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If you ask a man why he cheated, he can give you more than ten reasons, such as: his wife doesn't understand me; his current family life makes me feel very tired; there is no reason just because he falls in love with her; I feel that there is no love between me and my wife; she took the initiative to pursue me, and made a mistake in a confused way...
When you ask these men if they have considered the consequences of cheating, their answers can usually be summarized into two categories:
Category 1: I haven't thought about it, wherever I go, and I will talk about it when my wife finds out. The subtext is: If she can forgive me, I will return to my family. If she can't forgive me, I will divorce him.
Category 2: I thought about it, but I think it’s no big deal. As for men, who doesn’t steal some fishy things outside. Compared with those particularly scumbag men, I think I made a small mistake. The subtext is: I just had a small relationship outside of marriage, and I took all the responsibilities I should bear, and she (referring to my wife) still wants me to do whatever she wants.
No matter what reason a man betrays a marriage, no matter whether they think clearly about the end of betrayal of the marriage before betraying the marriage, their ending is usually "injuring eight hundred enemies and losing three thousand themselves."
Men all want to live in the feudal era, hoping that women should take their husbands as their mainstay, hope that they can hug each other, have good wives at home, and have confidantes outside, it is best that they can still be like sisters and respect each other as guests. However, most women nowadays are strong and independent. They can marry you because of love, wash clothes and cook for you because of love, and be willing to be a housewife, but they will not blindly indulge you when it comes to matters related to principles.
When you betray her and let her down, you may not be sure that she will kill you. Ordinary men usually cannot withstand such troubles. In the mild case, the reputation will be damaged, the career will be damaged, and in the worst case, the job will be lost, the family will be destroyed, and the second half of their life that could have been safe will be ruined.
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Judging from the cases I have come into contact with, any man who has had an extramarital affair, even if he married a third party after divorce, will still suffer a great loss to him. Those women who take the initiative to be third parties are mostly not good at it. Regardless of whether their purpose is to be superior or not, they must scrape off your body.
Most men who cheat know that the purpose of third parties is not simply, they all know that they have a goal, and they also know that cheating will hurt their spouse, family and children, but they will still make mistakes again and again in this kind of thing. In the words of an infideler, "I can't control myself!"
Mr. Dong, 46, is one of them who can't control himself.
Mr. Dong's family conditions are not good. His parents gave birth to three brothers and sisters, and he is the eldest. Because of the heavy burden on the family, I dropped out of school to work before I finished junior high school.
28 When he was 28 years old, he met Tian Miao, who was studying for beauty salon next door, who was seven years younger than him. He could not resist his concern for him. Tian Miao became his girlfriend and insisted on marrying him despite his parents' opposition. When he was 29 years old, their daughter was born, but during the confinement period of Tian Miao, he had a relationship with another woman and had an extramarital affair with Tian Miao who was still breastfeeding.
Tian Miao endured it again and again. When her daughter was two years old, she went through the divorce procedures with Mr. Dong, and her daughter was raised by Mr. Dong. After the divorce, Mr. Dong was unable to get along with his lover. He then went to Guangzhou to work and had a few girlfriends in Guangzhou, but none of them were suitable for marriage.
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Because of his daughter, Mr. Dong still maintains contact with his ex-wife Tian Miao. He knows that Tian Miao has a new relationship after five years of divorce from him. He knows that Tian Miao is talking about marriage with his new boyfriend. Whether it is out of jealousy or something else, he deliberately messed up the engagement ceremony between Tian Miao and his boyfriend, and used his daughter as an excuse to ask Tian Miao to remarry him.
On Tian Miao's side, the boyfriend's mother didn't want her son to marry a second marriage. In addition, Mr. Dong deliberately made trouble, which made people mistakenly think that she was still in a relationship with her ex-husband, so she forced them to break up.
Then, under Mr. Dong's deliberate admitting his mistakes and pursuits, and the elderly on both sides were also persuading Tian Miao, hoping that she could think more about her daughter, so Tian Miao remarried Mr. Dong with grievance. In theory, after experiencing a marriage change, Mr. Dong, who finally recovered his ex-wife, should cherish this marriage and his ex-wife. However, less than a year after remarriage, his old habits broke again, and he was carrying Tian Miao outside and was not sure about other women.
This time, Tian Miao also chose to divorce, and after the divorce, there was no longer any contact with Mr. Dong.
Mr. Dong said that he knew that his ex-wife was a good woman, and knew that he should cherish her ex-wife and should live a good life with her. But once he met such easy-to-talk and casual woman, he could not control himself and always felt that he was a fool without taking advantage. He also knew that getting married is harder than finding a lover, and that the women outside came for the money in his pocket, but he just couldn't control himself.
When he betrayed his family for the first time, his daughter Tiantian was still young. When he betrayed his family for the second time, his daughter was already old and sensible. She said that she could not forgive Mr. Dong for betrayed his family and hurt his mother again and again, and she voluntarily lived with her mother and did not want to pay attention to Mr. Dong again. Mr. Dong knew he was wrong, but what could he do? The damage caused by the loss of family affection cannot be restored or compensated.
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is unique. Mr. Du, 42 years old, is also the one who can't control himself.
Mr. Du is different from Mr. Dong. He neither married the partner he had when he first cheated, nor chose to remarry his ex-wife. Instead, he got married with another woman through normal love, and gave birth to another daughter after marriage.
Mr. Du and his ex-wife have a son and a daughter. When they divorced, Mr. Du's ex-wife chose to leave the house with nothing and left everything, including the children, to Mr. Du.
Because of these two children, Mr. Du and his remarried wife had many conflicts. Later, in order to appease the current employee, he handed over the two children he had with his ex-wife to his mother to take care of.
According to this, Mr. Du, who has experienced such changes, should live a good life with his current employee, but Mr. Du can't control himself. When his youngest daughter was over one year old, she got along with a female patient who often went to their hospital for treatment. The female patient did not have the consciousness of being a third party at all. Not only did she not hide it, she found Mr. Du's current employee, that is, Ms. Wang's store, and took out all the video photos of herself and Mr. Du for Ms. Wang to show her.
Ms. Wang, who was first married and second marriage, was a stepmother for his two children when he entered the door. He felt wronged. Mr. Du's cheating became the last straw that broke Ms. Wang and the last straw that broke the marriage. Ms. Wang filed a divorce to Mr. Du without hesitation. Like Mr. Du's ex-wife, Ms. Wang, who was unwilling to accept her, also chose to leave her daughter's custody to Mr. Du.
Two extramarital affairs ruined the two marriages and left three underage motherless children. What made Mr. Du even more depressed was that he divorced and his lover did not divorce, and he became the ultimate payer for this extramarital affair.
In situations like Mr. Du, the possibility of a third marriage in the future is very small. Now there are parents who help him. In a few years, his parents are old and his children are not yet adult. You can imagine his life.
For men like Mr. Dong and Mr. Du who cannot control themselves, we can only say one thing: "Your own actions are all done by yourself!"
When you don't cherish marriage, marriage will not cherish you. When you don’t know how to cherish the person in front of you, the person in front of you will not know how to cherish you. The same thing is said: if you don’t love, you can get a divorce. If you use extramarital affair to run a marriage, most of the results you get are tragedy. If you don’t want your marriage and life to end in a tragedy, please restrain yourself and manage yourself.
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