My friend told me that he started his business a few years ago, and because of his lack of experience, he missed many opportunities one after another.
He began to doubt his ability, had insomnia all night and did not go out all day, and was once in a state of anxiety.
One morning, his father invited him out for a walk.
told him a story:
At a station in India, a slum child was sitting in a chair to rest. He was dressed in rags and didn't even have shoes.
After a while, many people waiting to take the bus came one after another in the station.
In the crowd, a child from a rich family was squeezed out of his shoes when he got on the bus.
That slum child picked up this shoe and wanted to return it to the child of this rich family.
But the train is getting faster and faster, and the slum children can't catch up.
At this time, his dad asked me: Guess what happened later.
He shook his head.
He remembered it very clearly. My father looked at me meaningfully and said:
The rich child threw down the other shoe on his foot.
Because things have happened and the losses have been caused. Instead of no one can wear these shoes, it is better to leave these shoes for those in need and continue to play their role.
Some things have been lost, and what you should do is to make these lost things more valuable.
01
In Festinger In "Conflict, Decision and Illegality",
10% of life consists of things that happen to you, and the other 90% is determined by how you react to what happens.
He told a classic story:
Castin washed up in the morning and placed the high-end watch next to the toilet. His wife was afraid of being wet by the water, so she put it on the dining table .
When my son took the bread, he hit the watch on the ground and broke it. Castin beat his son and had a fight with his wife.
Castin went to the company and forgot to get the briefcase, and then moved home immediately. There was no one at home, so he had to call his wife to ask for the keys.
My wife hurriedly rushed home and knocked over a fruit stall on the side of the road.
The result is: Castin was 15 minutes late; his wife was deducted for the full attendance award of that month; his son was eliminated in the baseball game that day.
This is a really "bad day".
In this case, 10% of the watch breaks down, and a series of things happening later are the other 90%.
If, when Castin found that his watch broke, he did not scold the child, but comforted his son:
"It doesn't matter, just take it for repair."
Then everything will not happen afterwards.
02
We cannot change the things that have happened, but we can change our mindset.
Have you ever had such an experience?
After several nights, the design plan has been changed countless times. Finally, you hand over the plan to the boss. At this time, the boss said: The customer decided to use their own design.
For a project, you have referred to countless information and wrote more than a dozen reports. At this time, the project manager said: You hand over the information on your hand to XXX, and he will be responsible in the future.
At this time, are you scolding the boss in your heart, or are you calm down and think about which link is wrong? In the movie " Waiting for the Wind to Come ", food columnist Cheng Yumeng should have visited Tuscan for a food visit.
She made all preparations for three months to go to Italy.
, but she was not allowed to go after receiving the notice, so she arranged for her Nepal Pokhara .
Facing this result, Cheng Yumeng was very angry, and she thought it was a very unfair thing.
However, in the face of the editor-in-chief's criticism, Cheng Yumeng finally decided to go.
03
This world is unfair, and there is nothing to do with this world.
Unfair things happen every moment. What is important is not whether it is fair or not, but how we should face it after knowing that this thing is unfair.
You choose not to go, it’s just a matter of one sentence; but if you go, there will be many opportunities.
people are emotional because we have a single perspective on the problem, only see the bad side we have lost, and ignore the things behind many things.
always says that feng shui turns around, there are always times when life is particularly unlucky and everything goes well;
always times when efforts are not rewarded;
always times when it is dirty and particularly confused.
When these problems appear in your mind, don’t always worry:
Why am I sick; why am I heartbroken; why am I unlucky? From the perspective of the problem, it often determines the outcome of the matter. From "Why did this happen to me" to "What does this thing mean to teach me". With this idea, you will continue to grow and become a better person.
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