My good friend Xiaoyan, after fleeing Shanghai, stayed in her hometown for two and a half years, and then fled back to Shanghai. In her hometown, what is more difficult than working is her blind date experience. One of them was really weird. Relatives, blood ties, and marriage we

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Author | Yang Xiaomi + Tongyang Edit | Xiaochen

Source | Meet Xiaomi (ID: yujianxiaomi 2015)

Hello everyone, I am Tongyang of Xiaomi team.

My good friend Xiaoyan, after fleeing Shanghai, stayed in her hometown for 2 and a half years, and then fled back to Shanghai. In her hometown, what is more difficult than working is her blind date experience.

One of them was really weird. Relatives, blood ties, and marriage were like a mess, and they were entangled, which scared her. She quickly found a job and returned to Shanghai.

This is what happened...

After Xiaoyan returned home from Shanghai, she rested for half a year due to physical reasons and did not look for a job.

During this period, her mother did not let her be idle. Xiaoyan was as old as me. She was in 1995. At that time, (2019) 24 years old. She was already considered an older young woman in her hometown. Her mother naturally couldn't rest assured and arranged to find a good home for her.

Although Xiaoyan’s mother was anxious to find a partner for her, the quality of this partner was strictly controlled.

Her standard for finding a partner for Xiaoyan is very clear: first look at the character, boys must have good character, otherwise they will not be able to talk about it; if the character is passed, then look at other ones.

But at this time, Xiaoyan's second aunt suddenly introduced a partner to Xiaoyan, which made both the mother and daughter very alert. After all, it was not the first time that the second aunt had cheated them...

01

Xiaoyan's mother has two sisters, but the relationship is not very close.

Xiaoyan's mother is the eldest. When she was a child, her family was not in good condition and her parents worked outside. Before she was 14 years old, Xiaoyan's mother was fostering in other people's homes. Later, when her parents returned to their hometown to develop, they brought Xiaoyan's mother back. At that time, her two sisters, one was 8 years old and the other was 6 years old.

Two sisters grew up by their parents and never knew they had a sister, so after Xiaoyan's mother was taken home, she encountered fierce resistance and life was more difficult than in a foster family.

Until now, this problem has not been completely fixed, but everyone has grown up and become sensible, so they have maintained superficial peace.

Among them, Xiaoyan’s mother’s second sister, Xiaoyan’s second aunt, has always been incompatible with Xiaoyan’s mother.

When Xiaoyan's mother didn't come back, her second aunt was the eldest in the family and could give orders; when Xiaoyan's mother came back, she became the second child, and she felt particularly unhappy. She was very popular with Xiaoyan's mother in public and secretly.

When I was in school, I compared my grades with Xiaoyan’s mother, and later I compared my work and husband.

When Xiaoyan's mother was a child, she was precocious and had a clear mind. When she was in school, she did not compete with her second aunt and gave in to her everywhere. The second aunt suppressed Xiaoyan's mother all the way, which satisfied her self-esteem and her relationship with Xiaoyan's mother became much better. After working in

, Xiaoyan's mother left her original family and showed her work ability. She quickly became a young leader; and the second aunt worked as a young employee for several years. At this time, the relationship between the two froze again. Aunt Er sarcastically from time to time, and Xiaoyan's mother would just listen.

Until, the two got married separately.

Second aunt got married first. Her husband is a young leader and only son. Her family is in good condition and helps everywhere.

Xiaoyan's mother got married later. She was poor and was a worker in a factory in the county, and she was still the eldest in the family, and she was dragging her family behind her back. But Xiaoyan's mother likes others and is responsible.

When chatting with relatives and neighbors, Xiaoyan heard that on the day her mother got married, her second aunt smiled so hard that her face was about to bloom. She was busy and diligent in her mother's arrangements, and told everyone that Xiaoyan's father's family was not good, but she was so honest. She could live a down-to-earth life in the future. If she really couldn't live, she would help her. If she had no job in the future, she would work with her husband.

resulted in a prophecy. After Xiaoyan was born, the factory went bankrupt and was laid off.

But Xiaoyan’s father is not only honest, but also has a good brain.

got married and had the burden of family. He realized that the meager salary in the factory could not support the family and was not a long-term solution. So after get off work, he took the self-study for adult university and construction-related certificates. After the factory went bankrupt, Xiaoyan's father immediately went to Zhejiang to get off the construction site.

started with little money, but Xiaoyan’s mother also resigned in order to take over Xiaoyan. She had no source of income and the whole family lived a stingy life.

At this time, the second aunt came and went frequently and brought some food to her. She also told Xiaoyan's mother that if Xiaoyan's father couldn't make it on the construction site, she could come to the company where her husband was.

Second aunt always thought that Xiaoyan’s father was going to the construction site to move bricks, but in fact, Xiaoyan’s father was going to be an engineer. Xiaoyan’s parents are both people who work hard. When Xiaoyan’s father was taking the self-study exam, he didn’t tell anyone else, so it’s very troublesome to explain it now. Xiaoyan’s mother is too lazy to say it, and it’s just that people misunderstood.

Five years later, Xiaoyan’s father made it, and the money he earned in a month was five times that of his second aunt’s husband.

From then on, the second aunt saw Xiaoyan's mother and her face turned blue again.

02

Time passed quickly, and Xiaoyan and second aunt's daughter both grew up, and the comparison entered the second half.

Both children have similar academic performance. My second aunt's daughter, Xiaoyan, was 3 years old and took the civil service exam. She got married to her colleague last year. The overall situation here has been decided, so it's up to Xiaoyan now.

In fact, the second aunt is always the second aunt. Xiaoyan’s mother is very calm and has no great demands on Xiaoyan. She just hopes that she is safe, healthy, and settles down as soon as possible, so she is rushing to find a partner for Xiaoyan.

The second aunt suddenly came to introduce Xiaoyan to her husband's eldest leader's son.

Xiaoyan's mother was vigilant at first, and after asking, she learned that the other party's family was in good condition, the boy's father was very powerful, and her mother had a good reputation in the wife's circle, and the boy worked under his father's command. The relationship between boys and boys is a bit far from each other. It takes time to inquire about it. Xiaoyan’s mother originally wanted to wait first, and then meet after inquiring clearly, but the second aunt called on WeChat every day, urging in Xiaoyan’s mother: boys are very popular, and they will be chosen by others if they are too late! hurry up! hurry up! !

Second aunt is an impatient person. Xiaoyan's mother got used to it and didn't think much about it. She felt that meeting her would not be a loss, so she arranged for the two children to meet. After seeing her, Xiaoyan didn't like her and felt that the boy was out of tune. When chatting, she smoked two cigarettes in front of her and spoke a little oily. After hearing this, Xiaoyan's mother knew that she was definitely not a good person and refused this matter online.

Unexpectedly, the next day, the second aunt brought her boy's mother to visit her directly!

boy's mother is very beautiful. She can see that her life is prosperous, elegant and rich. She received a lot of gifts and kept praising Xiaoyan, saying that Xiaoyan is beautiful and capable. She likes it very much, and her son likes it too, and wants to continue dating.

The boy's mother was too enthusiastic and even a little humble. Even Xiaoyan's mother was a little confused and didn't understand what was going on, so she could only treat her with a smile.

After the boy's mother left, Xiaoyan's mother became more and more wrong. When she heard the boy's mother talk, she seemed to have seen Xiaoyan. She was very familiar and could tell the small details of Xiaoyan's behavioral habits. For example, Xiaoyan was afraid of fire and did not dare to go to the kitchen. Xiaoyan's mother had never mentioned this to the public.

But the problem is that boys’ mothers shouldn’t have seen Xiaoyan before. The parents of the two children did not go there during the blind date. If it was not right that the second aunt told me, Xiaoyan’s mother protected Xiaoyan very much. In front of her second sister, she rarely talked about Xiaoyan, let alone small details. How did the boys’ mother know?

03

This matter was terrifying to think about. Xiaoyan's mother was uneasy and asked around.

Finally, I finally found out that during the days when Xiaoyan came back, my second aunt frequently invited Xiaoyan to visit her house. Sometimes she only invited Xiaoyan, and sometimes the family.

After all, it is a relative, and it is common for Xiaoyan and his family to go there.

didn't know? My second aunt had planned to install cameras everywhere at home and asked Xiaoyan to go to her house just to quietly take pictures of Xiaoyan's family, and then take the video to show it to the boy's house.

Before meeting, Xiaoyan's family had been examined by the other party.

After Xiaoyan's mother found out, she angrily told her second aunt on WeChat that she knew about the video. The second aunt admitted generously and said that she was also trying to find a good family for Xiaoyan. Xiaoyan's mother solemnly and seriously rejected the marriage to her second aunt.

Unexpectedly, the second aunt and the boy's mother still refused to give up and came to the door again to convince Xiaoyan's mother.

Xiaoyan's mother thought that it might be because she was not serious enough online, so she invited the person in and said in person that the marriage was not suitable, and then sent the two of them away.

was rejected twice. The second aunt was unhappy and scolded Xiaoyan’s mother before leaving, saying that Xiaoyan is so old and it is difficult to marry, and the man’s conditions are so good! My mother is kind and will definitely not make things difficult for Xiaoyan. My father is so capable. Xiaoyan is a rich wife after she married, so why is she still talking about her?

Xiaoyan's mother didn't argue and replied calmly: If things about love are not suitable, they are not suitable, there is nothing to be accented. After

, the boy's mother stopped coming, so the second aunt came by himself. Xiaoyan's mother also put it in once and solemnly refused. Later, the second aunt came here several times without invitation, but Xiaoyan's mother's door was not opened. Seeing this, the second aunt changed her mind and said everywhere that the two children got along well and were ready to get married, trying to get married like this with Xiaoyan.

Xiaoyan was very annoyed, her mother was calm, mouth grows on others, how to say it is his business, the most important thing is that you need to know what you want.

The person I met asked Xiaoyan’s mother when the child would hold a wedding banquet. Xiaoyan’s mother would explain again and again: It’s not suitable.

Some people will advise boys to have such good family conditions and still like Xiaoyan. Why not just do it? Xiaoyan’s mother will tease her at this time: People are not fond of my daughter, but my husband. When you hear this, those who are sensible will understand.

Xiaoyan's mother is very awesome and is very worthy of Xiaoyan's learning. No matter what others say, it is not easy to be affected.

04

From this incident, Xiaoyan's family and second aunt's family completely faded and they no longer walked around during the festival.

Xiaoyan said that her mother was very sad because of this. She didn't expect that her own sister would do everything possible to do anything badly. In order to live a better life, she stepped on her under her feet, and even joked with Xiaoyan's happiness for the rest of her life.What is the second aunt who thinks? When I saw Xiaoyan’s father’s career, I knew that my husband could not catch up with me; when I saw that Xiaoyan’s mother was looking for a partner for Xiaoyan, I understood that most Xiaoyan would marry better than her daughter.

Here are a few more words: people with ability have the ability everywhere they go. Xiaoyan's full-time wife also did a very good job. On the one hand, she has not stopped working after leaving her job; on the other hand, Xiaoyan's father's career is booming, and Xiaoyan's mother gets along well with the wives of Xiaoyan's father's friends, and has a wide social circle.

has more friends and many ways. The people introduced to Xiaoyan are all good, including master's degree in finance and doctoral degree from Chinese Academy of Sciences. But Xiaoyan hasn't met the right one yet. After comparing this way, the second aunt in front of Xiaoyan's mother was completely defeated, which made her unable to accept it.

Second aunt has been careful and arrogant, and strives for the first place in everything. Now that we are getting older and the outside world cannot move, we must be the first at home and not let other sisters live better than her.

A few years ago, the second aunt introduced her very beautiful sister (that is, Xiaoyan San Aunt) , and she tried every means to get married to the third aunt. After the marriage, the man spread his hands and ignored him. He only knew how to play mahjong every day and asked his wife for money. My third aunt couldn't bear the divorce anymore. Now she is alone with her children and lives a difficult life.

This may have given the second aunt an inspiration. Where is Xiaoyan’s mother’s life? Xiaoyan’s happiness! If Xiaoyan is not doing well after getting married, can Xiaoyan’s mother still live in peace?

Of course, Sima Zhao's heart cannot be clearly stated on the table. To think of a way to achieve your goals without being stabbed.

A wonderful idea came - find a way to get Xiaoyan to marry her husband's eldest leader's son.

The man's family conditions look very good, and the boy's mother is also famous for having a good temper. People who don't know the truth will think that her second aunt is too competent and introduce her to her child a partner with such good conditions.

05

But what is the truth behind it?

Later, Xiaoyan's mother went to inquire about this and found that a few months before the blind date, the boy's mother was diagnosed with cancer. The boy's father was flying in the sky outside, and there were two illegitimate children. The boy's mother didn't know if she had been patient and got sick.

My son is the same as his father, very unrestrained, he plays wildly outside, and his girlfriend comes one by one. At work, he was under his father's name, but in fact he only got a salary and didn't go to work every day.

The boy's mother knew that her illness was in trouble. If she passed away, the child's father would be unreliable, so she wanted to find a support for the child as soon as possible.

Then, she fell in love with Xiaoyan. What do you like about her? Honest, silent, sensible, able to take care of people, and diligent in doing things (Xiaoyan goes to her second aunt's house and takes the initiative to do housework) , is a good wife who can manage the family.

also thinks about Xiaoyan's father, who is motivated and capable, and hopes that after getting married in the future, this father-in-law can take care of his son on behalf of his father; he also thinks about Xiaoyan's mother, who is smart and well-behaved, knows that their family is a down-to-earth person, and life will definitely get better and better. When his son goes in, he has a support.

But once Xiaoyan gets married, most of them will repeat the mistakes of a boy's mother. She looks bright and beautiful on the outside, but her heart is full of devastation.

And according to Xiaoyan's stubborn temper, it is impossible for her to endure it for a lifetime. Maybe she will have a divorce at that time, which will make her even more messy and uneasy.

When I heard this story, I sighed in my heart that the novel really originated from life.This kind of thinking that harms oneself and others actually exists.

Actually, Xiaoyan and I don’t understand why my second aunt did this? Xiaoyan’s family is better, is there anything wrong with it? When something happens, you can still help each other. What is the purpose of

The idea of ​​suppressing the people around you just want to emerge? No one can share happiness; when you encounter a problem, you can look at it and no one can help you. Isn’t it desolate?

Perhaps, jealousy will make a person unrecognizable.

Take Xiaoyan's second aunt as an example. As long as she is not more considerate, she is quite easy to get along with, she is enthusiastic and works quickly. But together with vanity and comparative heart, people seem to be crazy, doing something sad and incredible.

This world is very complex. Maturity may be to find a balance between light and darkness. It is not easy to think that people are bad, such a world is too desperate; but we cannot think that people are good, that is a saint, not a mortal.

As long as you are a mortal, there are probably some buttons on your body. If you turn it on, you will be crazy. We must always be aware and not let negative energy erode ourselves.

While doing your best, I just want to say that when you meet such relatives, stay away from them. Relatives also depend on fate.

Yang Xiaomi: Founder of self-media [Meet Xiaomi], author of "Action Money", a psychology class, a Shandong native who lives in Shanghai, has gone from an ordinary employee to a marketing director for 3 years, and has started a business, sharing workplace experience and growth stories