article, I wish everyone good health. Now that the virus is raging, you must take good care of yourself and pay attention to protection.
Because it is difficult for us to return to the world without viruses, but life still has to go on. We can only find a balance between the two.
When you return to the world, you will find that there are still many beautiful things in this world. For example, the state of contact and chatting with people can determine your mood for the day.
After all, communication is a very important skill in our daily lives.
We generally cannot communicate with others without three methods: oral communication, written communication and non-verbal communication.
Oral communication is when you are talking to another person, whether in person, on a video call, or on the phone. Your word choice matters, as do the details of how you speak, such as your tone and the timing of your words.
And these little details often involve some form of non-verbal communication, also known as body language, which is what people see when they look at you during a conversation, whether in person or on video. It's your facial expression, eye contact and the position of your body.
However, because we are now accustomed to written communication online, we can easily ignore it, which has also created more and more "social terrorists". Instead, we see more and more "social terrorists" online.
So, in the real world, everyone has become unable to communicate.
In fact, if you want the world to become a better place, don't stay at the online communication method. Return to the real world and the beauty of communication between people will make you feel the beauty of the world.
If you don’t know how to do it, I hope this article will help you.
How to improve communication skills?
Before improving your communication skills, you must first master some necessary skills.
These skills can help you form your own communication style faster, and also make you more comfortable when communicating.
1. First learn to "actively listen"
Even if you are a good listener, I guarantee you still have some areas worth improving.
's so-called "active listening" means that you actively participate in the chat with the other party, rather than passively listening to whatever others say.
Some of these are:
- Pay attention to what others say when they have something to say
- Ask them open-ended questions so you know what they want
- If you want to know something specific, ask probing questions
- Ask for clarification on anything you are unsure about
- Repeat him/her and repeat back to them what they are saying so you can make sure you understand it correctly.
- Adapt to their feelings and your own to make sure everyone's needs are met. Summarize at the end of the activity so that everyone has the same key points and next steps.
Many people rarely listen actively when chatting. They think they understand what others are saying, or they rush to express their opinions before they understand.
If you feel that the other person's point of view is not clear enough, ask the other person to repeat it or clarify the point in your own way. Only when you know that the other person's point of view is different from what you understand, can you make an accurate response.
Have you ever wondered what a conversation without active listening looks like? Go to Douyin and look at various comments. You will find that other people’s responses and what you said are often not the same thing.
2. Speak your thoughts and opinions
Just like it's important to understand other people's needs, you also need to make sure you are able to express your own needs. No one will know what the hell you're thinking if you don't tell them, right?
Many people often have a communication problem, that is, when there is a problem in communication, they often do not point it out on the spot, but think about it afterwards, and then magnify the problem that was not that important to the point that they cannot bear it.
For example, when someone tells you, the tone is a little stronger. In fact, you can express your thoughts immediately and say to the other party: "You are so serious about it. Is this matter important to you?"
This question is a "confirmation" question raised after active listening to determine whether the other party's attitude is what you think it is.
If the other party says that it is not the case and just thinks it is too loud, then everyone will not continue to have misunderstandings.
Otherwise, when you get home, you will only become more and more angry as you think about it: "Why does that person speak in such a strong tone? He is so rude and outrageous!"
Is such communication necessary?
3. Try not to make assumptions
Connected, it is easy for us to assume that we know what others want. But it’s a big cause of misunderstandings—and one reason why misunderstandings can escalate into conflict.
This is where active listening mode can save the day. Part of good communication skills means having empathy: trying to understand where the other person is coming from.
This is important because what we say is not always an entirely accurate representation of what we really want. Especially in complex situations, or situations where we are easily overwhelmed or embarrassed, we often try to disguise or hide our true needs.
When you ask questions, listen carefully to the answers, and repeat back what you think they want, you play an important role in minimizing misunderstandings and reducing the risk of conflict.
It's like the famous Bernard Shaw quote: "The single greatest problem in communication is the illusion that it has happened."
4. Practice self-awareness, especially in difficult conversations
People with advanced communication skills have a solid grasp of their emotions.
They know how to control their emotions when they are upset or overexcited, and they do not allow themselves to get into unnecessary communications or cause unnecessary drama.
When you react to something you don't like, it's important to stay calm. If you feel your heart starting to pound or your face starting to feel hot, take a break. Try to find some alone time to calm down.
Another key part of self-awareness is the ability to admit you are wrong.
This may be a huge blow to your self-esteem, but trust me, you will be more respected by others by admitting your mistakes and then working to prevent things like this from happening in the future.
5. Don't blame when asking questions
Tough situations are bound to happen. Even if you feel someone has done something completely wrong, stay calm during the discussion.
If you start a conversation by blaming them, you are actually starting a fight. Our natural reaction to accusations is to be defensive, and naturally such a conversation will achieve nothing other than venting our emotions.
Recall, which time have you ever made an accusation and achieved the results you wanted?
So, if you're a leader, instead of telling your team members, "You're always late for meetings, don't you want to mess around?" try saying something like, "I saw on the time sheet that you were late twice this week. Is there something going on?"
This opens the door for you to understand what may have gone wrong and how you can help ensure it doesn't keep happening.
How to improve your oral communication skills?
Oral communication is the "basis of survival" in our daily lives. Good communication skills can bring us many benefits. Including in the workplace, life, intimate relationships, etc.
knows how to use good communication, which can play a fundamental role in communicating with your friends and transferring important data, so it is never too troublesome to develop this skill.
How to improve it?
First, be concise
When you have a lot to say, try to condense it into one sentence. Then, focus on this sentence to filter out important and necessary information.
For example, you have a car accident, but you are fine but the car is destroyed. If you were to tell your parents about this, how would you structure your words? Should we first tell you that there are a lot of things that are not there, or should we directly report that they are safe?
Develop a concise and concise way of expression. Even if you have a lot to say, others will not find it long, because every sentence you say is useful.
Second, be prepared for a variety of answers
When you come up with a question or topic, and to ensure smooth communication, you need to be prepared for answers to various situations. Because not everyone will communicate with you according to your current way.
For example, a simple sentence: "Hello, can I interrupt you?" Most people may respond: "What's going on?" But they may also answer "What do you want to do?" "What do you want to do?", these are skeptical answers to you.
It doesn't matter, by anticipating the negative responses you're likely to get to asking, you can increase your chances of having a successful conversation. This involves your ability to adapt.
Don’t just think of one answer, imagine answers for different answers, and then stay the same in the face of change.
Third, don’t be afraid of silence from time to time
When you are chatting and have nothing to say, this kind of silence can be unbearable, but sometimes it is not always a bad thing.
Don't chatter in order to eliminate silence. Appropriate silence will not only allow others to adapt to the atmosphere, but also prevent each other from psychological pressure to find topics.
Your chat partner will thank you when you know when to be quiet and when to keep talking.
Fourth, if you need to change the topic, find a "bridge"
Changing the topic skillfully is an art. If you need to change the subject, try to find a "bridge" between where the conversation is now and where you want it to be.
For example, using linking phrases, you can say "The important thing is..." or "I agree with you, but..." or "Here's what I know..."
This way you can bring the topic back even if it goes off track.
Fifth, get rid of those "ums" and "ohs"
If you want to have a relationship and can't continue, then use these "uh uh oh oh" words!
generally uses filler words in these moods to indicate that you don’t know what to talk about next or how to respond. In fact, this is just a habit of yours. Once you get used to responding this way, it's hard to think of an answer.
Therefore, to improve your chatting skills, you need to reduce the frequency of using these filler words and try to think about how you can answer without these filler words?
Slowly, you will know how to chat with others.
Sixth, plan and practice what you want to say
Communication conversations often require a lot of impromptu conversations, and you don’t have the opportunity to plan and practice.
However, when you need to enter a chat environment, use 30 seconds in advance to build the main points of what you plan to chat. This can do wonders for your communication skills.
Preparing what to talk about in advance, just like preparing various answers above, is a very helpful approach.
Seventh, pay attention to your body language;
Make eye contact when others are talking, maintain firm eye contact, avoid fidgeting or distracting movements, maintain good posture, and do not cross your arms.
When you can create a relaxed chatting situation, others will be infected and slowly relax, making it easier to fall into your rhythm.
Eighth, maintain the habit of reading
Finally, developing the habit of reading is another answer to improving communication skills. Books will export new words and new ideas to you that you don't know.
Long-term reading can not only strengthen language, improve vocabulary fluency and grammar, but even help you better master how to use language.
In short, it never hurts to read more.
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