01
hesitated for a long time, but decided to write it out, without preaching purposes, and without psychological hints. After all, such things vary from person to person, and the result is also a choice. As the saying goes, there is no absolute in the world.
But it is certain that a person who can’t swim, no matter how much swimming pool it is, it’s useless.
And I would like to tell you that as long as is a choice, there must be a corresponding responsibility behind it. If you can get what you want from your choice, you will inevitably make sacrifices in your choice and endure the painful part of your choice. However, most people cannot realize this before making a choice.
So what does this mean? You will overturn your thoughts and cognitions and question your decisions.
In fact, even if time can be repeated, you still cannot know what you really want and cannot make a decision that you will never regret.
For example, in marriage, many people can only see lovers finally getting married, from then on, the body has a place to go, the soul has a home, and the three meals and four seasons are all in dusk. On the surface, this is indeed what we want, and it is also the enjoyment and wonderful part that we can get in the choice of marriage.
However, behind the beauty are also trivial matters such as food, food, oil and salt, elderly care, family chores, human relationships, etc., which you need to bear?
So getting married, divorce, and remarriage are all the same.
If you don’t recognize the part of your choice that you need to bear, or make a choice based solely on the surface temptation, beauty and needs, you will soon regret it. Even if there are more parts for you to enjoy, the feeling of satisfaction and happiness will be greatly reduced, and even those will no longer be enjoyed by yourself.
In turn, 's escape from the parts that need to be borne is selfish; picky about the parts that need to be borne is greed. These are all the culprits of questioning choices and destroying happiness.
02
Are you doing well in your second marriage? What is your biggest feeling? Share a female reader’s bitter confession: I am a second marriage, to be honest, the biggest feeling is that I am tired!
Second marriage has nothing to do with love for me, it is really that is really going to live. In fact, I may not need love much, so when I entered this marriage, I didn’t consider this point. Of course this is not reality, but all the sufferings that have endured in the first marriage are brought about by love.
In general, the quality of material life in this marriage is several times better than before, and I can't find any big problems with my husband, but I still live carefully, cautiously and tiredly.
We rarely quarrel. Even if there are disagreements, when he really can't twist me, he will do whatever he wants and then secretly execute his own ideas.
He will not be directed to me, nor will he show his emotions towards my opinions and practices. As for the seldom of quarrel, it is not because he tolerate me and pampers me. feels that the main focus is not on me, I am too lazy to pay attention to you, and try not to quarrel . Or, he is rational and scary, as if he has a clear definition of this marriage, just live a stable life.
In the eyes of relatives and friends, we finally chose the right person, but only I know that many misunderstandings and contradictions have been deposited in vain.
In addition, he and his ex-wife have two children, one with him. Often, as long as the ex-wife has a phone call, they will hurry over in the middle of the night.
To be honest, I would be suspicious and I also thought of taking the children over directly, so that they can reduce their contact.But I just thought about it. If he really did that, I wouldn't be willing to and admit that I have selfish intentions. In fact, he wouldn't suspect me, that's the kind. I don't know how much money I spent on my child with him on my back, and even doubted whether I had given the money to my ex-husband.
Sometimes the ex-husband can't control the child and accidentally asked me to take care of him for a day. On the surface, he agreed readily and generously, but as long as I go and whenever I come back, there will be sarcastic testing and attacks.
stepmother is hard to be. It is only after I have experienced it that I have completely understood it. Sometimes I think his child is grown up and he doesn't buy anything he doesn't need, and he will be accused of treating him differently when he comes back, and he is too selfish.
doesn't care too much, and you have to bear the responsibility yourself. No matter what the problem is, it is your own fault.
people are selfish, and they also want to leave better and more resources to their children. Just like I can kiss my child, even if he has a snot on his face, I can't do it to his child. Although we are husband and wife, the child is called my mother. So later I found out that is a comforting word to treat it as one’s own.
There are also family issues, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship issues, and the trust between us is not enough, and the direction of each other's efforts is also different, so the result is almost doomed.
The feeling of fatigue is real and always, probably that kind. You can’t tell where you are unhappy or where you are happy.
03
In fact, the reason for the second marriage is to summarize the causes of fatigue, which is the issue of position, selfishness and conflict of interests. The two people have completely different positions and will only look at the problem from their own standpoints. Therefore, when the conflict occurs, they will definitely not be understood.
At this time, because of the second marriage, everyone will have a mentality of just living it. If you are too lazy to quarrel and are unwilling to quarrel, the problems will naturally be deposited one by one. If this continues, the misunderstanding will deepen and communication will be more difficult.
Behind this peace and harmony, everyone has their own thoughts and plans.
In addition, it is too selfish. Whether you think about your own protection or want to leave more resources to your children, this will directly lead to conflicts of interests.
causes many things. Not only can two people not unite the front, but they can only stand opposite each other.
The relationship between the second marriage couple is already sensitive. After these accumulations, one by one, it will make people give up a beautiful belief, accept reality, face reality, and finally become reality. What is a dream in the same bed? It means that the two people have no common goal. You have your plans and I have my arrangements. Everyone has different ends.
You miss yours, I miss mine, and when you are comfortable, you can also eat and drink together warmly, but when the real problems come, you are willing to share a destiny relationship, which may not be reached.
-END-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-