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As mentioned earlier, I am an authentic rural girl and my thoughts are extremely conservative. Although I am 27 or 8 years old, I have always been very sensitive to things between men and women, and I am afraid of being deceived. Although I have seen several partners before, I broke up in a few days, so I have never experienced things about things between men and women, and I don’t quite understand them.
However, in the experience of my friends of the same age, I probably know something: I want to do business with my husband and give him my body on that wedding night. I was very expectant and scared. After all, I have no experience in this regard.
However, an unexpected occurrence almost broke all my life, making me worse than death from now on:
It was when I was not in love with my wedding night.
In that era, people had a very important moral and ethical concept, and everyone attached great importance to whether they were virgins.
Everyone wants to marry a pure girl without sexual experience. Therefore, people will discriminate against women who have had sexual experience. I want to see friends who have watched TV series in the past. This is why the girls in it will be despised if they lose their virginity.
People in that era were very conservative. Even if there were only two lonely men and widows and women who were alone together, many people in the past might not even touch their hands before getting married, and some people even didn't know how to live an adult life.
So, what are the characteristics of virgins? It is said that it is a thin mucosal fold covered with a female vaginal opening, which is the hymen in everyone's eyes. If you have sexual experience, the hymen will rupture and fall red. If you have sex again, there will be nothing. Therefore, people often use the simple method of whether a woman is pure or virgin by whether she has fallen red at the first night?
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At that time, people were not as enlightened as people today, or they knew a lot of knowledge. In fact, modern women doing strenuous exercise, such as riding a horse or riding a bicycle, may cause hymen to rupture. Even if you haven't lived a sex life.
But at that time, the only way to identify a virgin was to see if the hymen was complete and whether the first time the sex was inflicted?
I don’t know why on that night that I was looking forward to and longing for countless times, when I was held in my arms and doing things with him for the first time, and when I endured the severe pain and made him hit my body violently again and again, why did what I was confident of not happening as I expected?
When I woke up in the morning, I looked at the white cloth spread under my body, and at the same time I saw his expression from expectation but disappointment and then angry.
I can't say a word.
Until now, I don’t understand why my body has not bloomed a beautiful red petal on the snow-white white cloth like others.
From then on, my nightmare began.
Starting from the moment he took it for granted that I was not a virgin, his attitude changed all the time when he didn't see me falling.
02
Let’s talk about his situation now. In fact, in addition to having a city household registration, his family is also very poor. At that time, I worked in a large group. The so-called large group was a subsidiary affiliated to a state-owned unit. The salary and benefits were not as good as those of a state-owned unit, and I also faced the risk of disbanding at any time.
When people chose their partners, they didn’t have much chance of choosing for people who were not good at work. Because people’s concept of work is that state-owned units are better than large collective units. Therefore, as a group working, he was very difficult for him to choose a city girl to get married. There was no way, so he could only marry me.
After the wedding night, I felt that he was obviously much colder to me. However, people at that time were not interested in divorce.
This lukewarm relationship lasted until my daughter was born.
The leaves of the sand fruit tree in front of the door turned yellow and yellow. A few winters and summers passed in a blink of an eye. Although the child was young, he gradually grew up under my pull.Although he is lukewarm to me, he is my husband after all. As the children grow up, the expenses of life are gradually increasing. The situation in his unit is getting worse and worse, and he is depressed every day when he comes back.
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Not long after, the turn of time came. I would like to mention here that the matchmaker who introduced me to my partner, Sister Li, my new home is near her unit. She often comes to my shop to chat with me, iron clothes, and change the corners of her pants. We get along like good sisters.
One day I talked to her about her husband's bad work. She thought about it and said that our unit has a valve factory under its office, which is a state-owned unit, and the treatment is much better than that of the large group. It can be said that it is safe to get a income from drought and flood. It is better to transfer him to be a feeder. Not only does it have a stable job, but it has a bit of a gray income.
I said as soon as I heard this, that's great. We are worried about his work. The collective is not a solution after all, it's too unstable. I have a rural household registration and have no formal job. If his job is solved, our family will have a stable income.
It can be said that the person I met, Sister Li, was my lifelong nobleman. She helped me transfer my husband's job to that state-owned unit without asking me a penny.
At the beginning, my husband was a little embarrassed and his attitude was much better to me, but not long after, his fox tail was exposed.
03
In the late 1980s and early 1990s, it was just a good time for reform and opening up. There was gold everywhere. As long as you are diligent, making money is a matter of every minute.
Fortunately, I have a tailoring skills that I could still show at that time, so I opened a small clothing store at my own home.
People at that time only liked to tailor their clothes. In other words, I like to wear clothes that the tailor has measured the size for them and sewed them upright.
For example, the very popular suits, Zhongshan clothing , trousers and skirts, which were very popular at that time, were all popular for a while. Even many small clothing wholesalers in business came to my sister-in-law's store to customize clothes and skirts in small batches. When my sister-in-law was too busy, she sent it to me. We sister-in-law were busy together. In the 1990s, it was the peak clothing season, and people's thoughts were also popular and they would wear whatever they were popular. You can see people wearing a type of clothing everywhere in the streets and alleys. They won’t feel embarrassed when they meet them, and they may even feel very fashionable.
I also relied on my diligence to seize this trend. I worked day and night every day. Because I took the order, the clothing dealer was urging me tightly, fearing that this trend would pass and I would not be able to catch up with the good selling point. So we only completed the processing of thousands of clothes. I and my sister-in-law also made some money, and at the same time felt that there was not enough manpower. I called my niece who was idle and had nothing to do in my hometown in Shandong to help us.
However, unexpectedly, it was this action that made him, who had never cared about his family, think that we had made a lot of money, so he targeted him and had a bad idea.
To be continued
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