Reader's letter said:
My girlfriend and I were colleagues for a short time during our internship in our senior year, and we established a romantic relationship. At that time, our plans for the future were: after graduating from college, we would stay together and work hard in the city where we went to school (the provincial capital city). When we graduated, housing prices were still at a high level, so when it came to buying a house, we reached a consensus: rent a house for the time being. In the following two years, I experienced uncertainty in the real estate market, which resulted in me not thinking about buying a house at all. I can also understand my girlfriend’s mentality: After all, I have been in love for 4 years, and she really wants to walk into a besieged city with me. The premise is that she wants me to buy a house in the city where I work.
said from the bottom of my heart that if I use my girlfriend’s and my savings and some help from my parents, we can still buy a house in the city where I work, but I feel that spending millions of dollars to buy a pile of steel and concrete is not as affordable as renting a house. Because I insist not to buy a house, my girlfriend has now broken up with me. After
broke up, I thought a lot: I was a little regretful about the collapse of this relationship; I still felt that not buying a house was the right decision (at least for the moment).
Perhaps, some people think that I don’t love my girlfriend enough, so I let myself live so rationally. But this is my understanding: our generation’s attitude towards life has changed a lot. To be honest, after breaking up with my girlfriend, I no longer even yearned for marriage. I felt that even if I wanted to find a life partner one day, it would be best to find a woman who is willing not to have children. When
told my parents about my thoughts, my parents said that my thoughts were a little sick, and that my thoughts were a concrete manifestation of extreme irresponsibility. They also said that I should regret it when I grow old one day. I think: When you can't be happy in your current life, why bother planning your life when you are old?
Regarding the relationship with his girlfriend: When I first broke up, I was really depressed; now it’s been more than a month since the breakup, and I feel like my life is pretty good now.
Muzi Li Emotional analysis:
No matter how you interpret life, you will leave regrets and regrets. And because our traditional education has this concept: 1) raising children for old age; 2) nursing homes are places for lonely elderly people. But with the development of society, many interesting things have happened: 1) More and more people choose to live alone; 2) Today's young people increasingly feel that waiting until their parents are old to send their parents to a nursing home is the best choice; 3) Many young parents do not Then I feel that children are my spiritual support, and I feel that the birth of a child has restricted my freedom and reduced my quality of life; 4) The idea of preferring boys over girls will gradually disappear, which means that even if many families have children, they will adhere to the attitude of eugenics and nurturing, and feel that it is good to have a child.
Everyone has their own understanding of life. In my cognitive system, I still feel that if I can get married, I should try not to be single. When it comes to having children, I prefer to have one. Of course, my cognition can only represent my attitude towards life. At the same time, I can also accept and encourage many people to express themselves when facing life. After all, life is your own. When making decisions, I believe many people make decisions after careful consideration. If one day in the future I regret it, at least I won't be able to say it. Under this circumstance, even if I encounter some inconveniences in life, I have nothing to complain about. For this reason, a person must have his own beliefs and not be a mere follower.
In life, many people are not determined when planning for their future, so that they live like a stranger. What I want to say is that no matter what kind of lifestyle you live, there will be pros and cons, for example: if you choose to get married and have children, you must shoulder the burden of supporting your family, and you will also face quarrels between husband and wife over trivial matters in life; if you choose to be single, you need to get along well with loneliness. During this period, you may have no one to care about you when you have headaches and fever. Even if you are old and unable to take care of yourself, your later life will be a bit miserable.To this end, we need to understand something: everything in the world will have corresponding cause and effect, it depends on what kind of cause and effect you are more willing to bear.
At the age of 30, some people have to face the burden of life with parents and children, but some people enjoy the ease of having enough for one person and not hungry for the whole family at the age of 30. For this reason, different lifestyles just allow you to choose: sweet first and then bitter, or first bitter and then sweet, that's all. When you see through many things and are willing to face all the causes and effects calmly, your mood will become calmer. Things we must avoid during this period: we should not be too greedy, selfish or have double standards. Regrettably: there are always some people who avoid when giving; but when they have, they want to have a lot. What I want to say is that no one can get something for nothing in life. As long as we can bear the corresponding price for our actions, people will feel relieved.
It is necessary to admit that as the environment changes, people's attitudes towards life will also change. The result: people born in different generations will have different perceptions of life. Many times, we like to rely on our own experience or feel that we know more, so we insist on letting the young people around us live according to our own ideas. It is obviously unfair to young people. To this end, when faced with some lifestyles that we disagree with, we can give our suggestions, but we should not force others to follow our suggestions. Let’s talk about two relatively objective facts: 1) The two-child policy has been relaxed, but not many people are willing to have a second child; 2) There is a lot of good news in the real estate market, but houses cannot be sold.
When choosing a marriage partner, it is very important to find a like-minded person. Your girlfriend has been in a relationship with you for 4 years. Because you are unwilling to buy a house in the city where you work, some people say that you don't love your girlfriend enough. Look at this from another angle: you just don't want to buy a house. It doesn't mean that you are unwilling to marry your girlfriend, but she broke up with you without seeing the house. So does she love you? After all, everyone's money is not brought by strong winds. Sometimes they are unwilling to buy a house, and it does not involve the level of love or not. Maybe they just don't want to be cut off by others. I now have my own house. If I didn't have a house now, maybe I would have the same idea as you: renting a house would be quite nice. Still the same sentence: Everyone has their own ideas, just follow your heart.
Editor's note:
In life, I believe we have all heard a lot of advice. What needs to be affirmed is that most of those who can patiently give us advice are kind people, and their starting point is also for our own good, but not everyone's advice is suitable for us. At this time, other people's suggestions can be used as a reference. As for the lifestyle you ultimately choose, you still have the final say.
In fact, when we are in trouble, there are not many people who can really help us. At this time, there may still be people who will give suggestions. The key is that what we need is real help in times of need. We must always understand that we ourselves are the helmsmen of our own lives. During this period, we may not be able to make our dreams come true through hard work, so we should try our best not to be ashamed of our efforts and conscience.
(pictures from the Internet, pictures and texts have nothing to do with it)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-