Life is short, you must live a wonderful life, a fun life, and live the way you want to be.
Everyone should have this mentality: "My life is completely in my own hands and has nothing to do with others."
"Others laugh at me for being too crazy, I laugh at others for not seeing through it."
Characters will collapse, and even your idol will collapse one day;
Life is exhausted when you wear a mask, and over time you will fall into internal mental friction.
caring too much about other people's opinions and evaluations will only ruin your own life.
As the writer Wilde said:
"Loving yourself is the beginning of lifelong romance."
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Why do you care so much about other people's opinions?
First: In the original family, we have developed a "obedient personality"
If a person's life from childhood to adulthood is controlled by his parents.
Parents have the right to say that they have the absolute right to speak in the family. They do not give their children the opportunity to express their opinions or express themselves.
No matter what the child has, once it goes against his parents' opinions, it will be criticized and rejected by his parents.
Even if the child is adult, parents do not give their children independent and free space and still interfere with all aspects of their children.
Growing up in this family state, you will easily form a "obedient personality".
Do not refuse others' requests, and subconsciously obey;
Detective other people's opinions and comments, you will overturn your original views, even if others are wrong.
The original family is the fundamental reason why a person "overly caring about the outside world's views."
children have never felt the praise, understanding and tolerance of their parents, and are very fragile and inferior in their hearts.
Only when he meets the person who praises him, supports him, and encourages him will his heart become soft.
2: Subconscious fear, worrying about offending others
care too much about the evaluation and opinions of the outside world, and it is also related to the fear of offending the other party.
Their ideas are often:
"I can't refuse, otherwise they will hate me"
"I can't directly conflict with the other party, otherwise I will be hurt"
"It doesn't matter, it's a blessing to suffer losses, bear with it."
You are worried about being isolated by the people around you;
You are worried about being targeted and hurt by others;
You are even more afraid of the breakdown of your relationship because of your rejection.
Whether in social, work, life or intimate relationships, you are the one who "pleased, admits mistakes, and bows your head".
3 Third: Lack of independent opinions, always living in other people's expectations
Some people, no matter what they do, they can't make up their own ideas.
What to eat? Ask someone else. What does
do? Follow others' footsteps.
Where can I go to relax? You still need to consult the opinions of people around you.
No matter what they do, they can't make up their minds.
In essence, this is also a manifestation of a person's lack of self-confidence; they are more willing to live in the expectations of others and are used to following the trend.
Fourth: The manifestation of "low self-esteem"
About human self-esteem, it is actually divided into "high self-esteem and low self-esteem".
People with high self-esteem are confident and confident, and do not care about the opinions of the outside world. They recognize their own path and then go on.
People with low self-esteem always live in the expectations, requirements and evaluations of others; once they lose their connection with the people around them, they cannot control their lives.
They are used to living in rules, and they are "obedient and sensible people" from childhood to adulthood;
Once they lose the rules and the requirements of others, they don't know how to walk the next path.
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How to change this "bad" state?
The strong man never cared about other people's opinions because he firmly believed: "As long as I am excellent enough, my words are the truth."
Only successful people are qualified to be convinced. No matter how much losers say, others will not believe it easily.
The weak always need others' approval, live in the eyes of others, and eventually lose their direction.
How to break the limitations of this thinking and grasp your own life?
1. Focus on yourself instead of the outside world
From now on, don't think: "What do they think of me? Will they be unhappy? Will they ignore me?"
What you should think is: "At this moment , What is my mood? "
" What impact will it have on the next step if I do this?"
"How should I arrange my next work and life?"
The premise of loving myself is to turn my attention to myself rather than others.
Feel your emotions, pay attention to your own changes, and accept your own strengths and weaknesses.
2. Learn to care about your needs and try to meet your own
For example:
You go out with your colleagues to build a group dinner.
Everyone goes hiking. At this time, you are thirsty, so you can buy your own water to drink.
When others are thirsty, they will naturally take care of themselves. You don’t need to look at others’ eyes.
are all adults and should learn to take care of themselves.
If you ask others every time, "Do you want to drink water?"
Over time, you become that "errand runner".
From the beginning, you have to be a principled person.
This is not selfish, but shaping the image you leave to the outside world.
The cooler and more sensible people are, the easier it is to gain the respect of others.
care about your emotions, care about your needs, and strive to meet your goals and wishes.
No one loves you, then love yourself well;
No one praises you, then cheer yourself up every day and form positive emotional value.
Self-confidence is constantly accumulated in daily self-satisfaction.
Today's topic:
Do you care about the opinions and comments of people around you?
(Article pictures are from the Internet)
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