A long time ago, there was a photo that was very popular. The person in the photo held a sign with the words: She is not someone's sister, mother, daughter, wife, she is herself.

wrote an article about the concept of marriage and love. From the beginning, I knew that there would be a lot of controversy when I posted it, but I still posted it. Not surprisingly, there are many different voices under that article. I am actually quite happy, at least I can see many different opinions from people.

I have also gained a lot from these doubts, so let’s talk about the topic of girls’ independence. A long time ago, there was a photo that was very popular. The person in the photo held a sign with the words: She is not someone's sister, mother, daughter, wife, she is herself.

As women, we certainly have many identities: wife, mother, daughter, etc., but if these so-called bright labels deny the value and self of a girl, isn’t it a bit over the horse?

Before chatting with a friend, she said that if she is in her hometown and is not married at her age, then everyone can point fingers at you, or even point fingers at your family. It’s like she has to be someone’s wife in order to be perfect in life.

She will not confront these ideas head-on, but she will not make choices on her own.

How difficult is it to be an independent woman? Age, identity, and self-worth are tied up layer by layer, and they are like mountains that make people breathless.

So, what exactly do these tags mean for girls? For this reason, I had a deep conversation with several friends and talked about how to tear off these labels.

Friend A is my best friend from college and graduate school, and she is married and has not children. Although she performed well in her career and family life, she lost her name from the day she got married. Because everyone around her calls her: someone's wife, someone's daughter-in-law.

She and her husband have been together since college, and the two of them also studied for graduate school together. Unlike the couple who break up after graduation, the two also got married when they graduated from graduate school.

At that time, my friend's mother did not agree to the two of them getting married so soon, and even put down her harsh words and said, "Don't cry and go home in the future." But the boy vowed in front of his friend's mother that he would take good care of her and love her after marriage.

In fact, boys did do it, because they rarely quarrel after so many years of marriage. However, in this marriage, their friends slowly lost their name and became someone's wife and someone's daughter-in-law. The achievements and resumes she once proud of were gradually disappearing.

She has been married for many years and has not had children. She is not only under the eyes of others, but also under the urging of her husband and family. She feels that if she doesn't have children, she will miss the best childbirth age, and she will also become an older mother.

She cried and asked her husband: Is it really the only kids that maintain our love?

But her husband told her that she would have to give birth sooner or later, so why not be earlier? This will help you recover. My mother can help you take care of the child. What else are you not satisfied with?

The friend who got the answer never mentioned this topic again, and the light in his eyes gradually dimmed.

She told me: It’s not that I don’t want to have a baby, but I’m really not prepared. Where does the money for having a baby come from? Now both of us have not been able to make ends meet when we pay off the mortgage. I hope I can create good conditions for my child to come to this world. I really don’t want to have a child just because of age or urging others.

I can only remain silent. After all, I am not the one in the game, I can only wish her good luck.

Friend B was made friends after I worked and was two years older than me. In her own words, she is the older leftover woman in the people around her.

She has also been seriously dating blind dates in recent years, and this year it has set a record high. On average, she meets one person a week, and it becomes more intensive every year, almost like several games a day. Recently I met a slightly suitable one, two people were getting along seriously for the purpose of getting married.

The two of them first chatted online for two weeks, and recently they started to want to have a formal offline date, and the other party was also very straightforward. As soon as I was on my first date, I told her about her marriage plan and planned to get a marriage certificate in the third month of dating, and strive to get the wedding within one year and other issues. The plan was quite well done, but my friend felt that we should not learn more about it and spend a while.

As a result, the man was angry and said to her: You are in your thirties. Even if you get married immediately, you are already an elderly mother. I don’t know whether the child you gave birth to is healthy or not. I don't mind this anymore. I think we have been with each other for more than half a month. If you think it's appropriate, arrange a meeting between parents of both parties next month and get married at the end of the year. Both parents are very anxious. I don't believe that your parents are not anxious.

My friend said that she was no longer surprised when she heard these words in the blind date market, but she would be stinged once every time she heard them. Even later she refused the boy's proposal to get married.

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She said that she had no requirements for choosing a marriage partner, and there were no requirements for houses and cars. She just hoped to learn more about it. People treat older single women as a derogatory label, which directly ignores the individual achievements of women, but only judges a girl from the age level, and is the kind with fertility standards.

In recent years, women's age, marriage, and personality have been discussed by different people, and no matter what level it is, everyone has raised a lot of questions.

Many people always think that I can’t find a boyfriend and get married because I ask too much and want too much. But in fact, I have never put too high demands on economic and social status. I just want two people to chat and live an equal life together.

But just demanding equality is already a luxury.

We don’t want to become someone’s wife, nor do we want to become someone’s mother. The vocabulary before and after this title is essentially a subordinate relationship, but why can’t we become ourselves? Even if I become a mother in the future, I would rather be called a name than someone's mother.

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" Awesome Lady Maisel ", she is a perfect wife.

At the right age, he married a good husband. After marriage, in order to meet various social judgment standards, she demanded that her figure be perfect and devoted herself to her husband. She did live a bright and beautiful life in front of others, but she was just a body without self.

Maybe I am born with reverse bone . I don’t like others to guide us at what age and do what, and I don’t want to trap myself in the identity given by the outside world.

Born as a girl, I have the right to live my own colors, I don’t want to be an affiliate. If I don't get equal treatment in a relationship, then I would rather give up on it. I will accept those tags

and will also tear them off one by one.

So, girls who are also in trouble with age and marriage and childbirth really don’t have to think that they are alternative, but believe that we can define what we look like by ourselves.