[Couple Insights] Learn to reflect and repair yourself, this is a compulsory lesson for growth. If a family has a problem, first look for the cause from each other, so that the problem can be solved faster. Unfortunately, there are many people who know this simple truth, but few people who can do it. "I examine three times a day." A woman who can apply this proverb to her marriage will definitely develop in a good direction.
At present, some people have done something wrong and like to blame others. If they have a way to push their mistakes to others, or find someone to "share the burden", they will "spend no effort" to do it. If you do things well, you will have your own contribution. If you don’t do them well, you will not reflect on yourself and cannot take responsibility. Such an attitude is not good for one's workplace survival. No leader appreciates such subordinates, and no colleague is willing to cooperate with someone who may frame and sell himself at any time.
The same is true in marriage. In a marriage, two people are equal. Who is willing to bear all the problems and admit their mistakes when they quarrel? To be honest, no one except masochist likes this kind of life.
However, it seems that in today's marriages, it seems that men are the ones who admit their mistakes and apologize and take the blame. Many women also like this feeling very much and indulge in such a life, thinking that this is a manifestation of men giving in to themselves and loving themselves. In fact, this is a continuation of the relationship between "you chase me and I run away" in love. In marriage, it is not that simple. When men pursue women, they always show their best side. Naturally, what women say is, and it doesn’t matter if they give in to women. But no normal person will always give in to another person, because people will be tired and tired of always playing the same role, let alone an unpleasant role.
Women have physiological cycles, and men also have psychological cycles. They will hide all their pressure and grievances in their hearts, and then burst out all of them. It’s so good to love you. When he is tired, taking the blame in the past will all be your shortcomings and mistakes.
If you want a marriage to last for a long time, women should always reflect on themselves, so that you can find your own shortcomings and make good adjustments. Given that many people cannot recognize their mistakes and shortcomings, we have summarized several methods of self-reflection and self-repair.
picks your own faults. I took a piece of paper when I was fine at night, recalled what happened today, and recorded what I felt I had done wrong. Note that you should write down your first feeling and write it in one go, otherwise people will habitually find various reasons for themselves or find reasons for others. After writing, read it and think about the correct way. Persist in this method and form a habit, at least you pass the qualifications in terms of sincerity in your relationship. If you stick to this habit for a lifetime, then you will be successful in self-reflection.
You must know that it is not embarrassing to admit mistakes, and it is not embarrassing to admit mistakes if you make mistakes. This means that you understand the meaning of the three words "responsible person". Many people do not admit their mistakes. It is not that she does not feel guilty when she does something wrong, but that she cannot say anything about admitting her mistakes or apologizing. However, please think about the consequences of "a dead duck's stubborn mouth". Your partner will think that you will never repent, and will not feel guilty if you hurt him or others, but will take it for granted. Then your image of kindness, sincerity and love in his heart will collapse. Such a price is incomparable to admitting mistakes with shamelessness.
The braver you are to take responsibility, the more others will be tolerant of you. Maybe you have this experience. When you are in school, if you are called to the office for criticism because of discipline issues, or when you are late or leaving early, the person who will usually admit his mistakes will be taught less. The more you are "stubborn" and refuse to admit your mistakes, the more the teacher will focus on "care" him (her). This shows a kind of mentality of a person: he feels that he will first stir up the responsibility on himself, and the possibility of such a person being the responsible person is less.The same is true for your partner. If you have problems, you should take the initiative to take responsibility first, and he will reflect on his behavior and find his reasons at the same time. On the contrary, when you refuse to take responsibility, he will feel confident that it is your fault.
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