I have a boyfriend who is very possessive. He is usually considerate and gentle, but he often looks through my phone and questions my friends. He will also investigate my whereabouts. He has to make more than a dozen calls a day, and does not allow me to wear exposed clothes, and does not allow me to talk to other men... All kinds of behaviors that restrict me made me extremely unhappy. I endured it again and again and finally chose to break up with him.
My name is Liu Ling, and my boyfriend Shen Li is a college classmate. When I was in my freshman year, I joined the musical instrument club because of curiosity. It was where Shen Li and I met. When we first started together, we had a good relationship. Shen Li was different from what we are now. He was gentle and considerate and never interfered in my friendships and freedom of dressing. He said that he loved me, and love means to tolerate everything and trust each other.
At the beginning, I didn’t find that he was so possessive. I personally think that even if I love each other, I have to give each other space, so I never check his phone. But gradually, we got to know each other more and more, and Shen Li was sure that I loved him and trusted him, so my nature gradually emerged. He often checked my phone. At first, it was once a week, then it was several times a day, and later, as long as my phone rang, he would check it again. He had to ask who it was without notes.
There is something even more excessive about the phone. At first, he just called a few times when I was out for a party with my friends. I just thought he was too worried about me, but I was wrong and he began to get too far. First, I made calls more and more frequent, and the questions I asked became more and more excessive. Then I was not allowed to wear my favorite clothes, saying that it was too exposed, and later I was not allowed to meet any male friends.
These are just when our emotions are normal, and he unilaterally controls it. Once we quarreled with Cold War , and he did even more excessively. That time, my elementary school classmates went out to party, and he was also together. As we all know, elementary school classmates are usually childhood friends and they all grew up together. Even if they are different in genders, they are all friends or brothers. They don’t have that many ideas, but my boyfriend doesn’t think so. During the party and dinner, one of my male classmates happened to sit next to me and help me arrange the tableware before the meal. My boyfriend's face changed at that time, but he still endured it because of his face. Later, after dinner, we went to sing. As for classmates, we were very relaxed. I sang a few songs with that male classmate, and my boyfriend went crazy.
Shen Li took my hand and rushed out. I was also confused at the time. I had no idea what was going on. Before I could resist, I violently stuffed me into the car and drove directly without saying a word. The most terrifying thing was that he drove the car very fast, regardless of traffic rules, and took me home directly.
After getting home, he began his big truth, "Do you have a clear understanding of whether you have a boyfriend, and you kiss me and me with other men and hold my arms around you, are you so cheap?" I was really angry, "Shen Li, that's my classmate. We just had a meal and sang a song. Do you need to exaggerate? You said you trust me and tolerate me. Look at what you are now. I think we are not suitable. Break up."
After breaking up, I didn't wait for his reply, but he locked me in the house and took my phone away. After that, he would bring me enough food and drink every night when he came back, and he would not lack anything, but he would not let me go out. But he would occasionally take me out for dinner with his friends, but he wouldn't let go of my hand along the way, fearing that I would run away.
Later I became more and more afraid and couldn't stand it anymore. When he took me out once, I ran away while he was using the bathroom. I quickly called my friend and asked her to pick me up. That night, I left the city overnight.
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