Text/Hanmeiyi
01
When it comes to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, everyone knows that it is not easy to maintain. For a long time, the topic of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has never stopped. It seems that no matter how big the matter is, as long as it involves the family of the mother-in-law, the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is basically inevitable.
Some mother-in-law don’t treat her daughter-in-law as a family, but when encountering something that needs to be done, they think of using her daughter-in-law; some daughter-in-law are not satisfied and meets her mother-in-law’s family, but she still wants to be more and more arrogant and wants to listen to her in-laws’ family.
In short, it is very strange. Many times, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are arguing and making trouble. The son and father-in-law who should come forward to solve the problem rarely stand up and speak out.
People often say that mother-in-law also survives little by little by little from the daughter-in-law. We must be more considerate of our daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law will become mother-in-law in the future. We will experience what the mother-in-law has experienced. We should also understand the mother-in-law more. Everyone knows the truth of
, but when I really get to the front, it is not easy to do it. At least few mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can do it at the same time: either the mother-in-law understands the truth, but the daughter-in-law is not as good as the daughter-in-law; or the mother-in-law is stubborn, but the daughter-in-law is very kind.
Anyway, it is basically too difficult to encounter in the same family at the same time.
In fact, there will be too much friction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, or it is because they have not been able to put their own position and lack a certain limit and measure.
In other words, is not your business, what you shouldn't say, and it's not your turn to come forward, then you must be a "outsider" honestly.
02
Aunt Wang's family has been "not peaceful" recently. Her relationship with her daughter-in-law Xiaoqing was a good one, but because of one thing, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were torn apart.
Regarding this, Aunt Wang sighed, " feels that no matter what I do, I am wrong! I will be picked up! I have been trying hard to take care of each child, but I am still complained. I really feel that it is too difficult to be an old lady now! "
Speaking of which, Aunt Wang is really depressed.
Aunt Wang's daughter divorced her in-laws because she couldn't stand the harsh treatment of her son-in-law and favored boys over girls. She lived alone with her children to rent a house.
Aunt Wang felt sorry for her daughter and granddaughter, and couldn't bear to see them helpless. So after discussing with her husband, she wanted her daughter and granddaughter to return to the small county town to develop, so that it would be convenient for her to help her daughters in the future.
Thinking that when my daughter comes back, she must have a place to live, and she will inevitably have contact with her son in the future. She can't take her daughter back and settle down with her son and daughter-in-law. So Aunt Wang called her son and daughter-in-law home, thinking that she would talk about this in front of them, which could be regarded as respect for her son and daughter-in-law.
Who knows, it’s okay if you don’t say it, it’s all a matter.
At first, Aunt Wang said that she would let her daughter and granddaughter live in her house. For fairness, no matter how much money she spends for her daughter and granddaughter every month, she would transfer it to her son and daughter-in-law. In the future, her granddaughter and grandson will go to and from school, and she and her husband will pick her up and drop it off together.
's son was very happy and said on the spot that "no problem is completely wrong", saying that his sister had helped him a lot before, but now that his sister has difficulties, he, as a younger brother, should also help.
Just when Aunt Wang happily decided to do this, her daughter-in-law stammered and said that she felt it was inappropriate.
"Mom, since you called me over, you have to listen to my thoughts, right? People say that women with brothers at home, if they divorce and go back to their parents' home to live, it will affect the Feng Shui of their parents' home and are not good for their parents' family... That, Xiao Wei and I are adults, it doesn't matter, but your grandson is less than four years old and he likes to play at your house. You can't help but think about your grandson, right? This elder sister rented a house outside, and my niece also went to kindergarten outside, and they have settled down. What do you still have to let them go back and forth?"
Aunt Wang felt a little unhappy about his daughter-in-law's statement: What era is this? There is also the saying of Feng Shui! If it affects the son, why didn’t my daughter say that it would have any impact when she helped her son? Although my daughter and granddaughter have a place to live outside, she rented a house and all the expenses of the mother and mother depended on her daughter to earn by herself. In addition, her daughter also had to take time to pick up her granddaughter from school and stay at home to accompany her children. How capable can she have to raise herself and her children?
"Xiaoqing, I understand your thoughts, but we are all women, and we should understand the difficulties of a woman taking a child out to make a living. You are also the daughter of your in-laws, and there is also an older brother at home. If you encounter difficulties in the future and go back to your parents' home, your parents or brother don't like you, what will you feel? My daughter is also filial to me and your father. She has helped the family with the money she earned from her work before, and even the 88,000 yuan gift at the time of marriage, she left 40,000 yuan for the family. She and Xiao Wei are both my children. After so many years of marriage, your father and I have put in a lot of money. Now she is facing difficulties. I am a mother I also need to help you with some of them? How can I watch my daughter floating around outside? "
Although my son has been stopping my daughter-in-law, my daughter-in-law still muttered, "You have made up your mind, why are you asking us to do? Since that's the case, we won't let our grandson go to your house in the future. If you want to see your grandson, you can only work hard and take two more steps to go to our house."
Seeing that my daughter-in-law used her grandson as a shield, Aunt Wang was really helpless. She thought about it and made a compromise, saying that she could not let her daughter live in her house, but she could not let her daughter come back.
" Let's do this. Then your dad and I will pay your sister a down payment for a small house in another community. According to the housing price in our county, it will basically cost 80,000 yuan. As for the mortgage, let your sister pay it back by herself! In recent years, I have spent a lot of money on you. I bought a car and worked hard to take care of the children. I can spend this little money on your sister now, right? Don't worry, your dad and I still have some savings in my hands. If you encounter urgent matters in the future, you will never ask you for what you want. "
The daughter-in-law was instantly furious, " Mom, after all, did you want to buy a house for your elder sister at the beginning? You are so good, you have to come around the bush! Since you want to give your elder sister money, just give it, and pretend to ask us what we are doing! This elder sister is also quite interesting. She has to come back to spend money on her family after divorce. She has not had a good marriage, but she wants her younger brother's marriage to be bad? "
When her daughter-in-law said this, everyone was in a mood. The son accused her daughter-in-law of anger and asked her to go home. Aunt Wang's wife was tense and said nothing. As for Aunt Wang, she looked angry.
"Xiaoqing, how can you speak like this? I called you over here, treating you as a family! If I wanted to guard against you, I would have brought my daughter and granddaughter back without saying a word. Why would I discuss with you again and again? Xiaoqing, you are in confinement and going to the confinement center. You spend 15,000 yuan in our small county, not to mention anything else. I spent so much money and effort on you. My daughter never complained, why would I spend 80,000 yuan to buy her a house? Tell me, how can I not be able to make you happy and take care of my daughter? They are all my children, and you can't just let one child be tight and ignore the other child, right? She is not doing well, I have to spend money for her! Why can't I understand it?"
Seeing that Aunt Wang and his daughter-in-law were about to start a quarrel, the son hurriedly pulled his daughter-in-law out the door, but even so, the daughter-in-law still shouted loudly as she walked: " Spend money to her children and grandchildren and keep the account, and it is reasonable to spend money to her daughter! Yes! Your daughter! In the future, you will find your daughter. Then don't think about having a daughter-in-law! "
Seeing that her daughter-in-law threatened her retirement, Aunt Wang could no longer control her emotions. She angrily retorted: "Anyway, you are not satisfied with what you do. You make a fuss. I have to buy a house for my daughter. I don't expect you, I'm not without a son!"
Just like that, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law parted in a bad mood.
03
Aunt Wang was determined to take back her daughter, and she would still buy the house. However, when her daughter heard about the situation at home, she might not want the whole family to be hurt and be kind, saying that she would be out for a while, and she really couldn't stand it anymore, and she would come back.
Aunt Chen was very sad about this. She felt that her daughter was too sensible and it was so difficult, but she was still considering it for the family. She also blamed herself for being incompetent and owed her daughter.
She said this, "If it really doesn't work, I will go to my daughter's city to help her. At that time, my family will be handed over to my wife. Anyway, I will pick up my grandson to and from school now, and my wife will be busy with it! Then check if there is an affordable house in the city and pay a down payment for my daughter. However, I will never discuss it with my son and daughter-in-law again! Can't I just spend the money for my son? I can't make the decision on my own money?"
As a bystander, I personally think that Aunt Wang is qualified for both mother and mother-in-law.
As a mother, she can take care of her children as much as possible. She does not say that she only puts her son first, but can see her daughter’s goodness. She stands up in time when her daughter encounters difficulties. This is much better than those families who only let her daughter pay for filial piety but never care about her daughter’s life.
Similarly, as a mother-in-law, I will do my best to help my grandson and contribute money and work hard. I will not do anything at home with my daughter-in-law on my back. This is really good.
Sometimes, as a junior, when you ask or expect your elders to do what you do, you might as well think about what you did to your elders? Why do you have to let your elders follow you?
Speaking of this, I also want to say that as a daughter-in-law, don’t be ahead of your husband when doing your own things well.
means that it is not to deliberately exclusion of the daughter-in-law, but to understand a truth: it doesn’t matter whether you fight for things from your in-laws or not, what matters is your husband’s psychology.
If your husband can always stand on the united front with you and "value" you more than his own family, then your "leading" may still have some meaning; if your husband does not rely entirely on you, or cares more about his family, then why do you become the target of the entire in-laws' family for your own emotions?
After all, women need to rely on wisdom to live. They cannot quarrel or shout whenever they encounter any dissatisfaction. In this way, although they may "fight" for some benefits, they will also create conflicts and affect the relationship between husband and wife.
Especially when facing the affairs of his in-laws, he is entangled and angry without leaving it to his husband to deal with it. How can he choose and do it as long as he can bear the corresponding consequences, that's fine.
Many times, the reason why people suffer is that they are worried that they should not worry about, but they are not able to solve it, so they can only be dissatisfied and indignant.
There is no need to pay too much attention to it. Just focus on yourself and your children. If others treat you well, then you will give back to others' good deeds; if others treat you harshly, then stay away from you and live your own life.
Know how to be content, learn to be grateful, and grasp the right position, so that it is easier to get what you expect.
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