I am Donglin Xiting, if you have a story, come to me.
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01
Although most people want to last forever after their love or marriage, they will understand if you think about it carefully. Not an inevitable thing, because there are many variables and uncontrollable factors in emotional matters.
The most uncontrollable factor is "people's hearts".
Love and marriage are composed of two people. If two people stay the same from beginning to end, they can naturally last forever. When one of them changes his heart halfway, the relationship between the two people will come to an end. Even if they do not break up or get divorced, two people are no longer in love together.
For example, the relationship between Zhang Dongsheng and his wife Xu Jing in the hit "Hidden Corner" some time ago, this is the tragedy caused by one of them changing his heart.
Changing your heart does not specifically mean betraying your marriage. Simply put, as long as you "do not love anymore", you are changing your heart. It's just that, in contrast, the betrayal of marriage is even worse and the consequences are more serious.
02
The following lesson the reader learned from the previous marriage is also about change of heart. Let’s take a look. ：
『The tragedy of my marriage with my ex-wife made me understand: After a woman does not love, there will be the following 4 obvious evils.
One, become cold, good at neglecting men.
If I have never loved her, I will not say that she has become cold as evidence of her unloving. Precisely because we loved, I knew that she was enthusiastic when she loved me, so I said that becoming cold is proof of not loving.
It’s really hard for me to accept that she left me cold after she became cold. Not only did she not let me approach or touch me, but also ignored me, always avoiding me and never let me send her to work. , No longer let me pick her up from work, no longer let me go shopping with her, someone asked her out, she went out without even saying hello, making me feel like an outsider.
Secondly, betray the marriage without hiding it.
I mentioned earlier that someone asked her to go out, referring to her betrayal. I'm not sure if she became cold after betraying her marriage, or the other way around, anyway, it made me clearly feel that she didn't love me anymore.
What's more hateful is that she has no cover for betraying her marriage. I love her, if she hides it from me, I won't blame her. But she didn't hide it, as if she wanted to let me know on purpose.
Third, I was anxious for a divorce, so I turned my face.
After her relationship with that man got better and better, she began to urge me to divorce.
I swear to God that I did not miss anything, and did not do anything to sorry her, but she did not miss the old feelings at all. When urging me to divorce, it was like ordering me, not with me at all. Discuss it as if she let me go, I must go immediately.
Fourth, win over parents and put pressure on men.
I am dragging the divorce because I love her, I can't bear her, and I look forward to her changing her mind. However, she found that her own pressure on me was not effective, so she wooed her parents to pressure me, and finally was forced to accept the divorce passively.
I don’t understand why this happened. She didn’t even bother to explain it to me. In my opinion, she suddenly didn’t love it, which made me still confused, and I don’t even know who to hate! 』
03
People who have watched the drama "The Hidden Corner" should easily see the man’s marriage tragedy above. Think of Zhang DongSheng’s marriage tragedy, because the two are really similar.
The play "The Hidden Corner" is particularly realistic. Zhang Dongsheng's marriage tragedy is a true portrayal of many marriages, which will make many people feel substituting. Although in reality no one would do extreme things because of marriage failure like Zhang Dongsheng, but the distress in his heart is the same.
From the emotional point of view, Zhang Dongsheng is a loser, because the person he loves doesn’t love him, and there are the four "evil deeds" mentioned by the man above, which is extremely serious to men. It not only hurts dignity, but also makes people fall into despair.
You must know that when a person loves another person from the heart, he will regard the other person as everything to himself. If the other person suddenly does not love to leave, it is tantamount to taking everything from that person.
This does not mean that someone loves you from the bottom of his heart, and you must depend on him for life and death, and you cannot change your heart at any time. We also mentioned at the beginning that there are many variables in emotional matters. However, if any one of the two people changes their hearts, it will not last forever, so this kind of change of heart is allowed.
However, changing your heart does not mean that you must be unfeeling. Except for some special circumstances, you can say hello to the other party before leaving, which can relieve the other party's inner despair. Conversely, if you don't say anything, suddenly change your mind and assume a very indifferent appearance to leave, the other party is bound to fall into despair and either hurt you or hurt himself.
Wen/Donglin Xiting, if you have a story, come to me.
What do you think of Zhang Dongsheng's marital tragedy?
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