There is no concept of "Managing Marriage" . It believes that home is a place that makes us comfortable and mindless. Lovers have to bear everything we have, including bad tempers and bad faces. Who will I give to my lover if I don't give it to my lover?
Do you think so too?
Someone has summarized the secret of happiness in marriage:
Because of understanding, we understand; because of understanding, we accept; because of acceptance, we are happy.
Most of the destruction of marriages comes from "not understanding, not understanding, and not accepting."
How to do in marriage to love each other?
In marriage, learn to be a lover of TA
In any marriage, the wife and husband play four roles:
House, parents, friends, and children.
One of the characters is very important, that is, lover.
After we get married, we often do not be the other person's parents, and it is thankless to do so;
Or be the other person's children, arrogant and make some unreasonable requests;
If we are not satisfied, we feel that others do not love you enough and do not love you enough.
But you have to know that if you don’t be your lover, someone will be your lover.
How to be an excellent lover after getting married?
Remember the following points:
. Management is very important
. Beautiful together is very important
. Attention is very important
. Attention is very important
. ml5 Intimate relationship, The secret to establishing a warm and happy atmosphere: 5:1 Harvard University research shows that the core element of people's happiness is the intimate and warm relationship. How can we establish a relatively intimate relationship?
Scientific research has also found that when you get along with others, you must do 5:1.
In other words: when you get along with others, only when you do 5 things that make the other person feel comfortable and 1 uncomfortable thing can you basically balance and have an intimate and warm relationship.
When you get this ratio wrong, you will not be able to achieve a close and warm relationship with the people around you.
Starting today, please record how many positive, warm and comfortable scenes are there in your communication between you when you are with other people, especially when you are with your lover and children?
Remember, it is not that you think it is positive, warm and comfortable, but how many interactive scenes the other party feels positive, warm and comfortable, and how many uncomfortable interactive scenes are there? If you feel uncomfortable, there must be a problem with the ratio, so it must be at least 5:1.
. You can increase the proportion of 5 because the better the other person's feelings, the more love that flows back to our own. This is the secret to building relationships around warm and happy.
The way to get along with each other with boundaries is the true freedom
The way to get along with each other with boundaries is the true freedom. Respect and allow differences between each other. Two eagles are bound together and cannot fly. The right distance is not indifference, but the space left to get along better.
In intimate relationships, most women pursue the way of getting along with each other: "If I don't say it, you will know the tacit understanding" and "If my face changes, you will coax it." If the other party gets angry without doing this, it means not loving yourself.
In fact, putting yourself in the position of love and waiting for love is very dangerous, which is equivalent to putting yourself in the position of begging. No one can circulate around you 24 hours a day, and there is no energy to guess your "mind".
The reality is that if you clearly state your needs, the other party may not remember it, and you still want the tacit understanding of "If I don't say it, you will understand"? Tacit understanding is the result of thousands of running-in times. Love must not come, it is given.
Full times, it is not that important for family members or not.
The most important thing is to find people who are good to you, even if they may be strangers with kindness.
People are very complicated, but fate is wonderful, and fate is connected in a moment. Only sincerity can exchange sincerity.
A person loves you never because you are so capable and beautiful, but because: you made him feel how great and beautiful she is.
The first half of life, seeking to be loved; the second half of life, just love.
In this life, every moment that is not used to feel warmth, hope and love is a burden, and it needs to be let go, and it is a failure to life.
Love is in place, it is the best way to get along with each other
One of my clients is a doctor of medicine. He is handsome, knowledgeable, has a good income, and is also outstanding in sports. He was pursued by many girls before marriage. After marriage, he also took good care of his wife.
But when you have children, your family life will be very unhappy. The wife often cried and the husband was frowning.
It turned out that in order to support his husband's career, his wife gave up her job, returned home to take care of her husband and children, and took on all the affairs in the family. But the husband was not satisfied, so the wife felt very wronged and felt that she had devoted all her youth to the family.
In fact, the husband doesn’t need his wife to do so many housework, these nannies can do it too. He said what he especially needed was to get his wife's affirmation and encouragement, not criticism and accusation.
The two of them often quarreled over trivial matters at home, and the husband gradually felt at a loss. Later, the husband could not resist the outside world's attraction and cheated on him.
Through this story, we see that the hero is the real version of the prince charming and is very good to his wife, but there will still be an affair in the end.
In the final analysis, his wife has never understood the needs of her husband. I thought my hard work was what the other party wanted, but in fact, the husband just needed his wife's praise and affirmation.
What is love in place?
There are three meanings for love not to be in place:
- first, you don’t know what the other party wants, and the other party doesn’t know what you want;
- second, what you give is not what the other party wants;
- rd, what you give is not what the other party wants;
- differences the other party you give. For example, if the other party is thirsty, you need water, but you must give him the abalone. In fact, he is not hungry, you just need to give him water to drink.
Love is sometimes very simple: it means to serve his or her preference, do what the other party wants you to do, and not do what the other party doesn’t like you to do;
And when there is conflict, harmony should be used as the principle, that is, when saying every sentence and doing something, you should consider whether to make the relationship closer or more distant.
Do what the other party likes, and the management of love will achieve twice the result with half the effort.
But many people don’t ask what the other person wants, and give it to the other person who thinks. As a result, the other person is not satisfied and feels wronged. They often complain, "I spent money, time, and energy, you are still heartless, you are ungrateful, you are not grateful..."
So dear, you must figure out what the person you love really needs.Otherwise, I would not get the other party’s recognition after spending time, money and energy.
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Each of us hopes for our marriage to be happy, but please be sure to ask yourself, in terms of our ability and hard work, what can you do for the happiness of marriage?
Put your expectations on yourself rather than on others.
There has never been a fairy tale in this world that comes out of thin air, and never a dream that is worthless.
People are always waiting for their ideal lover, someone who truly likes and loves themselves. In order to wait for this person, many people screened with a picky eye and a judgement, thinking that as long as they find the right person, their lifelong happiness will be just around the corner. This is a big misunderstanding.
In fact, no matter who you find in this life, it is just the beginning of love. Whether it can be turned into a fairy tale requires your lifelong effort and management.
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