It is actually not difficult to start a relationship, but it is not easy to maintain a long-term loving and harmonious relationship. After living together for a long time, there will be various problems and contradictions, and they will part ways until they reach the end. According to observations, whether it is a lover or a husband and wife's relationship, it is easy to destroy the relationship or even make grudges when they often talk about these four sentences.
You don't understand/it's none of your business
" thirty is only " Zhong Xiaoqin prepared supper. Seeing that her husband looked bad, he stepped forward and asked with concern if something happened, but the man's reply was "You don't understand if you said it." Facing his wife's concern and questioning, He continued with a cold face again: "If I really want you to understand, I have to start with the organizational structure of the TV station, the news editorial system, and the influence of broadcasting public opinion." In the end, it rose to pregnancy due to poor communication, and it was not the time to be pregnant. As the end, two people need care together, and need to share and share each other's pressure and pain. But if one party's care and interaction are exchanged for "You don't understand, or don't worry too much about your business," this love becomes self-inflicted.
A long-term relationship means that two people can stand together no matter what problems they encounter and face all kinds of difficulties in life together. This sentence is like drawing a boundary between two people. It not only seems distant, but may even deny and extinguish the love the other party wants to pour, seriously blowing the other party's enthusiasm and initiative, and also making the other party full of anger and humiliation. After all, no one will feel comfortable with this feeling of a hot face against the cold butt.
"If you really love me, you should..."
Love does require mutual contribution and compromise, but if you love, how to talk, it will become a kidnapping in the name of love. No one's efforts are what it deserves. The necessary conditions for making the other party continue to take the initiative to pay like this are, one is a grateful attitude, and the other is that its own value makes the other party reluctant to leave and fear losing.
And such "emotional blackmail" not only won't get what you want, but will also make the other party simply want to kill the idea of giving in the cradle.
You are the same as your father/mother
Usually when we say this, we are not praising the other person. It is likely that it will blurt out when the other person’s behavior habits are unfamiliar with behaviors, but undoubtedly this sentence is very lethal, which not only makes the lover more disgusted, but also expands the enemy. The sentence
usually conflicts without exception. Except for the family being "innocent" involved, the most important thing is to hit the other party's pain points. Children are all replicas of parents, and many of us are working hard to escape the curse of our original family all our lives. To be honest, most people don’t like their parents and want to change their destiny. However, when this sentence is released, it is equivalent to the irreversible fate, and the exposed inferiority complex can no longer be hidden.
You have changed/You can't change/You are just like that
Many lovers and couples will say this when they get along for a long time and have differences and conflicts. Indeed, it is inevitable to change after being together for a long time. It is not even exaggerated to say that change is inevitable. The reason why the other party is angry when they hear it is that everyone's changes usually have a cause, and the reason why this trigger is not unexpected is the other party. Simply put, it is inevitable that they are not cherished equally, and the label at this moment has become an ineligible accusation.
So no matter whether the other party has changed its positioning, or you can't change it at all, or even just such a conversation, it may become the last straw that crushes the other party's emotions, fall into despair and explode.
Emotions will not be inevitable. They are usually grievances and disappointments that have been accumulated for too long. Only by avoiding some extremely lethal catchphrases with strong "aggressiveness" in detailed communication can we reduce the degree of harm to our relationship and lover and increase the probability of harmonious relationships.
END
text/emotional transfer site
(author: Xiaoyu, psychological counselor, focusing on the emotional field), good at restoring and restoring romantic relationships, marriage conflicts and differences, and spiritual trauma healing caused by original ecological families. In a lonely life journey, listen to your grievances and pressures, help visitors improve their gender skills, win back their lovers, manage their relationships well, and strive to become a happier person.
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