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text: Gu Xi
illustration: from the Internet
"I have been in love with my boyfriend for three years and live together. I am very in pain recently because my parents do not agree with my boyfriend's marriage and think that my boyfriend is unprosperous. My boyfriend has had a lot of quarrels with me. My boyfriend said that my parents are powerful and just think that he has no money. But in fact, what my parents look down on is not his family, but that he himself does not have his own job. He eats and eats and plays games every day and does not do his job properly, so he is worried that I will marry him. Although I love him very much, I am now starting to worry about it and don't know what to do." Two days ago, a reader friend sent a private message.
I have a lot of feelings when I saw this private message.
For this friend, the most important thing she should do now is not to worry about and suffer, but to recognize the facts.
As her parents said, this man is not only unreliable but also has no future, and cannot give her happiness at all. Stop loss in time is the most responsible way to be himself.
Seeing this, someone may ask: "What kind of man is a man with no prospect?"
In fact, whether a man has money does not mean whether a man has a future. Only what a man does can prove whether a man has a future.
Three habits of men who have no future will be difficult to succeed if they do not change.
A man with no prospects has the habit of escaping when encountering problems.
In reality, to judge whether a man has a future depends on what the man does.
If a man is procrastinating in his work and avoids problems, he will be a loser.
Because the more things are delayed, the less likely it is to succeed.
People who habitually escape when encountering difficulties often do not have the determination to overcome difficulties and persistence.
The old saying goes: "One move, one more will decline, and three more will be exhausted."
If things are not completed in one go, then there is a high probability that they will be given up later.
Because you can't stick to it for the first time, it's even harder to stick to it later.
Everything is difficult at the beginning. If you can’t even take the first step well, there will be no future.
The ancients said: "Tomorrow and tomorrow, there are so many tomorrows. I will live to tomorrow, and everything will be wasted."
Those who can achieve great things will not be thrilling in dealing with people, but will not drag on the mud.
People who are procrastinating often have a lot of negative emotions. Not only are they inefficient in their work, but they are also very likely to mess up things.
They are afraid of their heads and tails when doing things, afraid of wolves in front and tigers in the back.
They think this is because of their prudence, but in fact, a large part of 's escape psychology is caused by "cognitive distortion".
"Cognitive distortion" is a concept proposed by psychologist Baker, referring to obsessed with some wrong or untrue cognitions that often lead to negative emotions, thinking and behaviors, and hinder us from getting out of difficulties.
Therefore, we all need positive feedback,
Only after these feedback can we persist more actively.
For those who like to escape, if you want to truly persist and change, you can only start from small things and start from the simplest things. Only when you have the joy and motivation to succeed can you be more motivated to persevere.
Many people who want to change but cannot persist cannot persist because they are always arrogant and choose the biggest challenge as soon as they come. Therefore, under the stimulation of failure, it is naturally difficult for them to persist.
A man with no prospects has the habit of always making excuses.
In reality, no one wants to get closer to the "blame-shifter" because you never know when you will take the blame in carelessness.
Because this type of people like to find excuses to evade responsibility no matter what happens.
Anyone can become their reason and excuse to evade responsibility.
is like those who always despise their family, are always unwilling to work hard, and are lazy to shirk responsibility.
The main reason why they cannot succeed is not because they are not from their origins, but because they have never tried their best, so how can they succeed?
For most families, although parents cannot give you the best life, if they fulfill their responsibilities as parents, then children are not qualified to blame their parents.
Most parents of ordinary families cannot actually bring substantial help to their children.
Of course, parents cannot ask for their children at will.
But be strict with oneself and set an example.
If you can't do anything to others, then you can't force your child to do what you don't want.
Many people do not dislike their parents being mediocre or poor, but they cannot be lenient with others and strictly discipline themselves. On the contrary, they often demand themselves with the lowest requirements, while their children are demanding high, and they build all their pain on others.
For life, most of them need to rely on their own efforts to fight, so whether a person can succeed in the future depends on himself.
If a person never reflects on himself and will not change himself, he will never be able to truly succeed in his life.
They can only listen to false good words, but not the truth that others say.
They are unwilling to face themselves, unwilling to step out of their comfort zone, and only want to live in a self-constructed world.
so, I kept deceiving myself.
Because change is painful, and they are cowardly and lazy. In order to cover up their shortcomings, they will find various reasons and excuses.
even hesitates to hurt the people around him to protect himself.
In fact, if you want to be truly successful, you have to learn to rely on your own efforts.
No one can rely on, except yourself.
If you always think about relying on others to succeed, then you will never be able to succeed.
A man with no prospects has the habit of following the trend.
follows the trend, which is actually some of the instinctive reactions of people.
Not only do they eat and eat lazy, they also do not think independently.
Most people who like to follow the trend are people who want to get something for nothing.
Because following the trend does not require thinking.
People are lazy and too lazy to think, and you don’t need to think about it after following the trend.
They are unwilling to work hard for success, and believe that as long as they imitate other people’s success, they want to succeed easily.
But I don’t know that any success cannot be achieved easily, this is the sublimation after countless failures.
So, they will only doubt themselves more in repeated failures.
They do things through thinking through thinking in their minds, doing things simply, be determined to act on their own and act impulsively.
does not have its own opinions and thoughts.
likes to follow the trend, but it is only three minutes hot. Even if they choose the right track by chance, they cannot stick to it and then succeed.
Three days of fishing and two days of drying the net is their normal behavior.
In the eyes of others, they seem to work hard, but they just touched themselves and never made great achievements.
——END
Today's topic: "Do you think it's right?"
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