A word that is particularly popular recently is called "sensation of relaxation".
The high definition of "slack" on Zhihu is:
No tangle, no anxiety, no twisting, stable emotions, safe as you go, comfortable and natural.
For modern people, it is not easy to meet this standard.
Children's education, the health of the elderly, and work performance must be taken into account. Any problem cannot be avoided from control;
The fluctuations in income, the increase in bills, and the decline in competitiveness are all tense, and any item in front of you is inevitably anxious.
It’s too difficult to relax!
However, an ancient man 1600 years ago has brought us some inspiration.
This ancient man was not very official and not very famous when he was alive, and he often needed help in his life.
But for thousands of years, people have admired and praised him because he lived a relaxed state of:
sensitive but not worried, poor but not depressed, simple life but rich spirit.
This ancient man who has attracted countless fans is Tao Yuanming .
He told us with his calm life:
As long as you don’t make things difficult for yourself, every moment of life is a good time.
Tao Yuanming started working late and started his official career at the age of 29 to serve as an official in Jiangzhou .
Although he is a little old, he still firmly believes that he can "stay alone" and be a happy hermit.
can " help the world" and be a good official who "helps the people in the upside down".
After working for a while, he found that:
He neither has the opportunity to speak out, nor has the ability to make his boss look at him with admiration, and is not very good at handling interpersonal relationships.
Maybe he didn't meet the "wise master". The depressed Tao Yuanming decided to retire temporarily.
Six years later, he became an official again, and the result was the same as last time: the leader was not a "wise ruler" and he was not a "capable official".
The more you do, the more you feel more and more frustrated, so you have to go home again.
He just wandered between becoming an official and retiring.
Until he was the magistrate of Pengze County , he left a famous saying "Don't bow to the children in the village for five dou of rice."
Then he said goodbye to the officialdom completely and went happily towards the pastoral direction.
"My personality is not suitable for the officialdom, so you might as well pursue pastoralism."
I recognized Tao Yuanming and no longer thought of being a career without becoming a person.
Instead, I let myself go and start the next life happily.
In most cultures, giving up is a shameful act, but Tao Yuanming told us:
When you are tortured by meaningless people and things, giving up is the positive choice.
In "The Art of Give Up", the author once divided the abandonment into two types:
Someone frequently jumped jobs to avoid escaping, and each job ended with too many negative emotions;
Someone encountered something broken, and his first reaction was not to give up, but torture himself in countless ruminations .
These behaviors are negative abandonment.
Someone ended a long-distance running relationship, and many people regret it, but he knew that he consumed more than gains in this relationship.
Someone gave up the originally comfortable job, and many people think it is unwise, but they know that they can gain new passion in the challenge.
Correctly evaluate your fitness with the target, and then adjust the plan to this end. These behaviors are all positive abandonment.
is afraid of uncertainty and grits teeth and persists when it comes to things you don’t like;
is worried about the cost of sunk and is unwilling to end a bad relationship.
will only waste time and consume yourself in the end.
If you can’t walk through a road, you will turn; if you can’t keep a relationship, you will go with the flow; if you can’t figure it out, you will forget.
Instead of fighting and entanglement everywhere, it is better to let yourself go and take it lightly.
Tao Yuanming was born when he was 26 years old.
He was first father and excitedly wrote a poem "Fate Son ":
My ancestors are from Tao Tang. The distant Yubin is a long history of glory.
Children, our family is amazing, you must continue the glory of your family in the future!
wrote a big article in a scattered manner, and suddenly he thought: What if my son is an ordinary person?
I am not talented!
If you can’t become successful, just forget it, just pretend I didn’t say it before!
More than a year later, he complained in the poem " Responsible ":
Although there are five men, they are not good at paper and pen.
The eldest doesn’t like to study, the second is lazy than him, the third is too young to tell the difference between the sixth and the seventh.
Lao Wu is a foodie and doesn’t look like he has a promising appearance. What should I do?
If you do this in the day luck, put it in the cup.
Since I deserve this, I will continue to drink.
You see, don’t make things difficult for yourself, and don’t make things difficult for others. Tao Yuanming's "acceptance" is more thorough than that of ordinary people.
He is familiar with "Laozhuang" and believes that
The life of life is as natural as the changes in the four seasons, and cannot interfere or complain.
Therefore, people should also accept the changes in life's storms and move forward step by step as if they are in line with the four seasons.
psychological comic collection "Holding the Bang Myself", after a visitor gave birth to a second child, he found that her husband cheated on him and transferred his property.
While she was going to sue, she had to take care of her children. The strong mental pressure made her fall into severe depression.
The friend's guidance made her feel relaxed for a while, but she fell into anxiety after a long time.
At the suggestion of the doctor, she took the child back to her hometown.
At the familiar home and in front of her parents, whether she wants to cry, be lazy or escape, she will get the sentence "You can."
This thorough acceptance also made her start to let herself go:
"Maybe the current state is bad, but I will work again and integrate into society. The process may be slow, but I believe I deserve a better future!"
htmlm l0The reason why many people are tired is that they are too nervous:
Take perfect work, children go to the best school, and life is better than others...
Behind this tension, it is actually the disacceptance of oneself:
I am not good enough, my home and my children are not good enough.
The following paragraph can be read frequently:
Lift up your hands, cross your arms, pat your shoulders, and tell yourself: I have done a great job in the past. I can really take my time with the rest.
The child’s grades are not good, it doesn’t matter, take your child slowly;
When people reach middle age, it’s difficult to learn new skills, it doesn’t matter, allow yourself to take it slowly;
Always quarrel with your partner, and they are still running into each other for many years after marriage, it doesn’t matter, allow us to take it slowly.
Only by completely accepting ourselves, feeling sorry for ourselves, and allowing everything to take it slowly can our hearts truly relax.
"No less than the worldly rhyme, my nature loves mountains and mountains."
is different from the original intention of most hermits to choose seclusion.
Tao Yuanming's seclusion was based on the true love of pastoral life.
So there is no too much resentment and injustice in his poems.
There are only scattered villages and curling smoke from cooking stoves. Neighbors visit each other and friends enjoy the wonderful texts together.
is like a beautiful and peaceful scenery documentary.
This is also what Tao Yuanming loves:
Lives hard, but still "can live".
In "Coffee House at the End of the World", there is a customer named Annie.
She usually works hard, so she will relieve stress by shopping, but she rarely really enjoys these things.
One day she couldn't help crying when she looked at the long bill.
Later, inspired by waiter Cathy, she finally figured out:
Work, external, those so-called perfection only satisfy the "excellence" in the eyes of others and will not make yourself happy for a long time.
After thinking through this, she began to change her lifestyle.
Set aside 1 hour every day to dig out what you really love, such as reading and hiking.
After a period of time, she found that she no longer had to face long bills, and her dependence on material things has also changed with the realization of love.
Do you feel this way?
Our generation is richer and more "poor" than before.
How long has it been since you felt the scent of insects and flowers, and how long has it been since you observed the galaxy in the sky?
How long has it been since you calmed down and thought about a question, or read a small book with your child?
We seem to be used to talking about "live" first and then life.
Only when you feel that you have saved enough money and retired can you be qualified to make yourself happy.
So day after day, I was exhausted and gradually became numb.
When you walk too fast, remember to wait for your soul.
Don’t quit your thinking, fun, enthusiasm and desire to share because of the fatigue of life; try to forget "assessment, performance, DDL" while resting for a while.
As there is a saying:
You should not just pass by, you have to feel; you should not just live, you have to live.
Build a house in the human world, without the noise of cars and horses. I ask you how to go, and your heart is distant and deviate.
What Tao Yuanming wants to tell the world is never how noisy the world is and how high the retreat is.
Instead, in the mortal world, you can also achieve the state of inner harmony, so that the sense of happiness in your heart will remain.
Isn’t this the “sensation of relaxation” we pursue?
It does not require big moves, but it lies in every ordinary moment.
Relaxation is not a mood, but a ability.
It is much easier to be a happy person than to be a successful person.
Unfortunately, many people always get in the opposite way.
Click "Like" . Life is not easy, I hope we can all learn to love ourselves well.
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