In the general public perception, whether a person is mature depends on his emotional control ability. The more he can control negative emotions, it means that the firmer his mind is and the more trustworthy he is. Some people have a very impatient temper and panic when encountering small things and don’t know what to do. Such behavior obviously looks naive, just like people who are still in their childhood.
Because of this, people always feel that people who don’t lose their temper are easier to get along with. However, after conducting a lot of research, psychologists find that the more people who don’t lose their temper are, the less worthy of deep friendship. What is going on?
What exactly is emotion? Psychological index emotions refer to the changes in the inner thinking activities produced by an individual after external stimulation. What we often describe is actually referring to the emotional response pattern produced by the person in different scenarios.
Temperament has great individual differences, and even when facing the same thing, people have different attitudes.
People with good tempers have relatively stable emotional reaction patterns and are not easily stimulated by the outside world. However, people with poor emotions are easily affected by the external environment, and then they have sensitive and intense emotional reaction patterns. This state is not only unfavorable to physical and mental health, but also causes individuals to fall into negative traps, thus causing trouble to the people around them.
However, we cannot think that emotionality is wrong. After all, humans are animals with emotions. We are not robots and cannot fully follow the cold logic. Any joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness are the result of the emotional experience ability.
Not only that, expressing emotions can also bring people closer and make two people who are originally strangers become friends.
In daily life, it is not difficult for us to find that friends with ordinary relationships are always polite and rational when they get along with each other. Both parties are not willing to disturb each other too much, nor do they want the other party to step into their own boundaries. However, when they get along with friends with familiar relationships, their state is completely different. At this time, there are fewer concerns between the two and more casually. They are more willing to tell the truth and the truth. Even if they make jokes about each other, they are not afraid that the other party will get angry.
Self-psychological defense mechanism hides the true thoughts in your heart.
In addition to getting along with people who truly trust and are close to us, we will reserve our relationship with others. In this case, we will hide our true thoughts, then put on a personality mask, and show them to others with hypocritical illusions. This is actually a self-psychological defense mechanism. This mechanism will be activated when you cannot trust the surrounding environment. After all, you are very clear that once your inner thoughts and real emotions are exposed, it means that all your weaknesses are displayed in front of others.
Not only that, we can also regard hypocrisy as the only rule of social interaction. Only by maintaining hypocrisy can we adapt to the environment.
There are no two identical leaves in this world, nor two identical people. Since each person has different personalities, conflicts and conflicts will inevitably arise when dealing with completely real appearance. In order to allow people to get along well in the same group, everyone has to hide their true side and show what others can accept.
No matter what the situation is, we have corresponding selectivity for the use of personality masks. There is always someone who can let us take off our guard and interact with them sincerely. But there is a person who is not like this at all. They never show their true personality and maintain a mask for everyone. Not only that, they are also used to secretly using tricks to seek benefits for themselves.
The famous psychologist Erikson once summarized this type of people in a personality questionnaire. This type of people has a very significant characteristic, that is, they never express emotions on their faces. When describing them in professional terms, they are highly concealed. They have strong emotional control ability. Even when facing a person who is extremely disgusted, they can chat and laugh freely.
is obviously extremely risky to get along with such people, because you don’t know their true thoughts and whether your friendship is true. After all, there is no concept of friendship in the eyes of such people. If you have value, they will get close to you. Once you are worthless in his eyes, they will abandon you without hesitation.
psychologist Freud once divided people into three levels, namely id , self and superego, id refers to desire deep in the heart, that is, extreme egoism in the subconscious.
People who never lose their temper do not really have a good temper, but because the id in their personality is firmly suppressed. Because these emotions cannot be released, after a long period of accumulation, it will gradually exceed the limit that the superego can suppress, and then explode in an instant.
In short, once a person who never loses his temper gets angry, the consequences will be very terrifying. Everyone should try to avoid interacting with such people. At the same time, we should also pay attention to relieving our negative emotions and not suppress them all in our hearts.
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