text | Zhu Sinyong
This question is a bit like "whether to marry an Italian or a French". People from a region cannot be generalized, and they are also included in marriage. Naturally, men who have divorced and children cannot be generalized.
If you want to understand this man, you need to objectively understand his personality characteristics, values, interests and hobbies through getting along with each other, understand his original family, his educational concepts and raising plans for his children, understand his circle of friends, and understand his willingness and ability to solve problems through encountering conflicts.
Don't be emotionally upset and make impulsive decisions.
At the same time, there is another important thing, which is to understand his previous marriage as much as possible.
Although not all divorced people have problems, you have to work hard to investigate. Meeting one will make you very sad and unfortunate in the second half of your life. When inspecting, you have to look at their two groups of families, their matching degree, attitude towards handling marriage problems, etc.
Because his perception and attitude towards marriage is a replica of your future marriage. How he gets along with his ex-wife will get along with you.
A case I tutored, the client evaluated her relationship with her husband. The man was a man who divorced because of his ex-wife's cheating, with a child. The client has complex emotions towards the man, and even has a sense of compassion and the idea of saving him.
It is very terrible for a woman to have such a "save" idea. It is very irrational. Whenever a woman wants to date a man with a marriage history, she must understand his past and comprehensively examine his character.
Especially when you encounter a cheating man, be sure to understand the results of his handling of extramarital relationships and whether he has undergone trauma healing later. If not, you must be prepared to accompany him to heal or help him deal with the sequelae of marriage.
When a lover deviates from his or her love, both men and women will suffer great pain, and their marriage perception will also be distorted.
Especially when a man encounters his wife's deviance, some may choose to divorce and tolerate, some will seek revenge on the man Saner, some will abuse his cheating wives at home, some will be suspicious, tense and depressed, some will hurt themselves, and some will give up on themselves and want to take revenge on their lover's cheating through their own cheating.
Psychological harm will have a great impact on people, because heart disease cannot be seen or touched, but it is the most difficult to treat.
If a person’s trust is destroyed and his view of love is destroyed, he will easily feel insecure about his future intimacy/marriage, and will easily deny his past, present and future.
If you can, you also need to know whether he had tried to end his ex-wife's extramarital affair and how he handled the extramarital affair later. After experiencing betrayal, how he now views marriage, the marriage he has experienced, how he views women's deviance in marriage, and how he views men's deviance.
You should focus on his people when looking for a husband, refer to what he encounters, ideas and methods for solving problems. If you think it is suitable or match you, then you can try it together again, not just looking at his current external conditions and status.
If you only see external things, your marriage will definitely go through a wave of destruction and blow.
If you call a man who is divorced and has children, don’t rush to get married with him. First analyze and evaluate what we said earlier, be sure to be responsible for your marriage.
Wonderful recommendation:
After divorce, is it the man who lives a miserable life or the woman who lives a miserable life?
What is the result of a woman being betrayed and not wanting to divorce.
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