interpersonal relationships, but in some families, the original family is imperfect, which itself has many problems.
This is a family power system problem. A wife, she married a man, and came to the family. Can she handle everything?
In fact, everyone knows that this is unlikely.
She must go through systematic and long-term "treatment" to repair or improve the family's problems.
If the husband has such a requirement or standard for his wife, the wife is actually very wronged, because this is not where her professional ability lies.
It is impossible for her to change the problems of the family or deal with the interpersonal relationship of the whole family just because she married a man. How does
create a harmonious and happy marriage with your partner? How to let the partner see the wife's contribution, let him feel that ours is not easy, and at the same time divide the housework reasonably?
Actually, in this concept, we need to look at our own criteria for mate selection. The standard of
is: a man, he must know how to think in another place, he must be willing to be considerate of the inner world of others, not a machismo.
We must prepare before marriage. After marriage, we need to involve our husband in the work of our full-time wife, and occasionally let him experience it. It is not easy for the other party to feel what we have done in the process and our hard work. .
This way he can be immersive and understand the girl's contribution in the process with empathy, instead of watching the fire from the other side, standing there, it is really impossible to realize. How can
let her husband experience this state?
We often encounter, in life, some men are very masculine.
He doesn't understand his wife, doesn't know how to clean, or does some housework. In this case, how can we guide the husband so that he can really feel it?
is the first one. We must clearly communicate with
. This housework is basically done by the wife, but occasionally, girls will get tired, right? Then we can find a small excuse.
For example, a girl can say: "Oh, I am very tired today. I did a lot of things this week. I feel a little uncomfortable. Can you help me today?"
We can use an excuse to let my husband participate Come in, show weakness, act cute, and be cute.
Then if the husband feels the hard work of the other party and the wife's contribution, how can they carry out this division of labor?
If you have the conditions, I suggest that you can use tools to replace the lost parts of housework, and try to use tools instead.
For example, there are dishwashers, sweeping robots and so on. If there are such things, I suggest that my wife can use machines instead of labor.
like this, liberating one's time, but this time is not for lying down.
We have to improve, learn more about our expertise and work, or things we are interested in.
At this level, we get an improvement, and then our housework is much easierUp.
We can use some of the current high technology, such as dishwashers, mopping robots, etc., to free women's hands.
When a woman frees her hands, she will have more time and energy on herself.
But there are some women whose thinking may be more traditional, and she will feel that these tasks have been replaced, will it make everyone feel that they have not contributed to the family?
She would think: What is the meaning of my own existence, or what value is there for me? The idea of
is unnecessary. Girls can use the time saved to do many meaningful things.
For example, if you find a side job and have some extra pocket money, you can save some money yourself, or you can spend more time learning about childcare.
We spend time on our children, which is actually an investment, and the return on output is still great.
If we have more time and more ability after doing this, we can also find a job we like.
I still suggest that everyone is able to work and try not to be at home. The reason why
is out of touch with society because a full-time wife is simply because she doesn't understand.
Many times her husband told her, she couldn't respond well.
The communication between her and her husband will be chaotic, and the husband also feels that he and his wife are not close, or they feel disconnected, and feel very distant. This is one of the hazards.
Second, such a girl will live more conservatively and obstructively.
The world is changing rapidly, and changes are rapid, especially now.
If she doesn't understand and doesn't keep up with the changes of the times, she will become particularly conservative.
The mental state of the two people looks like a person in a city, and a person in a poor mountainous area. The news from the mountain people is relatively late. People in the city will feel that they look down on them, look down on them, and look down on them. People will not respect each other.
If she loses access to this information, she will fall behind. And only a person who keeps moving forward is the one who can truly take the initiative in the relationship.
Do you think full-time wife is a high-risk occupation?
look forward to your message
Author | Qingteng, a national third-level psychological counselor, five years of experience in the psychological and emotional industry. Good at CBT therapy, ACT therapy, from a cognitive perspective, to update and iterate the cognition of visitors, look at reality from a new perspective, and solve a series of problems.
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