3 "mine zones" combined with
Don't think that the other party is separated from you at the moment, and you will feel very uncomfortable and painful. They are all temporary, not lifetimes. The feelings are flowing and are changing at any time.
The first minefield, don’t care about the other party’s current attitude towards you
You must understand that he already wants to break up with you, so he is cruel to you, indifferent and ruthless, ignores you, or even deletes and blocks it seriously, which is normal.
There is a problem with your relationship, there are conflicts and conflicts. Until this problem is resolved, the other party is unwilling to be with you, so don’t think that the person who loves you will always love you, always favor you, and never leave you, and look less toxic chicken soup.
And what people say has a time limit. It’s like when I love you very much, I tell you all kinds of vows and make no delay in my cold words to you when I break up.
As long as your subsequent relationship can rekindle the expectation and hope of being with you, the other party's attitude towards you will also change.
The second minefield is prohibited from blindly "showing loyalty"
Maybe many of you will do these things after breaking up, reflect and review, connect with emotional bloggers, realize your problems, and start learning skills, but after you finish your work, you may find that the other party seems to have no reaction. Then you start to be irritable and regretful, feel worthless for yourself, blame yourself, and blame others.
But I want to say that as long as it is a normal relationship, the other party must have expressed these problems to you during the communication with you , , but he mentioned it to you many times, and you didn't take it seriously, , or you don't care about the other party's feelings at all.
For the other party, you will change it every time, and you will be indifferent every time. The story of the wolf coming has been told too much. Why do you really realize that you have a problem this time? If you admit your mistake and apologize to the other party, he must believe you. Maybe this is just another deception for him.
So you should not apologize to the other party, nor should you explain to the other party. This kind of "showing loyalty" behavior can only move yourself. For the other party, he has no sense of trust in you, so if you really want to change, you must first have preliminary changes and then establish communication and contact with the other party. Change is something that the other person can feel it themselves, not just your words.
The third minefield, the old saying goes: Don’t bother with
There are many ways to turn around, but entanglement is really the most annoying kind. Don’t think that I didn’t make up for it. I just sent him good morning and good night, caring about him, or I just wanted to do something to make up for it.
Apology This is also a kind of entanglement, a disguised entanglement that will only make the other party hate you even more. You have broken up with your identity and do whatever you want. You are an ex. You are barely considered strangers, and at most you are ordinary friends. Therefore, you don’t need to do those excessive care and daily caring and considerate things.
There is also the so-called gifts to show loyalty after separation, or to say that you don’t leave any regrets and meet again, love again, communicate again, and talk again, you are yourself who have been satisfied.
You can't suppress the painful emotions after you separate from the other party. You just want to meet the other party urgently to relieve your pain. Look at your current thinking and state. All the starting points are based on your own feelings, what you want to do, what you want to get.
What is the difference between you who did not care about his feelings, did not care about his thoughts, and did not respect the other party's behavior?
Maybe many friends will tell me that I broke up with him because I didn't love him enough and liked him enough. He broke up because he was completely disappointed with me, so now I should do something to compensate him.
Right, that's right, if you are in this situation, you really have to do things that care, considerate, care for and take care of the other party, but the way you express it cannot make the other party feel that you are deliberately pleasing him, so when you do this, you should give the other party a feeling.
I don’t want to be with you anymore. I also respect and accept the fact that we broke up today, but I may still subconsciously care about you and consider you at some point, but I will not interfere with your normal life because of my so-called care about you and considering you. Your way of thinking should be like this.
As for what behavior you express it, you have to consider it. This is what you should do in the process of communicating with the other party, rather than focusing on some so-called methods, speeches and techniques, because for you, it is not yours at all, it is taught by others. It is not good for recombination if you blindly use skills without combining them with the actual situation.
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